Stress Center Peer Support

I can't remember which session this is in, but I've been thinking a lot about this one and I believe this plays a huge role in our anxiety and depression.

How we react to situations and people.

When people say things or write things and we let them affect us. Most of the time, people don't do it with ill-intentions. Sometimes they just voice an opinion or try to help.

But we take it so personally and react.

Here is an example. I read someone's facebook status and find the information so ignorant that I feel it "insults my intelligence" I let that stew in me for a long time...well, this person is just on their own journey, why should I care about this?

Or - I share something with someone and they respond in a manner that makes me feel like they are being aloof and non-caring. Well, who am I to really know what their intentions are?

Or, thinking about a new law or ordinance, and allowing it to fester and bother me to the point of giving me a rotten day!

These are just some examples of unhealthy reactions to things around me.

There are a number of ways to "react" to something and maybe even one way is to not react at all! Actually I believe that not reacting is the preferred method in most cases.

There are probably a slim amount of situations and people that need to be responded to. But for the most part we don't need to react to much around us, because most of it we cannot control.

If we cannot control a situation, than what is the purpose of getting offended, insulted, upset, hurt or angry about it?

How is that healthy for our state of mind?

It's not.

It will just fester and end up setting our day up for anxiety and/or depression.

We are all such sensitive beings so it takes a lot of practice on our parts to "under-react" or just let things go.

At first it isn't natural because we tend to want to over-analyze and examine so many little things that other people could care less about.

If you have any tips on under-reacting, like steps you take or thought processes to go through please share!

Shif,

I'm afraid that in a way I dont agree with you. There is a need to react to almost everything. It is the extent that we react that is debatable. (if that is even a word) If someone really chaps your hide then I think you should let them know it. I dont mean to walk up to them and rip them a new....... one. I mean letting them know they got to you by telling them something like " you know when you said (insert your idea) it really bothered me. Can you tell me why you said that? OR 'I understand why you said it but please dont say that in front of me again.'

Keeping things bottled up in you without reacting can be another cause for anxiety and depression. I think in the program it is said to wait 10 minutes or something like that, now that I agree with but that is still reacting to it. If this is what you meant I am sorry for the post and hope it doesnt bother you. I, for some reason today, take thing very literally.

Wildcard I get what you are saying, and I agree that it's not right to be taken advantage of or allow people to walk all over us, but what I meant by not reacting is more like "under-reacting".

If it was somebody who I'm always around and they don't let up I definitely would take care of that but I also think "letting things go" without them festering and stewing inside of us is just as healthy. Or being able to laugh something off - and not "allowing" things to get to me.

If something is going to bother you, it should certainly be addressed in one way or another, but I believe most little molehills in life we tend to turn into mountains, and that's never healthy.

There are also times when I actually have tried to take care of things that people have "done" to me (or so I thought) and bringing it up, even by using gentle wording still puts the other person in defense and escalates things. So I think it's wise to pick our arguments!

All good points! And I agree with everything you said, I was just pointing out that in some cases it needs to be taken care of. I was just pointing out that somethings just shouldnt be kept inside. I agree that picking your battles is key!

Shif and Wildcard I agree with you! My two cents- my reading of the posts looks like you guys are arguing the same point, just with different semantics. Anyway... yes Shif, wow. Powerful insight. The kind that changes a person. Awesome!

And how timely. Today I did not know I was scheduled to teach yoga until I got a last minute call... it so happens a friend of mine was already there and was able to start the class until I got here. As I wash rushing to get there, I thought all these things: gosh I am so irresponsible I'll lose my job there, my friend thinks I am lazy and taking advantage of her, the students will be mad and disappointed... etc until I started to believe these things in a span of 5 minutes. My reactions were ridiculous and made me feel really bad. I was tense the whole class and begun beating myself in other ways as a result... I'm fat, I sound stupid, they don't like me anyway, I won't have time to do xyz, now I'll be late for my hospital job too, do I have a sore throat, etc etc... my reaction to a situation that wasn't that big a deal made me sick and I did it to myself.

Shif, I think you're hitting on the key of sessions 3 and 4, really. I guess the best tip for us is to notice it when we are doing it.

Wildcard your location made me crack up and hit the floor!