Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 5:43 pm
One morning around 8 years ago, while in the panic attack mode, my hubby asked me to follow him about 7 miles to some place in the boondocks!!!
Some guy had gotten drunk the night before, and needed my hubby to come to his rescue!!! He had landed himself in a mud-hole, and couldn't get himself out of it!!! Guess who, got volunteered to take my hubby to rescue this dude??? Poor little old panicky-attacky me!!!
I was terrified out of my mind!!! Here my hubby was asking me to do the simplest thing, and I couldn't have been more terrified, if he had a loaded gun to my head!!!
Nor, was I about to tell him that I was too scared to drive 7 little miles. Come on-- we live in a really small community!!! He would have thought I had totally lost it!!!
So, here I go driving the 7 miles, trying my best to act as normal as possible, praying and hoping that he didn't pick up on my fear!!! All the while, trembling from head to toe!!! Like most guys, he just didn't seem to notice...LOL.
It seemed like ages, but, we finally reached our destination, in one piece. My hubby got out, and finally got this dude's vehicle out of the mud-hole, and guess who got volunteered to drive home alone??? Poor little old panicky-attacky me!!! My hubby had to drive this guys vehicle to our place!!! And, he had some pit stop to make, at that!!!
Never in a million years, would I have ever allowed my hubby to see my fear. So, I played my calm and collected little role, as usual!!!
Understand...I never drove unless I felt I absolutely had no choice in the matter. Agoraphobic me, was a home-body!!! Totally housebound!!!
Since, the full-blown panic attack had already begun, I hurriedly started my vehicle, and began what seemed like my long journey home.
I am surprised the steering wheel made it through all that tight-gripping!!! My sweaty, cold, clammy hands were glued to it!!! My heart was pounding and I felt really faint. I was feeling really disoriented, and began thinking, "What if I forget how to get out of this place?"
My "what if" and negative thinking further added fuel to my already full-blown panic attack. Yes, it was mine. I owned it...LOL...
I remember using people's homes as landmarks. As I mentioned earlier, we live in a small community. In our small community, everyone knows everyone.
I was in the midst of this full-blown panic attack, and I was scared out of my wits!!!
I thought surely I was having a heart attack. I was rehearsing my funeral in my mind!!!
I could feel my racing heart pounding sooo hard, and I could, also, feel it skipping beats, and what seemed like a lot of beats to me!!! I was having head rushes...All the blood would feel like it was rushing to my head, then, from my head...I just knew that I was going to faint any time!!!
The more I focused on these symptoms, the worse I felt!!! I would try and distract myself, but, to no avail. I was driving really fast, thinking about stopping at this house, or maybe the next house..on and on etc...Of course, I hammered on, too terrified to stop!!! All I wanted to see was home and fast...My safe haven!!!
I, honestly, could not believe that I had actually made it home alive!!! I was trembling from head to toe, and was in tears!!!
I did every bit of the above to my own self!!! Yes..I am guilty as charged!!!! I lived a life of total fear, and I did that by the negative, scary thoughts which I entertained daily!!!
This was just one of the many, many, times I freaked totally out in this manner!!! It was a daily thing for me.
I lived a life of gloom and doom, and I did every bit of it to my own self!!!!
You guys have the keys in your hands. All you have to do is use these keys.
It is kinda like owning a vehicle. You own that vehicle, and you may know everything about it, but, unless you take the keys which are in your hands, and drive it, what good is that vehicle doing you just sitting there???
Same way with the program...You have the keys right in your hands, now, all you need to do is use the program, and learn the skills.
Once these skills are learned, please take action, what use are the skills to you just lying dormat there in your memory???
When I held the program in my hands. I held a precious gift. When I learned the skills, I had the keys in my hands. When I took action, I used the keys to overcome agoraphobia, panic attacks, and depression!!!
All of this does seem like some dream...Yet, it was only 6 years ago!!! My life has changed for the better more than I could ever begin to tell you!!!
So..do the program, use the skills, and take action!!!! If I can do it, anyone can!!! God Bless!!!
Some guy had gotten drunk the night before, and needed my hubby to come to his rescue!!! He had landed himself in a mud-hole, and couldn't get himself out of it!!! Guess who, got volunteered to take my hubby to rescue this dude??? Poor little old panicky-attacky me!!!
I was terrified out of my mind!!! Here my hubby was asking me to do the simplest thing, and I couldn't have been more terrified, if he had a loaded gun to my head!!!
Nor, was I about to tell him that I was too scared to drive 7 little miles. Come on-- we live in a really small community!!! He would have thought I had totally lost it!!!
So, here I go driving the 7 miles, trying my best to act as normal as possible, praying and hoping that he didn't pick up on my fear!!! All the while, trembling from head to toe!!! Like most guys, he just didn't seem to notice...LOL.
It seemed like ages, but, we finally reached our destination, in one piece. My hubby got out, and finally got this dude's vehicle out of the mud-hole, and guess who got volunteered to drive home alone??? Poor little old panicky-attacky me!!! My hubby had to drive this guys vehicle to our place!!! And, he had some pit stop to make, at that!!!
Never in a million years, would I have ever allowed my hubby to see my fear. So, I played my calm and collected little role, as usual!!!
Understand...I never drove unless I felt I absolutely had no choice in the matter. Agoraphobic me, was a home-body!!! Totally housebound!!!
Since, the full-blown panic attack had already begun, I hurriedly started my vehicle, and began what seemed like my long journey home.
I am surprised the steering wheel made it through all that tight-gripping!!! My sweaty, cold, clammy hands were glued to it!!! My heart was pounding and I felt really faint. I was feeling really disoriented, and began thinking, "What if I forget how to get out of this place?"
My "what if" and negative thinking further added fuel to my already full-blown panic attack. Yes, it was mine. I owned it...LOL...
I remember using people's homes as landmarks. As I mentioned earlier, we live in a small community. In our small community, everyone knows everyone.
I was in the midst of this full-blown panic attack, and I was scared out of my wits!!!
I thought surely I was having a heart attack. I was rehearsing my funeral in my mind!!!
I could feel my racing heart pounding sooo hard, and I could, also, feel it skipping beats, and what seemed like a lot of beats to me!!! I was having head rushes...All the blood would feel like it was rushing to my head, then, from my head...I just knew that I was going to faint any time!!!
The more I focused on these symptoms, the worse I felt!!! I would try and distract myself, but, to no avail. I was driving really fast, thinking about stopping at this house, or maybe the next house..on and on etc...Of course, I hammered on, too terrified to stop!!! All I wanted to see was home and fast...My safe haven!!!
I, honestly, could not believe that I had actually made it home alive!!! I was trembling from head to toe, and was in tears!!!
I did every bit of the above to my own self!!! Yes..I am guilty as charged!!!! I lived a life of total fear, and I did that by the negative, scary thoughts which I entertained daily!!!
This was just one of the many, many, times I freaked totally out in this manner!!! It was a daily thing for me.
I lived a life of gloom and doom, and I did every bit of it to my own self!!!!
You guys have the keys in your hands. All you have to do is use these keys.
It is kinda like owning a vehicle. You own that vehicle, and you may know everything about it, but, unless you take the keys which are in your hands, and drive it, what good is that vehicle doing you just sitting there???
Same way with the program...You have the keys right in your hands, now, all you need to do is use the program, and learn the skills.
Once these skills are learned, please take action, what use are the skills to you just lying dormat there in your memory???
When I held the program in my hands. I held a precious gift. When I learned the skills, I had the keys in my hands. When I took action, I used the keys to overcome agoraphobia, panic attacks, and depression!!!
All of this does seem like some dream...Yet, it was only 6 years ago!!! My life has changed for the better more than I could ever begin to tell you!!!
So..do the program, use the skills, and take action!!!! If I can do it, anyone can!!! God Bless!!!
