Stress Center Peer Support

Alone.

Everywhere I go, I feel like a leech. I am constantly in need of support, reassurance, acceptance, love... I have a board of very close-knit women that I frequent -and have been frequenting- for more than two years now. But I just feel like...like a sore thumb right now. I feel paranoid that every post I make, people are rolling their eyes saying "Oh what NOW, Cece?" I feel like I am sucking the life out of everyone around me, and it being unintentional gives me no solace.

I feel like such a worthless, hopeless piece of crap right now. Just a self-loathing piece of trash.

Does life get better? Will I ever feel normal again? Will I always be this self-loathing, wretched failure? Am I destined to be the old woman with a million kids instead of a million cats (3 of my children were conceived on birth control)?

My mind just races. Will I ever get married? Will I ever be loved unconditionally? Am I always going to be the 'victim', the 'leech', the 'failure', the 'outcast' of family and friends?

I want the panic to stop. I want the physical symptoms to go away. I want my life back. I want to be happy. My life wasnt supposed to be this way. I wasnt supposed to be a single mother of 4 without a degree. What happened?

And now that I've leeched onto y'all, I will end this pity party here. Sorry this was so long. I just dont know where else to go. This is really my last hope. I am going to buy the program on Monday. God help me if it doesnt help me help myself.

((((((((((((((((Cece))))))))))))))))
That was a big hug sweetie. You know I dont know you but I care about you. I too feel like I always need support and reassurance. Seriously. I know that feeling. Pleas be kind to yourself. Youre not trash!!! You are a sensitive person. You are unique!! You are special. Yes life will get better. Life doesn't have a plan for us. It is what it is and It is not fair most of the time but we have to work with what we have. Im glad youre getting the program. It will help. Do it everyday and you'll get better. The panic and your self esteem will get better. The program teaches how. Dont think of yourself as a leech. I post on here all the time so if anything I am Remember you dont always have tp believe what you feel. truth vs feelings a friend told me. You feel like youre hopeless but i know youre not. you will get better!!!

Cece, you get this program, you are ready, I can tell. We are going to be watching for your progress through the Sessions. Kiddo, this program really works, if you work it. I have been a therapist for 30+ years, and believe me. This one really does work. I want you to keep a copy of this post, and when you get to Session Three, you make a note of all this negative Self Talk. You can do it. Kind regards, Pecos.

My heart goes out to you Cece. Been there, done that and no turning back. Well, that's not true because one of the last lessons is "growth spurts" so we will always be growing till the day we die. Just as a kid not liking growing pains so setbacks (really called "growth spurts) are not pleasant. You will do fine. I too will be watching for your posts and your growth. Prayers to you Cece.

Hi Cece,
Please, please, please go through with buying the program. I bought the program at a super low point and, like Pecos said, was sooooo ready for a change. It works!!! If you do what they say, it really does work. I am on Sesson 7 now and my husband cannot believe the difference in me. Faithfully doing the lesson, the relaxation session, and the forum kept my "blessedly busy" during that low point, and I started to feel better pretty quickly. Now I do it every night after work and faithfully on the weekends, too. When we went out of town, I brought all my stuff and did the program without interruption, too. It works!
I will be thinking about and praying for you and will watch for your success posts:)
Darb

cece,
Your post described my life 5 years ago. What I want to tell you and the advice I am going to give you is not inteneded to be judgemental (as others will say it is), nor is it condemning. The simple truth is that the advice is real. Your post brings flashbacks to my life. there was a time that I felt like there were no answers and i couldn't see the light at the end...I was in a pretty dark place. I had bizzare thoughts and physical symptoms. I feared that my life would never get back on track. I had myself convinced that this was all there was left for me.

There is no other way to say this...Jesus saved my life...both physically and spiritually. I began to surrender my life to Jesus and He began to do an absolute miracle in my life. I began to see life differently. Most of all I began to see life without fear, eventhough I was still having those fearful anxiety thoughts and feelings. I refused to let them scare me anymore. Slowly (and yes it is a slow process) Jesus began to give me my life back. I dived into His Word and He started showing me truth about how much He loves me UNCONDITIONALLY. Cece, do not look for unconditional love from a person. Seek it in Christ...He is the only one who will not fail you. Does this mean that there is not a good man out there for you? Absolutely not!! It means that the BEST man for you is Jesus first and foremost. This all may sound weird and wacky to you but it's the truth. Cry out to Jesus and ask Him to save you. He will, I promise...better yet He promises.

If you EVER need to talk, give me your email address and I or my wife would be honored to love you throuh this. Remember, you're not going to get pep talks from us, just words of encouragement, truth, and support.

If you delete this andignore it...thats fine also. we all have choices to make. I will pray for you regardless. Feel good today, cece. God has created you as you are. You have just gotten of the track that He has in mind for you...join the club!! The answer is simple. Get on the path that He specifically designed for you and you will find peace. Does that mean instant washed away panic...no. But it means that the strength to endure is guaranteed.

Romans 10:9-10