Stress Center Peer Support

Here's my situation...

It began sometime ago, when I was watching MSNBC. There was a special report on about the sex slave industry in America. I was curious, so I watched it, thinking for some reason I could stomach it. I was wrong, of course--I kept thinking long afterwards about how profoundly these poor girls' lives have been affected, how much they've lost, how devastated they must be. And it made me really depressed.

I was good about holding back the tears about it, though. After all, it was the holidays.

But then this past Sunday, I saw this epidode of "Without a Trace," on which there was this awful rape scene! Even though I couldn't see what was happening to the victim, I knew he was humping down on her really quick and hard because it made the room shake and I could hear her screams and cries. All the rapist did was laugh. It was very painful to watch. I tried to go on to other things after the show ended, but I couldn't. I kept seeing that shaking room and hearing the woman--her name was "Louisa"--crying. I lay in bed and cried myself for a while, long after the show was over.

I know I shouldn't watch these sorts of things, especially after going through the program, and knowing how sensitive I am. I just hate things like this, and I guess I feel I have to watch this in order to try to understand why.

I also feel kind of silly because I'll be 27 in a month, and I shouldn't be crying over some TV show. But I know that these things happen in real life all the time, and it breaks my heart.

I came here today because right now I can't talk to anyone else about it. It's driving me crazy and I don't know what to do...

Sis, its some times very hard for us to see the tragedy of others in the world when we are sensitive like this. When I was going through the program back in 2000, I couldnt stomach domestice abuse, rape, commercials on our brothas and sistas in Africa and Central America. There was alot I couldnt emotional just get through.

So for now, you have to make sure you "deliberately" watch things that will give you humor, inspiration, TEARS of joy.

Not trying to get personal...but its not pulling some personal experiences out the closet right?

Take care Sis. I will try to check on you later.

No, I was never raped, thank God. But it does scare me, all the time. Especially since I work nights, and have to walk alone to the bus stop to get to work.

I was attacked nearly five years ago, and while it went no further than a mugging, I knew what he did want from me. (My bus came and scared him off, which is why it went no further.) After that, I had started catching earlier buses to work, and it took three years before I could once again have the courage to catch the bus after 10:00. But even now, it still scares me, and I guess seeing someone else go through it makes it worse.

What hurts more is that I can't do anything personally to stop it. The example I gave of the rape victim, of course, is fictional, but as I said before, these things do happen in reality.