Understanding Resistance Concept
-
life soldier
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 2:32 am
Hi. I have had the program since I was 18. I am now 25. I have made the program the blue print for my life. I have a question for any program veterans. I think I have reached the point in my life when I am strong enough to move past the remainder of my negativity and anxiety. I have little direction. I was int he coaching program but hadnt the money to finish for now. Is my resistance my fault? I know the reasons I havent made some changes....I was very weak and alone. I dont feel this way any more. I want to change.
-
Guest
Hey Life Soldier. I am finishing up next week but know I still have some problems with resistance. Anyway, you should probably post this question in the General Comments forum so it will get more attention. There are a lot of great the program vets there that can answer your question. That's great that you're ready to to finish your transformation! I hope I have the courage to be where you are soon. Keep up the good work!
-
Guest
Hey guys this is my first post and I just realized a lot about myself. Im taking more control of my life and being more organized and responsible for my life. Im 24 and had been living at home and letting my mom take care of everything. Ive since moved out and am doing more things for myself. I just listened to session 12 and am realizing that I am using my girlfriend of 6+ months as my safe person. I find that Im very anxious when I go out in public with her, and just fall back to the kid grabbing his mothers dress stage, I just recently started to spend time hanging out with other people. for a while I was only hanging out with her. Im in a tricky situation because she is naturally the mothering type having basically raised her brother.
I thought my limitations were socializing and talking to people, yet I am now doing that relatively without anxiety. I am just finding it hard to do with her there. Like Im having trouble being myself around her and other people , but seperately I can. I love this girl and definitely see a future with her but it says in the program to rid yourself of your safe person,
can she be my girlfriend and not my safe person or should I just end it...
I thought my limitations were socializing and talking to people, yet I am now doing that relatively without anxiety. I am just finding it hard to do with her there. Like Im having trouble being myself around her and other people , but seperately I can. I love this girl and definitely see a future with her but it says in the program to rid yourself of your safe person,
can she be my girlfriend and not my safe person or should I just end it...
-
Guest
life soldier,
Your resistances are not your fault. They are just the result of the anxieties you've gotten from life. Everybody has resistance towards things, thats normal. Also when has blaming yourself made you feel better, more motivated, more optimistic? Forget it! You didn't have all that you needed to face some of those limitations but as you grow, you'll be more ready to do it. There's no timelimit we have to fulfill when it comes to our limitations. That is just more pressure that you don't need.
Zell_Dincht...Big fan of final fantasy 8 are ya? Zell was pretty cool.
Anyways, it sounds like you're starting to become more independant and thats good. You have a problem being yourself when you are around your gf and other people and that makes sense since she has been your safe person for so long.
The program doesn't say to rid yourself of your safe person. It says to make yourself your safe person. You need to be there for yourself, calm yourself down, give yourself positive reinforcements instead of depending on getting that from someone else. It suggests that you are the person you run to when you have all that anxiety. Think of Safe person as in the anti-anxiety person. Also There might still be times that are extremely difficult and you need to talk to someone and be understood. Stuff like death, difficult days at work, relationship issues...etc.
Hope that helps,
Mike
Your resistances are not your fault. They are just the result of the anxieties you've gotten from life. Everybody has resistance towards things, thats normal. Also when has blaming yourself made you feel better, more motivated, more optimistic? Forget it! You didn't have all that you needed to face some of those limitations but as you grow, you'll be more ready to do it. There's no timelimit we have to fulfill when it comes to our limitations. That is just more pressure that you don't need.
Zell_Dincht...Big fan of final fantasy 8 are ya? Zell was pretty cool.
Anyways, it sounds like you're starting to become more independant and thats good. You have a problem being yourself when you are around your gf and other people and that makes sense since she has been your safe person for so long.
The program doesn't say to rid yourself of your safe person. It says to make yourself your safe person. You need to be there for yourself, calm yourself down, give yourself positive reinforcements instead of depending on getting that from someone else. It suggests that you are the person you run to when you have all that anxiety. Think of Safe person as in the anti-anxiety person. Also There might still be times that are extremely difficult and you need to talk to someone and be understood. Stuff like death, difficult days at work, relationship issues...etc.
Hope that helps,
Mike