Stress Center Peer Support

Last night. Something horrible happened where i had to dial 911 because my father fell on the floor shaking and i was scared out of my mind.
He took too many pills for his back and didn't eat anything he was having trouble talking and walking so i had to watch him and help him terrified that he might fall again until the medicine wore off.
I fell asleep later on when he was better beyond relieved now i am up with the back of my leg hurting where this dark blue vien is in the shape of an H and line i have that sort of freaked me out with no clue why and i'm up so i got on the computer and told one of my freinds what happend and they tell me to tell someone else like they don't care. And basically last night my father didnt care what happend much like it didnt happen wanting to take another one of his medications later on when i was scared that he might hurt himself refusing to give him any. So i don't know what to do anymore. I tell oneof my freinds what happened and they tell me to tell it to someone else like they dont even care and its like.. i am sitting here wondering what the hell is wrong .. why do all these people not give a damn and why should i anymore? i just want to not even care because all it is doing is ruining me. i am so angry and fed up with everything i dont even know how to think or deal with anything anymore and i didn't even think posting this message tonight was worth it anyways. All i'm doing is complaining right? oh its not that big of a deal..

Hi xlostgirl,
I think that it is a big deal - sounds to me that you have so much stress around you. I am sorry that this is happening to you. People can be cold sometimes and not understanding. It must be very difficult living with a parent that you have to take care of. I have no great words of wisdom to share - only that I want you to believe in yourself and that you are worth so much. Just know that we are with you - and keep on posting. In my lifetime I have come across a number of people who were less than compassionate. As you get more of the program, I think that you will have a better idea of what to do. I was going to say, as you get stronger. But, I think that you are very strong now just dealing with your situation. Why don't you have your leg looked at.
Take care,
Gerri L

Thanks
The blue vein might have already been there before on my leg my muscles in my legs just feel so tight and i keep thinking my leg with the vien on it that something is wrong since it was stinging a little when i woke up. Though i can't go to the doctor right away i have to wait for an apppointment i just keep thinking something bad might happen.
I checked my blood pressure and everything is fine. I keep worrying and i feel like i might panic... Are these pains symptoms from worked up anxiety or stress?

Girl,
I'm not a doctor but you sound so stressed out I wouldn't be surprised if your legs are tight. You have a lot on your plate right now and it doesn't sound like complaining as much as that you really don't know what to do.

Try not to anticipate problems. Life will surely bring them to your doorstep and you can only deal with one thing at a time.

I agree with Gerri L. You're stronger than you can imagine or you wouldn't still be here. Give yourself credit for the tiniest things you do right, and don't beat yourself up for mistakes.

Physical pains often draw our attention to our emotional pains. See if you can take a walk around the block. Get some fresh air. Try to distract yourself from the mess for a little while.

Keep it up. You'll make it!
Les

I'm a bit too sore and stressed to take a walk right now lol. But thank you for being so supportive. I don't get much support from alot of people but i feel comfortable with talking to everyone on here since they understand alot.

XLG,

I feel so bad for you and reading your posts reminds me so much of me! There are days when I wake up and the weight of the world is on my shoulders and all I want to do is go back to sleep and stay there. Let me tell you that I know EXACTLY how you're feeling right now! Our circumstances are different and the situations in our lives are not the same, but the results seem to be very much the same.

I hope that I can say what I'm about to say in a way that makes my sympathy and empathy for you clear and doesn't just come across as preachy. I haven't read all of your posts and you may have already addressed this issue in another one, but fromm what I can gather from this post, it sounds to me as if your father may be dealing with an addiction to the med's he takes for his back.

I've never had a family member who had an addiction, but my oldest friend was addicted to meth for several years. I tried and tried to help him in every way I could, but finally realized that there was nothing I could do. Eventually, I simply had to distance myself from him for my own sanity and health. I never stopped caring for him and praying for his recovery, but I knew there was nothing I could do for him.

Now, please understand, I'm not suggesting that you write your father off -- not by any means. But, it sounds to me like you may have done all you can do and that your father may have reached a point where he needs serious professional help. In my very humble and uneducated opinion, much of your anxiety seems to be centered around having to care for your father. But, my friend, I think it may be time to start taking care of you, too!

Again, I hope I haven't come across as uncaring or preachy, because neither was my intent. I just want you to know that you are not alone and that there is help available. I understand from one of your previous posts that your financial situation might be strained, but there are avenues available for help even for people in difficult financial situations.

Don't give up!! There will be a better day...there is always a better day! And, I'm not just being overly optimistic...TRUST ME, that is tooooootally not my style!! But, life dictates there will good and bad days. There are better days ahead, my friend. I hope you see them soon.