advice please

[ladybug_101]

i have been doing really good with this program !! but something is still bothering me it goes back to session 10. I CANT FIGURE OUT WHT I AM AVOIDING !! i have a general anixity , mild depression,. my main reason for starting this program is i have a very hard time with travel by car , plane , bus ect. it really makes me uncomterable to drive the high way and i was a really bad passanger lots of scarey thoughts. nite travel and snowy weather has always been very hard for me !! i can say i have had great success with the program, i have exsperiance great relif in the traveling department iam a much better passanger. i had not driven the highway in 15 years and now i have drove it 4 times!!! but iam still scared to drive... i can now drive about a mile on the highway and go the back way to town and i had not done that for 6 yrs and iam pretty comfterable with that. nite time travel avoid at all cost!!! but i have done very well with the nite travel which really amazed me... i fill like i have had a set back recently i have been a little more edgey not bad but it wants to creep in. the other nite i had to go threw an area that i really dislike but i had been doing great with it, then bam had to travel threw there at nite and have done it and been great but all the sudden i lost control it took me about 30 minuets to get it from a level 6 down to a level 2 what the heck ? at least i wasnt at a level 10 been there many times so i didnt do to bad.. there has been a few times that when i go to drive the back way a thought will pop in and its says as iam turning off the high way to go the back way i think i cld have just kept going and drove the high way but i dont ... i also keep thinking if i do what if the fear and panic comes back i know i have the skills to help me but why cant i just do it !!! it is the same thought when i even think of going on a trip one part of me says i think i can do this but the other part of me thinks wht if all those horrible fillings come back grrrrrr!!!! i really dont no where this fear comes from all i can think of is i never got my driver licence till i was 28 i never really had the oppertunity to drive as a young woman and i have always been scared to drive it just got worse over the years!! i had about a good 12 years that i did drive even at nite but i was still not that comfterable with it but i managed. when i about passed out driving down the highway that was it i never drove it again... i did have a very tramatic thing happen during that time and i do belive that threw me over the edge.but my mom does not drive and her mom never drove and 2 of her sisters dont drive. and 2 of my sister have the same trouble with traveling as well. we traveled tons when i was a kid dad worked the oil field so we moved alot and i hated it. i do remember when i was a kid very young like 10 or so my mom got in awreak in town and it scared us all . i can remember my mom driving around town as i got older and she was a wreak totally was a freek!! and she was a terrible passanger just like me... and still is to this day!! do you think her fears became my fears? i dislike high speeds and large volumes of traffic, rainy or snowy or windy weather makes me edgey also , but i have done pretty good with it all except the snow i still avoid it at all cost!! sorry so long wld appriciate any feed back

[custodialjunky]

Hi Ladybug, I too was afraid of driving and didn't get my licence until I was 29. I was just commenting to my parents that it will be 19 years of driving this April! Time goes by fast. My biggest fear was getting into an accident, which I did have, 1 year after getting my licence. Figures eh? But oddly enough it made me stronger. I got back into the car and drove past that spot a number of times just to get over the fear. As for weather driving, I drive in a lot of snow and am able to handle it now. Funny thing is that I feel safest in my car and it is the only place that I don't have panic attacks.
I can't believe that I'm actually back on here. I thought I had this beat, but the other day I had an attack at the gym. I shrugged it off but had another one today. Not Kool. I had gone 3 years without an attack but this time I have the program. I need to start the lessons again because I don't want to be held captive like the last time.
I guess it's like anything else, you start feeling okay again but forget to use what you have learned.
It really is an annoying syndrome. So much wasted time.
Just remember, If you are driving you are in control. If you are a passenger...close your eyes and pretend you are somewhere else. I found sitting in the back behind the driver prevented me from seeing what the driver was seeing and that helped too.
Best regards,
custodiajunky

[ladybug_101]

coustodialjunky thank you for the reply!!! i never thought about close your eyes and pretened you are some where eles thats true but i think me drive or them i choose them lol ! i guess that goes back to being your own safe person hummmm idk about the back seat kinda scarey gotta no whts going on lol sorry to hear you have had a bit of a set back but hey you have done great for a long time you will be back on track in no time

[custodialjunky]

How far along are you in the program? I had another mild attack today but I was determined not to let it take over. I took a short break to calm down, and was able to snap back. It was almost like an experiement. I started to 'obsessive think' over something that can really annoy me, and wouldn't you know it, the anxiety started. It really proved a point. As soon as I changed my thinking the anxiety went a way and had a pretty productive day. It's funny because as soon as it starts, my muscles tighten up in my neck and shoulders and in my stomach area. That makes me think I'm having a heart attack and then the fun begins. This time I just thought, it's not a heart problem its anxiety. Used the old 'self talk' technique and it worked. I went through lesson 1 last night and had forgotten about all of the tools because so much time has passed from before. I think it's a good practice for everyone to review the program once in a while.
Stay strong.

[ladybug_101]

costodialjunky you r right i do need to go back and review a few sessions iam on session 12 i have listened to it 3 times but still need to do the work book. and i have had a few things going on as of late taxes a dirty word lol ! looking for a new job and i really love my job but the travel is so difficult i have done better as a passanger, but am slipping a bit in that department and i have been doing so good. i have a job interview tommorrow scarrreyyyy and if i take the job i just know i will hate it , but they say change is good i have made pretty good progress in driving but my wk is 80 miles round trip, and i have only drove to the town i wk in 1 time in 27 yrs pretty lame huh !! i just wish i cld be like everyone eles and just do it !!! but it took me alot of years to get this way and i need to have more detecation in facing my fears its really hard !! ever sence i lost my car pull buddy its been hell my hubby takes me and picks me up i stress about that alot the cost of gas go to my wk 2 times back and 2 times going is killing the pocket book not to mention wht a strain on my hubby and his job!! i have been in the beauty industy for 34 yrs and out of that time i have been teaching in a beauty school for the last 9 of those years sence the school moved getting to wk has been difficult it used to be ten miles one way and i cld drive that ! the last 6 yrs has been long distance travel !! just the thought of changing jobs freeeaakks me out ! NOT TO MENTION SENCE SAT I HAVE BEEN HAVING DIZZY SPELLS OR LIGHT HEADED ANOTHER THING TO PUT ON MY WORRY LIST GOTTA GO SEE THE DOC MAKE SURE EVERYTHINGS OK ! AND THEN TO PUT THE ICING ON THE CAKE I HAVE LOST 70 LBS AND NOW I HAVE IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS PUT ON 7 LBS I JUST FILL LIKE THINGS R GETTING AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW THANX SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONCE !!

[custodialjunky]

Hey Ladybug, I wish you well on you job interview. I'm pretty sure your dizzy spells are stess related. Been there done that many times. This time around my problem seems to have started from an injury when I was working out. It put too much stress on my neck and back and it messed my spine up a bit. My Chiropractor (who is also a close friend) gave me the 'what the heck are you doing?' lecture. The problem is that I feel the effects of the injury and right away think its something esle which makes me think I'm dying or something. I spin out of control and that just adds to the problem. It really is crazy. I gotta stop doing that. The injury is healing and the weird feelings from it are going away which in turn is slowing down the dizzy feelings and anxiety feelings. When I had my first bout of Stress and Anxiety Disorder 5 years ago it was Vertigo (caused by an inner ear infection) that started the whole problem. In my case, it seems to start as a physical problem and then I turn it into a stress problem. All of the other things that bug me seem to become amplified and then it starts to control me.
It seems to me that everyone has a different trigger that starts the problem. The reason I say that is that 2 of my friends started by passing out and then the stress and anxiety took over, my brother almost passed out and that started his Chronic Fatigue Syndrome while my mom fainted and developed Agoraphobia. All of them were stressed to the max but didn't have a physical problem that started the problem. I guess everyone is different on how it starts but we all end up in the same place.
Keep up reviewing the program. It will help.

[ladybug_101]

heyyy coustodialjunky i think u are right about the dizzy light headed filling but i will go get check to be safe. PS I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR A WEEK NOW BUT I STILL HAVENT WENT TO SEE THE DOC! yeah be careful with your exsersize dont over do it !! i know wht you mean i to have at times had something happen and totally blow it out of portion it really bites to be this way. i also had a bout with vertigo inter ear infection they said but i never had any pain. they gave me meds and eventully it got better its kinda freaky. i do know ever sence that time they said i had vertgo when i close my eyes in the shower or just standing with eyes close i have to hold on to something cause i fill like iam swaying. the dizzy spells are pretty much gone. except it was wierd i listened to the relax cd last nite and i was on the second part of the cd and i felt like i was spinnig for a second or two that was a first iam trying to listen to the cd more than once at nite sometimes. i think it has helped. i went to the job interview and it seems real promising i should no in a week or two. i still have very mixed emotions about leaving my job of 9 years but i dont know how much more i can take i think iam filling better now because i have finally made the desision to move on but i just hope iam not making a finacal mistake change is scarey but session 12 says changes is good. its not only the traveling every day thats getting to me on the job. theres allways that one person you cld do with out. but i have been pretty unhappy the last 2 yrs. i think i better get out while the getting is good !! i do belive the place will be closed down in a yr to 6 months the boss starts classses takes 1500 up front for kits and book and i have had a new class for 3 weeks i still have no books or kits for them to work with its pretty pathetic and embarrassing. i beg and borrow from other student to keep them buzy i just cant take it any more. thanks so much for your replies and i do hope you r getting better hang in there i know you will be back on track!! your post have helped me alot. have a great day !

[custodialjunky]

Hey Ladybug, just had a bad day. I had to go home from work. I can't say that I've had it this bad. I'm going to the Doctor tomorrow. I've been going to Chiro and Physio this week and thought I was doing better. I felt great Tuesday but today, as soon as I got to work I had a series of anxiety attacks. It has ruined the whole day. I'm pretty down about it. We are so busy at work and I have a number of events that I want to be apart of and probably won't be able to attend. This sucks! The part about this I hate is waiting for the next attack. It feels like it is just waiting to happen. I think I will listen to disc 2 for support. I may ask the doctor if I should take a sick leave so that I can get treated and back to normal quickly.
I still feel that if I could be treated over a week period it would help get over this.
The word for today is FRUSTRATION!
I hope you are doing well and this doesn't get you down. It just reminds me that others are going through the same ups and downs.
Take care

[custodialjunky]

Hello again, have you noticed the times on here? They seem really off. The post said 9 pm but it was only 5 pm here.
Just thought that was kind of funny.

[ladybug_101]

heyyy costodialjunky sorry to here you r having a hard time session 2 is a good one to back to ... may b you need to vacation and just work on you for a while !! REMEMBER YOUR SKILLS BREATH !! DONT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ATTACK THATS WHAT BRINGING ON ALL THOSE OLD FILLINGS FIGHT IT!! I THINK IAM BACK ON TRACK FILLING LOTS BETTER!! IT HAS REALLY HELPED ME TO LISTEN TO THE RELAX CD EVERY NIGHT ALL 3 SESSIONS !! Just breath threw out the day use your self talk even when things r going good dont wait till it gets out of hand.... and you need to face the fear and go have a good time dont stress about not being able to go it just makes it worse instead take a friend and go shopping get your hair and nails done thinkk of it as therapy lol you know if we look good it does make us fill good about our selfs!! DONT !!! let your thoughts rule you thoughts only thoughts.... when you fill like panicing SAY STOP OVER AND OVER DONT LET THE NEGITIVE THOUGHTS IN !! YOU GOT THIS YOU DID IT ONCE YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN! i think i told you i got the job and it was a pretty rough desison to make i stressed and cryed my eyes out all last week sad to leave a profession that i loved but i made the right desison !! and might i say WOW SESSION 12 WHT AN EYE OPENER " CHANGE IS GOOD " I AM FILLING PRETTY GOOD ABOUT THINGS RIGHT NOW TAKE CARE THINGS WILL GET BETTER!