Stress Center Peer Support

I'm so stupid and humiliated and angry at myself for something I did today. I need to preface this by sharing my phobia for divulging personal information. It makes me super anxious to give out my name, phone number, address, etc. to strangers. I hate it and avoid it at all costs. It also makes me angry when people demand this info from me, especially when I feel it's not necessary. I feel violated and exposed, and like if people know my name they'll then search me out online, find out where I live, learn all about me, stalk me, etc.

I had an appointment somewhere today. I got a bad vibe from the place the moment I walked in.
The people working there seemed mean, unfriendly and creeped me out. They wanted a lot of personal information--and it wasn't a doctor's office. I filled out one sheet and just couldn't go through with the rest. I wasn't paying with insurance and didn't want to get junk mail.

The women behind the desk kept insisting and staring at me. I just couldn't go through with it. I felt this horrible, panicked feeling well up inside me. I felt trapped in a dangerous place and like I needed to run.

I felt like I had no other option. I mumbled an apology and left, but not before I heard them making fun of me.

I'm such an idiot for doing that. I hate myself for being such a freak. Why can't I just go along with what people want me to do? Why are my emotions magnified 1,000,000,000,000 times and take over all rational thought?

I've always trusted my intuition and I think it's important to. But now I don't know if my anxiety is clouding the intuition that I want to rely on.

I'm so stupid. What is wrong with me? I've never ever heard of anyone else doing anything like this. Has anyone here? I'm so embarrassed.

My husband is the same way. He had a terrible childhood, and being disabled has spent most of his life "on-line". He is an extremely paranoid person especially when it comes to personal info since he is very aware of things like identity theft. Like with social security numbers. The old cards actually stated "not for identification" yet, this is the number everyone asks for. Unless its a place like a bank, or the DMV or for taxes, you are not required to give this number.

"In response to growing concerns over the accumulation of massive amounts of personal information, Congress passed the Privacy Act of 1974. Among other things, this Act makes it unlawful for a governmental agency to deny a right, benefit, or privilege merely because the individual refuses to disclose his SSN.
Section 7 of the Privacy Act further provides that any agency requesting an individual to disclose his SSN must "inform that individual whether that disclosure is mandatory or voluntary, by what statutory authority such number is solicited, and what uses will be made of it."

"How to Protect Your SSN

* Don't give out your SSN. Try to bargain with businesses that request it by giving an alternative identifier, such as a driver's license number.
* Robert Ellis Smith, editor of the Privacy Journal, has written an article on SSN alternatives that large organizations can use.
* The Social Security Administration recommends that you should ask the following questions before releasing the SSN:
o Why your number is needed;
o How your number will be used;
o What happens if you refuse; and
o What law requires you to give your number.

While this addresses the SSN specifically, I would use the same cautions whenever personal info is given. Its your information. You have the right to say who gets it and who doesn't. You just have to weigh the factors. If you get a bad vibe, trust your instincts. Don't let the anxiety over it cause them to intimidate you. You can always go someplace else. And don't worry about being a 'freak'. My husband considers that a compliment. LOL

Thank you so much for your reply, Rhasslariel. I know that I need to get over my paranoia but at the same time it's important to be vigilant about personal information.

Leda,

Please try and do what the program says to do. You are being disrespectful to yourself by giving yourself labels like "freak", "idiot", and "stupid". Do you not remember what Lesson 1 said about correcting this when you do this? It's on page xii, Day 5.

It's okay to be who you are, not who others want you to be. Accept yourself as you are and please stop beating yourself up, calling yourself abusive names, and thinking negatively towards yourself. This only serves to keep you locked into anxiety/depression and low self esteem. It's a choice, you can do this.

Remember what the program says about not everybody liking us? So what if they make fun. That is their problem, don't make it yours. Love and accept yourself for who you are, everything, strengths and weaknesses. WE all have them. You aren't some "special" case, worse than everybody else.

Leda..Someone I very much respect once told me something I have always remembered. He said....information is power...don't give it away.
I don't judge you for your proclivity towards guarding your personal information. I think it's wise...Charlie A