Stress Center Peer Support

Hi guys! I have this thought in my mind about death and it scares me. I just want to know why this thought is there and how do I get rid of it? The thought of dying terrifies me and I was never like this. I can't relax for anything. I had a normal life until I started with panic attacks and I am not sure if the anxiety is causing this thought??? I have 2 small children and a husband..They have no clue what I am going thru. I just want to know why this thought is here and it ruining my daily life. Any thoughts would help!

Thank you and God Bless!

Hi Erinh. You're not alone in this. You'll find that many of us here have the same difficulty in working through the negative self talk. Those constant messages that become obsessive and put us into the zone between just regular anxiety and panic. Although extremely difficult, I find that I try and put myself in a place that brings me happiness and I attempt to re-focus my thoughts. I don't know if you have a hobby or something you like doing but focusing my mind on specific tasks has helped me. It quiets the messages by focussing on a task. Breathing deeply and doing a 10 count also helps re-frame. Above all, you need to somehow train yourself to not let the anxiety build to panic. I'm married with a 7 month old and quite honestly, my wife has been a pillar for me whenever I get this way. She helps my focus on being positive and that I really am ok. My fear/anxiety/panic is centralized around my well being and illness. Just realize that due to our personalities, we're wired this way. Think about letting your husband know because he would be a big support for you.

Hey Erinh,
I think I know how you feel. Lately I have been there- thinking that maybe I can escape my fears with death... Although this is a sensitive subject and I am not at liberty to give advice, I just wanted to give a lil suggestion from my end of the experience. When I think of death as an escape, I have to remind myself of who I would be leaving behind and how I would actually be causing more damage than taking damage away... and yes, I know how that can make it all the more frustrating and scary...but Erinh- think of all the good things you'd be missing out on! If you can find a way to get your life in a routine you feel comfortable with- eating right (which doesn't have to be a drag), exercise (which can be calming)... you know that old toon? but most importantly when YOU FIND PEACE- imagine all the good times in life you'd be missing out on: your children's lives, good times with your husband or close friends (even if you don't have any just yet), you know, those sunny days when everything is right with the world- imagine that you aren't really far from those times. Believe that with me, would you? Because I am going on a wing and a prayer myself...
so take care Erinh!
Feel free to write to me anytime if you feel like it!!!

From what i learned in the program is that these thoughts are your brain distracting you from what is really bothering you. i don't know why this happens, maybe a culping mechanism, but you might be stressed out over something that going on lately. For mr, as i whent through my divorce, i thought constantly about my kids getting hurt. Anywere i whent, if it was on a balcony, i pictured my kids falling to their deaths. And these thoughts where so vivid, that it physically scared the s out of me. What you need to do is figure out what it is that's really bothering you, and then these thoughts will probably stop. Hope this helps you!!

Bill

Hi guys, thanks for the relpy's back. I am not thinking about hurting myself. I just have these thoughts of dying all the time and I am afraid of dying. I just want to know why these thoughts are floating in my mind. I get really scared when I think about it. I know we die when we get old, but I am terrified of it. I have no idea why these thoughts pop in my head. Am I crazy?

i try too go back and see whats really at the heart of the paranoia, and anger i feel. im just starting week 3, session 3, and im still every once in a while getting the symptoms, its actually gotten better, and im grateful, but now my thing is my wife is testing me, by annoying me with things ive imagined before,like a test of am i really changing, i know its my paranoia,she ordered these tapes for me,i know she wouldnt do that.but thats my head telling me lies.and these were the symptoms before, like the world is out to get me, i talk to her about it, thats part of the change. and my way of relieving that is these might be her genetics, i have mine and she has hers, just simply habits, not too annoy me, but just her habits,and like the tapes say, i cant change anyone, only myself and my attitudes.thats simply whats making it better for me.i love my wife, and im sure ive tweeked her annoyance level, especially the last 2 years of putting up with me with all this stuff.so im just trying to put a spin on it, with the world in general.the anger levels are a lot lower, then before.and i know i need a lot of self work. but im grateful for these tapes, they are working for me.there changing my outlooks for the better, instead of throwing a phone or punching a wall, i put it down on paper, and try too use the tools and skills taught in the program. keep posting.

Erin - I think you're caught in a feedback loop that is so common with anxiety disorders. You are thinking about death because is scares you. And it scares you because you're thinking about it. It keeps feeding on itself. Ultimately you need to break the cycle. This might happen with positive self talk or just through exposure, but once you accept the thoughts and stop fearing them, they will go away.

Hi all. This subject is my biggest fear of all. This is what created my first panic attack when I was nine years old. I have had issues with panic and anxiety ever since so I know what you are going through with this. I still struggle a little with this from time to time but I try to stay positive and I am trying to figure out what triggers it. I am so jealous of the people that aren't afraid I wish I would just not be but I am. If anyone has any suggestions as how to deal with this I am ALL ears and I have been trying myself for 22 years. I have done the program about 2 years ago but would like to do it again. I would like to buy the cds but it is so expensive. I know some people will buy it on e-bay but I have never bought anything on e-bay and it kinda scares me. I have heard of people have their identity stolen on e-bay any thoughts and does anyone know how much it costs on e-bay?

Hi Cosmogirl! I know the feeling. For some reason, I have this thought that I am always going to die and I TERRIFY myself. I have no clue where it came from. ?! I started having panic attacks around 10 years ago. I have no idea how to get rid of this thought or WHY ITS THERE! So weird. I am a busy mother of 2 and they keep my mind off of stuff! They are my angels! I pray that we get thru this and the people on here are wonderful and helpful! Please keep the strength! Keep me updated on your progress! God Bless

Erin,
Have you done the program yet? If so, I'd suggest going through Lesson 10 one more time.
Don't TRY to escape the thought and the feelings that come with it. Actually TRY to let it sit with you and be there; take SLOW breaths; it doesn't matter how deep right at first, just slow. Speak GENTLY to yourself and remind yourself that it's JUST anxiety side effects, even if they still frighten you and you don't believe it at the moment.
The more energy you give thost icky thoughts, the stronger they feel. We CAN'T run from them.
You WILL get this. Keep at it.
Once again: don't fight, slow breaths, be gentle, repeat.