Stress Center Peer Support

Hello everyone,

it's been a while since my last post as I've been trying to work things out on my own using the skills learned in the program but I am at a roads end. Here is the thing. I have been working at my current job for about 8 months, and it has been very stressful as I work with a group of individuals who are not team oriented. I feel like the outsider as that how I am treated. I am a professional yet skill my skills and competency are always questioned leading me to second quess myself. I am in a contract for one year and I felt like leaving within the first three months. I work very hard when I am at work often working over-time. There have been quite a few episodes where I have had to call in sick because I am feeling so stressed. The job is not difficult and it pays very well but the people I work with are unreal and at times very rude. Chiaos is often noted when it's not needed people make rude comments that are not professional. They are not dealth with as they have worked there for many years. Therefore rude offensive behaviour is accepted to the point where I was told well thats the way things are done around her just ignore it. I am in a pickle because my income is more than my husband and we are in the process of buying our first home and without my income he would not beable to handle the bills. I feel like the burden is on me to make ends meet, and I hate this position, so I am often worrying and having negative thoughts. It's really bad my husbond has 2 children from a previous relationship whom he takes really good care of. But he often says he would like more kids and I refuse as I feel the burden on me will only increase. I love my husband but him having children at a young age and not securing his financial future has put us in a negative position and yes, I could have married someone else but he is the one I fell in love with. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to stay friends, as I do not have the option of staying home and raising our children should we ever have any. He says that people on less salary raise children but I would want the best for my kids. I can't help but think that we will be supporting his kids for the rest of our lives so how can we ever afford to support our children should we have any. I feel that he married well but I settled and it causing me so much sadness as now I pay majority of the bills and the down payment for house I will also be paying the majority and I want to leave my job but then all our dreams will have to be put on hold. Thanks I really needed to get that off my chest.

I'm glad you got it all out. It always feels better.
I used to make more than my ex husband and all the extras fell on my lap leaving me in huge credit card debt when I left b/c of wanting to do for the kids and all the medical bills.
I stay at home with my youngest now. My husband prefers it that way. He makes well but my income could let us have bigger and better things. We all decided to live a simplier life. We live in a trailer that will be paid for in five years. We don't plan on involving our baby in every activity imagineable like we did my first two kids. We eat at home every night and wear hand me down clothes. There are sacrifices but we are happy this way. I can always go back to work when the baby is in school.

Let’s look at the positive side. You have someone who loves you. Did you marry him for him or his money? If you all put your money together in one pot and you get equal amount of spending money, education money, etc... Remember marriage is about partnership. Don’t have an I problem. See clearly. And see you and him or us. You have what most women want a man who loves them unconditional. He can't be punished for his past. You married him with the kids so you accepted it so don't down him for it. Give him support and credit for trying. You say he is a good father and loves you that is wealth a million dollars. So now does he make enough? I could imagine it could be hard if you focus on material things and not the positive. Maybe look into a home business or a new job for both of you. Like Luther says, “A house is not a home, if there is nobody to share it with.”

Thanks so much for your kind words. Sometimes we get caught-up in gaining material wealth that we forget whats really important which is being with the ones we love.

You have mentioned several things that are positives and surrounded them with negatives regarding your work. I know it is so very hard to see positives when we appear to be bombarded with negatives. We are typically negative thinkers and that is truly why we have some of our issues. First off, you have a source of income. That is such a blessing. Even if the enviroment stinks. You can put food on the table.
I know you don't like going to your job due to the negative atmosphere of your 'peers'. I can totally relate. My job has negatives each day (scandals with our management) But really try to see how you are not like the others. You are the sane one with class. Your 1 year commitment is almost up, is it not. Look forward to a change.
Also, Like Cee said you have someone in your life who loves you and whom you love. That is somuch more than alot of folks have. Talking is really the key. You have to let him know how you feel. Communication is so helpful.