Thanks again for the super-fast response, Ms. Hopeful.
Between the reasons for the 5htp and reflux, we must be related

. I have larynx reflux, which is reflux that goes all the way up to the voicebox area. Thankfully Nexium 40 mg and Tagamet (when needed) have been doing the trick.
I would love to go to a "natural" dr. I've always not pursued because they're usually not covered by my past insurance, though I am not sure with Cigna, my current carrier. I think I will check them out about the natural dr and neurotransmitters testing.
I believe NeuroScience is the testing place I previously heard of.
I had been on Lexapro for almost 3 years. It was beautiful: it helped with the depression and no side effects. Then 3 months ago things changed: 10 mg no longer help with the depression. After I went to 20 mg in August, the depression was improved--but I still had bouts--and I lost my libido. Between Lexapro's sudden lost effect and my lost libido--the two hit me pretty hard, adding to my already renewed depression.
I rebounded last month: the depression dropping off, I weaned successfully off the Lexapro in hope of getting into a depressions study (with free meds

), the libido is back, and things started going my way with a business enterprise.
But this was short-lived as old enemy of mine--anger--suddenly crop up and I cannot figure out why. I asked The Man Upstairs I would love to know the reason for anger's cameo reappearance, but I would prefer to over come it.
In late June I started getting another bout of anger but this seemed to be related to job dissatisfaction. I went back on the 10 mg of Lexapro it went away.
BTW: the anger is not violent, just upsetting and emotionally draining after a bout. I get angry at inanimate objects--something I have done since I was a kid. Nothing like throwing glass or physically abusing someone—God for bid. It’s more slamming a cabinet door or if say, my wallet was sitting on the edge of the table and it fell off the table, I will curse it, pick it, and fling it back on the table.
I feel bad about the anger. My wife and I are always laughing and joking on each other. One of her jokes is an imitation of me when I am upset and she goes through a string of course words. I laugh because it’s funny but I also feel bad that her imitation is based on truth. Earlier in our marriage she wasn’t a curser but now when I hear her utter a 4 letter word on her own like when she couldn’t fix her TV, I feel a little bad because she picked up the cursing from me.
I recently rediscovered a couple of books I had packed away from an attempted move of ours and one has a really great plan on overcoming anger. When I read it today my eyes bugged out because it seemed to be written for me. In another book, it mentions when people with depression who get angry, their serotonin supply gets even more depleted. Between the anger, the Lexapro debacle, and the usual medical “hit and miss” approach with SSRIs—I was inquiring about 5htp. I figure while I am working on the therapy end with the books, I wanted to also deal with the serotonin issue as well.
I am also “eating” up the Serenity Prayer. I have a printed copy of it on my desktop along with an mp3 version of it. I also rely on my faith to get me through this.
Sorry for the lengthy “autobiography” but I felt journaling here would help.
Thanks again and good night.