Stress Center Peer Support

I am too old to still be dealing with this kind of madness. Now I'm afraid to walk into my apartment leasing office to ask for a special to renew my lease. They already gave me $120 off my monthly rent - but since I got the idea that this is not a special due to the dropping prices in the market - I now feel I have to demand a special too. It's in my rights, but I am scared to tell them!

I now only have a few days left to give them notice to renew. I am cutting it close and I HATE WHEN I DO THIS!!!! I just can't bring myself to walk in there! I got dressed and plan to go in tonight when they're open late and it's less intimidating with only 1 person in the office, but then I'll likely have to go back tomorrow for the person there to make up the lease.

Why do I do this to myself??? Anything involving money or asking for what I want is a problem. I'm starting to have trouble breathing just thinking about it. I need to do this program. Still only on Week 2. Haven't had a chance to work it due to working at the last minute to make my rent money.

I'm 39 and sick of this stupid drama in my life. I hate anxiety and I hate that I have this problem. If it's not this, it will be something else next.

I can understand your issue!! I don't have the issue with an apartment but I know when I have to speak up at a restaurant, or in the store if I've been overcharged, I work myself up!! It's that lack of self-assertiveness and self-esteem--we are so worried about what that other person is going to think!! I agree about hating the anxiety--it is the worst thing in the world--I always tell my husband I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy! Be strong, march in there, and just say your peace. You will probably feel anxious but you will feel 100 times better if you can look back that you did it and build from there! Good luck!

I understand your problem also. Like today I spent $257.00 on having my car repaired only to get in the car and realize after 20 minutes of driving the problem was right back. I did take my car back and asked the guy to fix the problem. I have already made up my mind if the problem is not fixed, I will ask for a refund.
I am so anxious about all of this and my mom compounds the problem when she says I should have taken my car to a specialty shop where they know what they are doing. Coulda, woulda, shoulda. I told her that I have used this mechanic for a while and know that he is capapble.
I feel like such a child having to even justify my actions. After all, I'm 48 years old. Now I'm really getting worked up, anger is starting to surface. Why so many issues and so much drama in life!

It sounds like you already know your fear is irrational.

Think: what is the worst that can happen?

I always think of that little kid that had to testify in court and was too scared to speak until he got "super invisible" glasses. Then he could believe in himself and could speak of the things that scared him. We all need that little pep talk don't you think? I don't know about you but I was raised in a very strict family that believed children were to be seen not heard, and anytime I would try to speak up for myself I was disdained and put off as though anything I had to say would be so mundane. I started doubting myself and even today I see that chauvenistic attitude in some of my brothers. It only serves to make me angry, but it has also impeded my ability to stand up for myself. But boy, when I Do, it is something to see, now, I have made a decision, instead of dwelling on it, chewing it up and turning it over and over and over, and making me mad, I decide, take action, now, or bury those issues. I am still practicing. But I bet if you build up some courage you will succeed, and I hope it comes out for your good.
Ciao, Jacqueline

Thanks Shif for your positive affirmation. The worse that could happen with the car thing already has and it seems to be working right now. Hopefully the mechanic won't cash the check til tomorrow when I get paid.

i might try that if the check bounces

I'm not sure what happened to my post, but I got a notification that someone named Grape Juice responded with my post and when I came on here it was gone.

I was just sayin' that when I call up the credit card companies to have my late fee reversed I got through that "what's the worst that can happen" scenario in my head - at the worst they won't reverse it, or they do, and they always have.

OKay, so now I am wondering how did it go ItsOkayThisIsGood? Did you get through it?