I've been using the guided meditations alot more lately and mindfulness meditation and it helps a bit with the anxiety but I just realized today that I need to renew my plan to use the thought replacement on paper as I still get very stuck with certain feelings and expectations so you'll be seeing me do that again.
Today was a purging day. When I get too exhausted, lethargic and don't want to do things right from when I wake up then its a good sign that I need to purge! I cleaned out my entire digestive tract and then worked on self-help and relaxation and it helped out alot. I was having a difficult time with some feelings, they were really really intense but I felt alot better after doing the thought replacement. Here is my thoughts with the replacements:
1)I shouldn't have stayed in and been on the computer for the whole day, I'm so pathetic and lazy
[Guilty/Ashamed, Worthless]
(Should, Label)
->Staying in and being on the computer is not how I want to live my whole life but there are some days where I need to take care of myself and that might involved staying in. I don't od this on a daily basis so there is no reason to punish myself and push myself to change, my whole day has been about change and support. I took care of myself so I can be better tomorrow, thats not pathetic at all, this is what I'm trying to make a habit, I did good.
2)I should've done more instead I let my anxiety control me again. This is hopeless.
[Hopeless, Discouraged]
(Should, All-Or-Nothing, Emotional Reasoning)
->Yes, my anxiety is high and has been for the last few days and of course its going to affect me alot today. If it didn't than I wouldn't even have a problem with the anxiety. It may have limited me in what I do but I still got things done and made some progress and working through any habit takes time and is a gradual process. The more I try the better I get at it but if I give up then I'll never get better at handling my anxiety and I'll go right back to where I was before I went throught he program and I don't want that.
3)I can never get over this condition, I can't stop my thoughts
[Hopeless, Discouraged, Worthless]
(Should, All-Or-Nothing)
->It feels like I am doomed but I'm really not, I have overcame many thoughts and strong emotions and I can do it again and again. My goal is not to stop them but to accept that they're there and let them go and not be afraid of them. It takes practice but I can do it.
4)I'll never get a job if I continue like this, I'm not trying hard enough
[Hopeless, Discouraged, Worthless]
(Fortune telling, All-or-nothing, Minimization, Emotional reasoning)
->I'll never get a job if I keep dumping all over myself like this and believing that its impossible. Beating myself up does not support me with any goal I have and it certainly doesn't give me or allow for a clear mind that I need in order to achieve the goal. What I need right now is some support, I know I have what I need inside me to make it happen and to be able to handle any outcome the only thing that stops me is the doubt, its the reason why I'm so panicky, drained and bewildered. Its the only thing stopping me right now. I can overcome it and I am overcoming it everytime I calm myself down and change my thoughts.
5)I'm getting nowhere In my efforts, I'm not even using the relaxation cd as much as I should
[Hopeless, Discouraged, Worthless]
(All-Or-Nothing, Emotional Reasoning, Minimization)
->It feels like I'm getting nowhere because I feel bad and I feel more anxious but thats just because of the catastrophizing thoughts and my thoughts about facing my limitations, thats normal, its suppose to happen like that but it doesn't mean I'm making no progress at all. I already wnet and got my gym membership reduced as well as my cellphone and both of those have caused me alot of anxiety. I wouldn't have been able to do that a year ago so how can it be true that i'm not getting anywhere with my efforts? I made those huge accomplishments because of calming myself down with the relaxation cd and guided meditations. I don't have to do it a specific ammount of time before it works, I get benefit each and everytime. I just need to keep going a bit longer and then I'll be able to do it.
6)I can't do the program on my own, I'll get too lonely and isolate myself from everybody If I do
[Lonely, Hopeless, Depressed]
(All-or-nothing, Fortune telling)
->It was something I did in the past where I would isolate myself to do the self-help but thats not me anymore, I have been breaking out of that for the past year and I'm not going to go back to that because I don't want to. I am in control, I can do the program and spend my time around others. If I have to do it on my own, I can do that, I have what it takes in order to do that.
Mike
The Challenge...Lesson 12
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: The Challenge...Lesson 12
Hi all, glad to see you! 
Well, as for picking out the pics to show the Therapist, was definitely an anxious experience, but I learned quite a bit! Something I've been wanting to do since I have many digital pics now since I have got a digital camera 2 Christmases ago.
So as anxiety producing it was to use DH's computer in his cold, messy office in the garage, ( I say that to explain why I have taken so long to experiment using the photocard in his computer.) Its a business office and a man's world out there!
I survived the experience and will venture out there more to post other pics I take in the future to the Internet, not my sister's place though. My DS 19 downloaded all the pics I took on the photocard from my 2010 Spring trip to the west coast onto his computer. I have not seen them yet, but at least they were cleared off and saved for me to look at later to delete or keep, and maybe burn on a DVD. Nothing happened with those earlier because that is when I came home to the surprise of all my stuff in the basement had been packed up and moved out. The beginning of my first panic attack!
THH--I have pretty much the same things going on as what you wrote down about control and either doing things yourself or allow others to do it. Also, just listening and not trying to fix anything. I'm getting so much better at listening then in my early years where I would talk more. Now I'm working on just listening and keeping my mouth shut.
Also, the necessary goal is being assertive when I'm being dumped on, I'm doing much better than in the past. Now it is time to work on the fine details of where I draw the line in being graceful or blunt.
Well, as for picking out the pics to show the Therapist, was definitely an anxious experience, but I learned quite a bit!
Something I've been wanting to do since I have many digital pics now since I have got a digital camera 2 Christmases ago.So as anxiety producing it was to use DH's computer in his cold, messy office in the garage, ( I say that to explain why I have taken so long to experiment using the photocard in his computer.) Its a business office and a man's world out there!
I survived the experience and will venture out there more to post other pics I take in the future to the Internet, not my sister's place though. My DS 19 downloaded all the pics I took on the photocard from my 2010 Spring trip to the west coast onto his computer. I have not seen them yet, but at least they were cleared off and saved for me to look at later to delete or keep, and maybe burn on a DVD. Nothing happened with those earlier because that is when I came home to the surprise of all my stuff in the basement had been packed up and moved out. The beginning of my first panic attack!
THH--I have pretty much the same things going on as what you wrote down about control and either doing things yourself or allow others to do it. Also, just listening and not trying to fix anything. I'm getting so much better at listening then in my early years where I would talk more. Now I'm working on just listening and keeping my mouth shut.
Also, the necessary goal is being assertive when I'm being dumped on, I'm doing much better than in the past. Now it is time to work on the fine details of where I draw the line in being graceful or blunt.
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Re: The Challenge...Lesson 12
Paisleegreen
But what did you do in order to cope with the stress? What skills do you use to decrease your stress?
General stuff
So I was using a new guided meditation well its actually self-hypnosis and I had alot of heart palpitations and was focusing alot on them and I just decided to just allow them and focus more on the words and it slowly calmed that down and made it a bit easier but still had some heart palpitations. One other thing that helped as well is I imagined being my future self with the confidence and security while listening and that helped me out alot. I thought ok well this negative thought would affect future me, it wouldn't be as bothersome and future me would definately be able to focus on the words and I was able to do so and not be as afraid, it was pretty awesome.
Thought replacement;
1)This isn't working, I'm not feeling enough pain while reading these statements
[Hopeless, Inferior, Discouraged and frustrated] All-Or-Nothing thinking
->I'm not feeling as much pain as I'd like to while reading the statements since my mind is used to running away and numbing pain but I still feel some pain and so it is still somewhat effective and that'll continue to grow the more I do it and my subconscious is still getting the message that the old behavior is causing suffering. My goal right now is to read the statments and to feel some pain and i'm doing that. Changing this habit will take time, it isn't instantaneous and I can get by in life while going through this process of change.
2)I'll never overcome these intense feelings, its impossible
[Hopeless, Depressed, Discouraged] Overgeneralization, Fortune telling
->The feelings can get very intense and it may seem impossible but logically it is very possible, its only my emotions and thoughts that tell me its not. I will deal with one thought at a time. I have what it takes to do this inside of me right now.
3)I can't overcome anxiety or panic attacks
[Depressed, Hopeless, Discouraged] All-or Nothing, Emotional Reasoning
->There are many times when the anxiety and panic seem so intense that I can't do it but I always overcome them weather I face the limitations or run away from them as they do eventually go away, its just that my fear of them keeps them coming back. They aren't dangerous, they may make me look silly and possibly say things that don't make sense but thats ok, life goes on after. So I can choose to run away from them and keep them alive or I can face them and each time they get less and less to the peoint that they don't bother me anymore and then don't come back.
4)I can't visualize the statments good enough, they aren't going to work
[Hopeless, Frustrated, Discouraged, Inferior] All-Or-Nothing
->I'm not visualizing as well as I'd like to and could always get better results with better visualizing but I have to work with what I have not feel sorry for myself and sabottage my efforts for what I don't have. My skills to visualize and feel these statements I'm reading is enough to create change, growth and move me closer to my goals.
5)If I believe I can do something then I'll have to do it right now if i'm tired or not
[Anxious, Afraid, Worried] Should
->Just because I believe I can do something doesn't mean that I have to do it and disregard my needs. It means I know I have what it takes and I can use intelligence to decide if I want to do that thing, when I want to do it and how I can do it and take care of myself at the same time. It isn't going to do me any good to face a limitations if I'm exhausted and having a bad day to begin with but I can still use my skills to support me and make me more prepared by creating calmness. I'm in control and I'm not the same person who disregards how I feel and pushes themselves too hard anymore.
Mike
But what did you do in order to cope with the stress? What skills do you use to decrease your stress?
General stuff
So I was using a new guided meditation well its actually self-hypnosis and I had alot of heart palpitations and was focusing alot on them and I just decided to just allow them and focus more on the words and it slowly calmed that down and made it a bit easier but still had some heart palpitations. One other thing that helped as well is I imagined being my future self with the confidence and security while listening and that helped me out alot. I thought ok well this negative thought would affect future me, it wouldn't be as bothersome and future me would definately be able to focus on the words and I was able to do so and not be as afraid, it was pretty awesome.
Thought replacement;
1)This isn't working, I'm not feeling enough pain while reading these statements
[Hopeless, Inferior, Discouraged and frustrated] All-Or-Nothing thinking
->I'm not feeling as much pain as I'd like to while reading the statements since my mind is used to running away and numbing pain but I still feel some pain and so it is still somewhat effective and that'll continue to grow the more I do it and my subconscious is still getting the message that the old behavior is causing suffering. My goal right now is to read the statments and to feel some pain and i'm doing that. Changing this habit will take time, it isn't instantaneous and I can get by in life while going through this process of change.
2)I'll never overcome these intense feelings, its impossible
[Hopeless, Depressed, Discouraged] Overgeneralization, Fortune telling
->The feelings can get very intense and it may seem impossible but logically it is very possible, its only my emotions and thoughts that tell me its not. I will deal with one thought at a time. I have what it takes to do this inside of me right now.
3)I can't overcome anxiety or panic attacks
[Depressed, Hopeless, Discouraged] All-or Nothing, Emotional Reasoning
->There are many times when the anxiety and panic seem so intense that I can't do it but I always overcome them weather I face the limitations or run away from them as they do eventually go away, its just that my fear of them keeps them coming back. They aren't dangerous, they may make me look silly and possibly say things that don't make sense but thats ok, life goes on after. So I can choose to run away from them and keep them alive or I can face them and each time they get less and less to the peoint that they don't bother me anymore and then don't come back.
4)I can't visualize the statments good enough, they aren't going to work
[Hopeless, Frustrated, Discouraged, Inferior] All-Or-Nothing
->I'm not visualizing as well as I'd like to and could always get better results with better visualizing but I have to work with what I have not feel sorry for myself and sabottage my efforts for what I don't have. My skills to visualize and feel these statements I'm reading is enough to create change, growth and move me closer to my goals.
5)If I believe I can do something then I'll have to do it right now if i'm tired or not
[Anxious, Afraid, Worried] Should
->Just because I believe I can do something doesn't mean that I have to do it and disregard my needs. It means I know I have what it takes and I can use intelligence to decide if I want to do that thing, when I want to do it and how I can do it and take care of myself at the same time. It isn't going to do me any good to face a limitations if I'm exhausted and having a bad day to begin with but I can still use my skills to support me and make me more prepared by creating calmness. I'm in control and I'm not the same person who disregards how I feel and pushes themselves too hard anymore.
Mike
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: The Challenge...Lesson 12
Hi Mike--I've got to be somewhere right now, but thought I would check in. So I'll have to think on your questions, because I probably automatically thought of things during all this process. But haven't thought of all the things I did to remain calm.
I know that during the carpet cleaning episode, I was discussing w/DH our plans for this weekend. It involves my married son and his wife. The occasion is something we've looked forward to, but is happening at a very early time in the morning. I haven't been getting up early in the morning on purpose nor having to get dressed up. So I've been stressing over whether I'll be ready on time. DH sees this as foreign to me and unlike me. I tell him I know...it has only happened since I've had the panic attack and weaned off the anti-depressants I've been taking for years.
A lot of changes have been happening w/ my children and our business and acquaintances, so I feel a lot of stress and worry. Those anticipatory thoughts going on. Well, I better get....CYA Paislee
I know that during the carpet cleaning episode, I was discussing w/DH our plans for this weekend. It involves my married son and his wife. The occasion is something we've looked forward to, but is happening at a very early time in the morning. I haven't been getting up early in the morning on purpose nor having to get dressed up. So I've been stressing over whether I'll be ready on time. DH sees this as foreign to me and unlike me. I tell him I know...it has only happened since I've had the panic attack and weaned off the anti-depressants I've been taking for years.
A lot of changes have been happening w/ my children and our business and acquaintances, so I feel a lot of stress and worry. Those anticipatory thoughts going on. Well, I better get....CYA Paislee
Re: The Challenge...Lesson 12
I'm back, Friday I was hit with the flu! 
I call it the moaning flu, temps. and body aches horrible! I freaked because it was Friday and my doctor has the weekend off, imagine that! lol... I did exactly the wrong thing by asking myself the wrong questions!!! "What is wrong with me" I ran through many possibility's all did not sooth me. Every time I took my temp. it had risen higher! I could not get through to the doc but his nurse took my information and was going to talk to him. She called back and said they called in a px for me. My husband got the meds and when I seen what he gave me I got all filled with anxiety again! Some of the side affects were toren tendons!!! OMG I had not thought of that one! No way was I going to swallow that pill! I must confess after 11 months of no zanax, guess what I did???? I'm glad I did as I was able to relax. Every joint ached and as I relaxed and told myself this must be the flu I got more comfortable and was able to sleep. 
Saturday I called my doctor ( oh I hate to call him this way ) I did... he was such a good guy, he called me back and he wanted to know what was going on, I told him my whole story and he said, darling you have the flu! You do not need antibiotics for this don't take them. Take Motrin and drink lots of gator aid / water, you will feel bad for 3-4 days and it will get better. Ahhhhh.
I was disappointed of where my thinking went, and it seamed with the fever it was harder to get my panic under control, I felt the need to medicate so I did. I'm glad I did,I wish I did not run right to that zone my old habit of thinking. But I did. I may have been able to handle it better if I gave it more time. By time I got the bag of pills that I never have taken before it was over. Earlier, My mother had said you better take them pills soon as you get them because it will take you longer to get better if you don't take them. She also told me about her friend who got pneumonia and was in the hospital! Also my mother had said things in our conversation that caused me doubt. Like hummm this is really strange, I have never heard of anyone getting what you have! You get the weirdest sickness! I think that is why I should stay away from certain people when I know I'm having a hard time. This maybe why I isolate myself at times. Later my neighbor called me and she is a great person who has no problem with being sick, and reinforced what my doc said.
So I survived! LOL....Ok I'll read all the post from the past couple days!
Happy Valentines Day!
I call it the moaning flu, temps. and body aches horrible! I freaked because it was Friday and my doctor has the weekend off, imagine that! lol... I did exactly the wrong thing by asking myself the wrong questions!!! "What is wrong with me" I ran through many possibility's all did not sooth me. Every time I took my temp. it had risen higher! I could not get through to the doc but his nurse took my information and was going to talk to him. She called back and said they called in a px for me. My husband got the meds and when I seen what he gave me I got all filled with anxiety again! Some of the side affects were toren tendons!!! OMG I had not thought of that one! No way was I going to swallow that pill! I must confess after 11 months of no zanax, guess what I did???? I'm glad I did as I was able to relax. Every joint ached and as I relaxed and told myself this must be the flu I got more comfortable and was able to sleep. Saturday I called my doctor ( oh I hate to call him this way ) I did... he was such a good guy, he called me back and he wanted to know what was going on, I told him my whole story and he said, darling you have the flu! You do not need antibiotics for this don't take them. Take Motrin and drink lots of gator aid / water, you will feel bad for 3-4 days and it will get better. Ahhhhh.
I was disappointed of where my thinking went, and it seamed with the fever it was harder to get my panic under control, I felt the need to medicate so I did. I'm glad I did,I wish I did not run right to that zone my old habit of thinking. But I did. I may have been able to handle it better if I gave it more time. By time I got the bag of pills that I never have taken before it was over. Earlier, My mother had said you better take them pills soon as you get them because it will take you longer to get better if you don't take them. She also told me about her friend who got pneumonia and was in the hospital! Also my mother had said things in our conversation that caused me doubt. Like hummm this is really strange, I have never heard of anyone getting what you have! You get the weirdest sickness! I think that is why I should stay away from certain people when I know I'm having a hard time. This maybe why I isolate myself at times. Later my neighbor called me and she is a great person who has no problem with being sick, and reinforced what my doc said.
So I survived! LOL....Ok I'll read all the post from the past couple days!
Happy Valentines Day!
Last edited by THH on Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:49 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Re: The Challenge...Lesson 12
Mike,
Yes I guess I do struggle in social situations. In general I don't, I don't attend due to fear or anything like that, but I do not have a circle of friends that I pal around or do things with. Like in my dog classes I would go and participate and chit chat, but the whole group did many things together and I was not a real part of it. I feel I go to places and everyone likes me well enough but really there is no real history there. So small talk is good, but when that runs out, I just feel the need to go~ I have not ever taken the time, while being married to have any kind of social life due to the fact it would take away from my husband. Maybe a mis belief in there somewhere?
EXCELLENT JOB ON YOU THOUGHT REPLACEMENT!!!!
Yes I guess I do struggle in social situations. In general I don't, I don't attend due to fear or anything like that, but I do not have a circle of friends that I pal around or do things with. Like in my dog classes I would go and participate and chit chat, but the whole group did many things together and I was not a real part of it. I feel I go to places and everyone likes me well enough but really there is no real history there. So small talk is good, but when that runs out, I just feel the need to go~ I have not ever taken the time, while being married to have any kind of social life due to the fact it would take away from my husband. Maybe a mis belief in there somewhere?
EXCELLENT JOB ON YOU THOUGHT REPLACEMENT!!!!
Re: The Challenge...Lesson 12
Paislee,
Oh me too, listening and not reacting is very hard for me. I still am working very hard on it, I hear pain in a voice and I want to jump right in. Its crazy!!!
My neighbor friend has been helping me with using less words! Trying to come up with a few good, well placed words rather than rambling on and people tuning you out. Keeping things simple and listening to key words. Its been kind of fun! ( I have a way to go...LOL...)
What surprised me is what I call blunt, many people don't see as blunt! Then I say wow that would of hurt me!!! It just shows how sensitive we can be!
Oh me too, listening and not reacting is very hard for me. I still am working very hard on it, I hear pain in a voice and I want to jump right in. Its crazy!!!
My neighbor friend has been helping me with using less words! Trying to come up with a few good, well placed words rather than rambling on and people tuning you out. Keeping things simple and listening to key words. Its been kind of fun! ( I have a way to go...LOL...)
What surprised me is what I call blunt, many people don't see as blunt! Then I say wow that would of hurt me!!! It just shows how sensitive we can be!
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: The Challenge...Lesson 12
Hi THH--so glad you are feeling better! Yep, I had the flu two times last year, having had it yet this year so far. I can see why your mother's comments could be upsetting. Usually Mom's know all about the Flu! But I guess if they are aging they think differently. I'm glad that you took a Xanax after not having one for months! That's what they are for. I still have resisted taking just a nibble, but if I really need to settle some muscles or nerves, I will take one.
I've had three experiences with females that my family is helping out. I took a break from two of them to focus on my son and his newlywed wife. We celebrated a month early their one year anniversary. So it was fun and kept my mind off of my sister who I haven't talked to for over a week. The other person is a woman who lost her DH to suicide and needs help in moving out of a house that the bank now owns. She has been very desperate and my husband and children have been there for her. My husband has been taking her phone calls lately because she stays up late into the wee hours of the night and I can't handle not getting enough sleep. We have already started loading up her furnishings in one of our trailers. She is going through a lot of emotions leaving this house and the changes she has to face.
The third female is DS's GF who is leaving her home of origin due to older siblings, mainly, brothers are bullying her. They have negative comments and attitudes and is affecting her. So this affects my son and he is all distraught. So anyway, she was brave last night and stayed at my house along with two other friends to support her. She pretty much is like an abused wife emotionally and the mother isn't helping. This girl has been away at college out of state, but came home to be treated like she is 15. The big brother has threatened my son and it is a pretty sad situation as this girl is a delight and doing all the right things. Its the older siblings that are the dysfunctional ones w/ alcohol problems.
So tonight the GF and her friend are going to move her out of her house and hopefully it will go smoothly and I'll get some sleep. Yippee!
Well, I hope all is well with you guys. Happy Valentine's Day! Although, I only ate a couple hershey kisses. I'm staying away from chocolate the best I can. I can tell a difference when I don't. paislee
I've had three experiences with females that my family is helping out. I took a break from two of them to focus on my son and his newlywed wife. We celebrated a month early their one year anniversary. So it was fun and kept my mind off of my sister who I haven't talked to for over a week. The other person is a woman who lost her DH to suicide and needs help in moving out of a house that the bank now owns. She has been very desperate and my husband and children have been there for her. My husband has been taking her phone calls lately because she stays up late into the wee hours of the night and I can't handle not getting enough sleep. We have already started loading up her furnishings in one of our trailers. She is going through a lot of emotions leaving this house and the changes she has to face.
The third female is DS's GF who is leaving her home of origin due to older siblings, mainly, brothers are bullying her. They have negative comments and attitudes and is affecting her. So this affects my son and he is all distraught. So anyway, she was brave last night and stayed at my house along with two other friends to support her. She pretty much is like an abused wife emotionally and the mother isn't helping. This girl has been away at college out of state, but came home to be treated like she is 15. The big brother has threatened my son and it is a pretty sad situation as this girl is a delight and doing all the right things. Its the older siblings that are the dysfunctional ones w/ alcohol problems.
So tonight the GF and her friend are going to move her out of her house and hopefully it will go smoothly and I'll get some sleep. Yippee!
Well, I hope all is well with you guys. Happy Valentine's Day! Although, I only ate a couple hershey kisses. I'm staying away from chocolate the best I can. I can tell a difference when I don't. paislee
Re: The Challenge...Lesson 12
Paislee,
Thank you, I am getting on the mend. Did you like all my smileys! LOL... Maybe Karen will see them! It will give her a laugh!
I know there is so much drama in my familys lives I can stay entertained for days. It is VERY draining... When I get involved for really long periods of time, I have to take a break. Amazingly how even a fifteen min. away going out to the barn, the mail box, a short walk can put more wind back up in the sails! Its a wee bit of refreshment we have to do for our selves!
Thank you, I am getting on the mend. Did you like all my smileys! LOL... Maybe Karen will see them! It will give her a laugh!
I know there is so much drama in my familys lives I can stay entertained for days. It is VERY draining... When I get involved for really long periods of time, I have to take a break. Amazingly how even a fifteen min. away going out to the barn, the mail box, a short walk can put more wind back up in the sails! Its a wee bit of refreshment we have to do for our selves!
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creamcheesepuff
- Posts: 87
- Joined: Mon Apr 19, 2010 9:37 pm
Re: The Challenge...Lesson 12
I like the old site better, seems to be more work this way......guess it was changed due to those idiots that came on with the porn that time.........UGH!!!!! The good always suffers more for the bad. !!!!!!