Stress Center Peer Support

I have been doing the program now for 4 weeks and everyday is better then the last, I have been staying positive and have been keeping my anxiety at bay for the most part. Today was no different than any other day, I got up fed the baby, had my quiet time when he went down for his morning nap and when he was waking up from his morning nap I left him in his crib so I could jump in to the shower. I get done with my shower,got dressed and I start to blow dry my hair and the next thing I know I hear HELLOOOOO!
Well my son is only 15 mths old and hasn't said hello yet, he was still in his crib watching me, I look up and theres my niece walking into my bedroom. Now I didn't know she was coming over and in the past few months I do not like having any company, I have a hard time with dealing with people being over so I just stopped inviting people. If I wanna see someone I make arrangements to go see them. She wasn't here 60 seconds and my heart started racing and beating hard and I started having a hard time catching my breath. I was in full blown anxiety mode and I don't understand how her being here could do that to me just like that. She is my husbands niece and his family are the kind of people who don't call they just invite them selves over and will walk in without knocking. I wasn't mad she was here I just wasn't expecting it and I do not understand why this would freak me out like it did. This anxiety lasted most of this day and I am just now starting to calm down. I have done my breathing and thought positive thoughts and although it has helped it doesn't explain why it happened in the first place. It says we should try to pay attention to our anxiety triggers but I don't get this one and don't know how to correct it so it doesn't happen again? Anyone ever have this happen? Just looking for some input, any would be helpful... Thx, Chrissie

rcimly,

Ok. First of all, try to think about your thoughts before your niece arrived at your house. These thoughts could have even been from the night before. Unfortunately, our bodies release small amounts of adrenaline and cortisol everytime we have a negative thought. Therefore, as the day progresses, negative, worrisome, obsessive thoughts arive, and BAM...Panic attack city.

Secondly, I think our bodies are so use to being so hypervigilant, that any tiny bit of stimuli (especially when you least expect it) can send us into a panic attack. Remeber, you must have been having some negative thoughts this morning.

It is ok. It is just anxiety. We all have bad days. Do not let this get you down, pick yourself up. Tomorrow is a new day. Take care.

I know with my anxiety I like to have things planned and controlled as much as possible. I need to know where I am going, what's going on for the day, who do I need to call, who's coming over etc... If something disrupts my plan I get very anxious.

Maybe because you weren't expecting your niece it caused you to panic. Like you said you have stopped inviting people over because you have a hard time dealing with it so her surprise visit could have caused it.

It's just a bad moment, don't let it get you down.

Hi Chrissie,

Do you feel that you may have become anxious because you don't like people walking in to visit in that way? Maybe you feel that this intrudes on your privacy and space? And since this is an approved of way of visiting with your husbands family and you like them, it's hard to tell them not to do that and they might take it the wrong way? Perhaps some of your anxiety is about feeling helpless to change that pattern.

If I were in your situation, I'd start by locking the door. Then at the very least they'd have to ring the doorbell or knock.

As you gain more confidence perhaps you could explain that you are so happy to see them but you are quite busy and have things to do. Then make a date to get together.

Sometimes it's really hard to get your point across gracefully. Once or twice in frustration when I couldn't get off of the phone politely no matter how hard I tried, I quietly opened the front door and rang my own doorbell.....

It was just a little lapse in your progress, you sound like you are doing very well with the program

Jeri

Sometimes I don't think we know what causes the anxiety ... it just is there because that is who we are and we are learning about ourselves. Maybe you will know the next time. When we don't have an answer then let it go....the answer will come.

That would upset me too!! I know for me, like GI822, I get upset when I am not in control for the day. I like to know what is going on for every minute and if something changes, I have problems. This sounds like the surprise of your niece and the control factor have something to do with the anxiety. Don't dwell on it, it sounds like you are doing great in the program and should give yourself some more credit! Maybe next time you could listen to your relaxation tape as soon as you feel the anxiety. Good luck!!

It sounds like you just got startled. I think that our bodies get used to livng in a "high strung" mode and it is easier to startle them and to calm them down.

I would have reacted the exact same way you did. And...I would have stressed over why it takes me so long to calm down after I get startled.

On that last post I meant to say that it is easier to startle ourselves and HARDER to calm ourselves down.