Jules and Rrly,
We are taught by others that we are selfish if we dare to put ourselves first, or even last for that matter. It is a wonderful way of controlling someone by making them feel guilty. But if you don't take care of yourself, how will you have the energy to do anything for anyone else? Doesn't that make you feel caring for others is a duty and resent it? And if you have to think of them first, do they have to think of you first?
Both of you say exactly when many of us say when we start out; second guessing, "what iffing", fear of something bad happening, being irritated with people. It's hard not to be irritated when you're feeling rotten and people don't understand. Each session deals with certain problems and you'll find new tools for dealing with people and your own way of approaching the world.
Jules, here it is not complaining. Other people often make us feel that way because they really don't get it and we end up feeling whiny. We are people with anxiety. We need others who understand and these forums are full of people like you, so write away if you need to talk.
You'll find the relaxation exercises to be helpful. You'll also learn to diffuse those thoughts when they start to make you feel bad. Don't be surprised when you do start to feel better if some people react negatively toward you. They don't like you to get better; it's harder to manipulate you then.
Rrly,
The fear of what might happen is just as scary to your body as if it has already happened. You'll learn about anticipatory anxiety and how it can be turned around in your favor. You'll learn how negative your thoughts are and how to change them.
I am in week 10 now and I can honestly say that I am changing. Other people can see it as well as I can, so I would say it's definitely worth it. It's simple, but it ain't easy!
Be selfish! How else can you learn about yourself?!
Leslie