Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 2:55 pm
Hey everybody...this is Jason Walker. For some reason my old login ID and password stopped working and no one could seem to figure out why. So, I had to create a new one. This is it. I'm not going to post as much here anymore. I'm going to keep most of my thoughts on my blog: http://jwalkergs.wordpress.com/ I would prefer you guys read me there. But, occasionally I will post something here.
There was a major victory in my battle with anxiety today!! I had to go to Tyler (about 50 miles away) to do the drug screen for my new job. I was extremely anxious about having to go. Even though I wasn’t going alone and was going to have mom right there with me, I had an enormous amount of anxiety about the trip. I even went so far as to try and get the company to let me take the drug test somewhere closer, but there was nowhere to do that. So, if I wanted the job I had no choice.
When the time came to go, I was very nervous. My heart was racing, I was short of breath and my arms and legs felt very shaky. The whole way to Tyler I felt terrible. By the time we got to Lindale (about half way there) I was very dizzy and wanted to go home. Of course, mom was not going to let that happen so we kept on going. When we got there and went in there was someone ahead of me and I started getting even more nervous because I was going to have to wait. Finally, the woman administering the test came and got me.
I was taken to a small room where the lab tech proceeded to fill out all of the paperwork for the test. She was moving so slow!! The longer I sat there the more nervous I got. Finally, she shaved the hair off my arms (it was a hair follicle test) and put it in the envelope for testing. It was time to head home and I’m not sorry to admit that I was glad!
On the way home I actually felt a little more anxious than I did on the way to Tyler. But, the closer we got to home the better I felt. I was going to make it and, although I did have some significant anxiety, I didn’t run. I faced it, I felt it and I did it!
I’m not sure how to feel right now. I’m glad it happened the way it did and I’m glad that I accomplished this, but in all honesty I still don’t feel great. My stomach is a little upset and I’m still a little nervous. But, I know that this will pass eventually and hopefully once it does I will feel really good about the trip today. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel good about it, but I want to feel great about it. This was a big step forward!
That’s the big news of the day. The job will start soon and my hope is that being “busy” will help out a lot with the anxiety.
Don't forget to read my blog and comment there, too.
http://jwalkergs.wordpress.com/
There was a major victory in my battle with anxiety today!! I had to go to Tyler (about 50 miles away) to do the drug screen for my new job. I was extremely anxious about having to go. Even though I wasn’t going alone and was going to have mom right there with me, I had an enormous amount of anxiety about the trip. I even went so far as to try and get the company to let me take the drug test somewhere closer, but there was nowhere to do that. So, if I wanted the job I had no choice.
When the time came to go, I was very nervous. My heart was racing, I was short of breath and my arms and legs felt very shaky. The whole way to Tyler I felt terrible. By the time we got to Lindale (about half way there) I was very dizzy and wanted to go home. Of course, mom was not going to let that happen so we kept on going. When we got there and went in there was someone ahead of me and I started getting even more nervous because I was going to have to wait. Finally, the woman administering the test came and got me.
I was taken to a small room where the lab tech proceeded to fill out all of the paperwork for the test. She was moving so slow!! The longer I sat there the more nervous I got. Finally, she shaved the hair off my arms (it was a hair follicle test) and put it in the envelope for testing. It was time to head home and I’m not sorry to admit that I was glad!
On the way home I actually felt a little more anxious than I did on the way to Tyler. But, the closer we got to home the better I felt. I was going to make it and, although I did have some significant anxiety, I didn’t run. I faced it, I felt it and I did it!
I’m not sure how to feel right now. I’m glad it happened the way it did and I’m glad that I accomplished this, but in all honesty I still don’t feel great. My stomach is a little upset and I’m still a little nervous. But, I know that this will pass eventually and hopefully once it does I will feel really good about the trip today. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel good about it, but I want to feel great about it. This was a big step forward!
That’s the big news of the day. The job will start soon and my hope is that being “busy” will help out a lot with the anxiety.
Don't forget to read my blog and comment there, too.
http://jwalkergs.wordpress.com/
And, thanks for your encouragement. I think the little break from posting here gave me some perspective.