Pls, pls - don't be afraid to start this wonderful program. It may sound contrite, but that old saying is so true, "
There's nothing to fear, but fear itself." Allow your desire to "feel better" + "healthier" + stronger = emotionally / mentally/ physically" to over-ride any apprehension @ starting this program & changing.
THIS PROGRAM WORKS! 4 yrs ago, I was officially diagnosed w/ : anxiety disorder + panic attacks + ptsd (fr 3 different things) + severe sleep deprivation. Not knowing what this "thing" was that had befallen me, I sought help. I was informed by 2 different medical professionals (w/ 1 being a psychiatrist w 30+ yrs experience) that I was 1 of the worst cases they both had seen. This was both frightening & intimidating. Mind you, I had prided myself on my independant & self sufficient nature. I had lived on my own 10 yrs b/4 I had gotten married + worke F.T. on Wall Street NYC + put myself through college @ nite & graduated w/ a 3.9 g.p.a. I went fr
THAT WOMAN, to someone totally dependant on her husband & emotionally dependant on ANYONE willing to give me the time of day. My case was so severe, I became PHYSICALLY unable to work + required very intensive & weekly psychiatric therapy + medicine (anxiety & 2 sleep aids). I was later informed by my former psychiatrist that I was
literally, 2 steps away fr a psych hospital .
Sure, I had gone through some things in childhood - but I had assumed I survived it - done w/ so to speak. I never realized the impact on me emotionally + most importantly, the negative behaviors I had created - some in part as a means of LIVING & SURVIVING. Thinking & feeling were never options for me. That concept was soooooooooo beyond me that when I started this journey & it was explained to me, I literally went "huh?" hahaha
My journey started b/4 my doing Lucinda's program. It started, as mentioned, w/ therapy. We consolidated 20+ yrs of TRAUMA into 20 mths -it was like a marathon ONE BIG OPRAH MOMENT festival, hahahahh. I can laugh now, thank goodness, @ it all. It wasn't funny back then. I came to find out - to see w/ my own eyes + understand w/ my own mind + feel w/ my own heart, both: how many negative/surpressed emotions I had inside. Then, as a result of my not knowing thats what I was doing, I created some serious & negative LEARNED BEHAVIORS around them. Kind of like living in a state of being, being stuck & unable to move forward & let go. I wasn't living in the NOW as the woman LENORE, no sadly. Rather, I was living in the past, as the sum total of all the unfortunate things I had experienced. I was in emotional pain, I couldn't prior feel - cause that would have forced me to admit the truth of things. My soul's eye was so clouded by those things, I was unable to SEE & accept responsibility for
MYSELF. I was a bitter woman - venumous even w/o exageration. I was bitter - defiant in my belief that I should hold on to those terrible emotions cause I was RIGHT. The thing was, the way I was
thinking + acting + reacting + stressing was NOT what was best for me. I didn't feel good & trust you me, my quality of life was terrible.
ANXIETY DISORDER made me stop + pay attn + become aware. Therapy afforded me the opportunity to rid myself of unnecessary excess baggage. So that, 1 glorius day back in
NOV. 2006 I literally said to myself, "Lenore, there some things about you that just need to change." That is when I started Lucinda's program.
From the GET GO, Lucinda was dead on. So much so, I swore that lady fr Ohio just knew me. Oh sure, I was stubborn @ first - "what does she know" or "I had it worse" or "that doesn't apply to me" or "this isn't gonna help me". So, in an ignorant way - a tiny bit, I started her program to prove her wrong - imagine me, hahahah. My motivation every step of the way was my wanting to FEEL BETTER. I felt like I was in the pits of emotional hell + looking Satan in the face (who was laughing @ me ) & having the courage & conviction to trust me & our God - that the way I was going wasn't working. That the path of least resistance was not the one that was going to get me out of this existence I was living.
I realized, as brilliantly conveyed in Pecks book THE ROAD LESS TRAVELEDTHAT in order for me to recover fully, I needed to FACE MY PAST + FACE MYSELF + FEEL THE PAIN NECESSARY FOR CHANGE TO HAPPEN.
Lucinda helped me w/ all that & a bag of chips, hahaha. All possible, via her brilliant program.
I was 36/37 when anxiety disorder triggered. In addition, I was quite stubborn & defiantly set in my ways - This negative way of being had been w/ me all them yrs - I just "knew I was right" too many of the times. In addition, I was afraid of changing, because I was afraid to let go. I was afraid to welcome self acceptance & responsibility. You see, I had often blamed
he/she/they/them/her/him. If I stopped doing that - I would have to look towards myself - I was afraid of that. Then, add to that my lack of self esteem - I didn't think I had what it takes so it was just easier blaming someone else, if I make sense.
I followed her program, STRICTLY AS INSTRUCTED. I made her program & all respective HOMEWORK, etc -
a priority in my life. I'd say to my hubby, @ nite watching tv "ok hun, I'm going to the waterfalls to do relaxation". Every little bit I went, the better I felt - honest & cross my heart. It was like having an emotional equivalent headache & Lucinda's teachings/program was the LIQUID GEL ADVIL, hahahahahha
So, I said, "wow this is working". Heck, I was so desperate for relief, I just kept going. I allowed myself to become eveloped in the program. I branched out + positive books + other literature on anxiety disorder - I began to become informed & empowered - that is WHEN the best part started. You see, I did start to change.
I did everything in my power to recover. Yes, for me, that initially included therapy - I attended for 3 3/4 yrs & never missed 1 scheduled session + journaling(I initiated on my own to get myself comfortable w/ what I was thinking & feeling - then to FEEL THEM + reading anything I could get my hands on to learn about this disorder + read Lucinda's forum & participate + Lucinda's program + eating healthier + exercising, etc.
Fast forward 4 yrs later, I am recovered. I am not on any meds + I graduated therapy + I am working for almost 1 YEAR NOW - successfuly + I have lost 71lbs & 17 clothing sizes via my membership w/WEIGHT WATCHERS + I am living life in ways I never have. I am a genuine sense of peace & giddiness about me. No, not just cause I am recovered fr anxiety & depression. Moreso, I have forgiven + moved on + let go + learned to love myself + live in the precious present moment - gosh, I really can hear them birds sing now + I dance - & I don't care if I'm even in the middle of a grocery store - If I feel the need to move it a little - even if its by the can of corn, I'm moving it.
I was given a 2nd chance @ life again: I was given the means to get the help I needed + the help itself - including Lucinda's fabulous program + my husband + our family/friends + the fabulous friends I met here, on this site who have touched my heart & soul in ways I never thought possible. Many folks don't get that chance - I, among many, were - including you
MLWS. Sieze it hun - grab the bull by the horns & don't you let go. You have what it takes in you - you already started your journey cause not only did you purchase the program - you reach out by posting on this very forum. See the person God sees in you. Become the change you want to see & feel w/ in yourself via the actions & choices you will make 1 day @ a time + 1 action @ a time + 1 reaction @ a time, etc. You so are worth the effort. I know you can & will do it.
Your friend,
LENORE