Stress Center Peer Support

Hello to all. My name is Carson and let me say this forum has made me realize that I am not alone in this fight for a sound mind and mental stability.

Allow me to give a brief description of a typical day with me. Maybe someone here can offer some words of comfort.

I wake up in the morning with my heart beating like its sick, kathomp..kathomp-thomp...kathomp-thomp-thomp. I am stressed from the moment my eyes open. I run and grab my blood pressure machine (which I purchased because I just knew I had heart trouble), check it and guess what, its 115/68 perfect. Well it's not my heart, then what is it thats making me feel all jittery, uneasy, panicky, unable to concentrate on one thing. My vision sucks, because I constantly stare. Cause staring helps me stay in the prison of my mind so I can really concentrate about my symptoms and "figure out" whats happening to me.

I shower, shave, kiss my wife and head on out to work. By the way is a place where I have had about 30 panic attacks in the last 3 months. So I'm now wondering if today will be the day I break my record of six attacks in one day. Who's going to look at me funny this time, what if this is the big one and I really will die. What if its my heart, maybe my brain is the problem. Cause things are all of a sudden heavy to lift now with anxiety.

I pull in to work, go in and oh my God my heart rate sure is getting fast, ok breath, in and out. Crap its getting faster, now its beating weird like this morning. I scream on the inside because I'm a man and we should be able to conquer these minor "mental" problems. God, I just have to call someone to get my mind off of the trauma. Grab phone, call wife, hands shaky and sweaty. Hello honey, I cant make complete sentences cause my mind has checked out and its now where to be found, its running around like a chicken with its head chopped off. My wife calms me down the first 10 times this happnens, but by the end of the day, she tired and like just get over it, it hasnt killed you yet.

I get off go home, to my place of rest. Im drained, tired and now my heart rate is toooooo sloooooowwww. Then it all starts over until I pass out from exhaustion.

Sound like anyone else's life.

Before anxiety I was a strong and confident man with the ability to lead my family, my employees and be the strong one for many of my friends and family, but now I'm completely lost.

Well thanks for letting me rate and please someone let me know I AM NOT KRAZZZZZYYYY!!!

Carson

hi,
have walked in your shoes before many times until i got too where i am now. i changed the way that i thought and instead of waking up in the morning and waiting for my heart to beat fast. i got up and went in the bath room an showered and shavend and did not think of what if my heart beat fast and if it does then it will slow down when i get off work. so how does yourheart know that you are off work. are you less stressed.that is somethingto think about. how does your heart of ppanic or anxiety feel when you are home on the weekend.oplay a sneak attack.do notlet it know when you are off or working. change the way that you do things. make it think you are home when you are at work. if you can do it and are home then take that to work with you.makes sense to me.
if you are in the program get the skills and tools that you need to go on your journey to find peace and rest.
read my profile and it willfill you in on where i was and where i am now.kno that you can get above this and its your time to shine.take are and good luck and be blessed.
don
IF I CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU AND OTHERS AS WELL.ONLY YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Hi Carson, I feel exactly the same way everyday. I'm always waiting for the next bout of pain or my heart to race and then I swear that I'm dying. By the end of the day I am so exhausted that I just want to go home and go to bed. But going to bed scares me because what if I don't wake up?
I never thought of the staring thing. I am always staring out in space not really focusing on anything and I think that my eyesight has gotten worse. Of course this means I have to terminal disease too.
I'm only on lesson 1 but I'm starting to tell my self when I get these feelings that its just anxiety and that I'm not the only one with these symptoms. Hopefully soon we both will be able to go about our day with out thinking that we are going to die. Best of luck to you!