Stress Center Peer Support

I realize we all have problems, i understand we all gotta learn when to deal with our problems our self's, but this is the story of mine so please read and help me if you can.

I'm 23, never worked a day in my life, never was really told to life a finger by my family, my father is an alcoholic, my mother is one to stay away from confrontation or anything to disturb her peace of mind, Ive been playing and sitting on my computer for(taking a guess here) 5 years now, its sad yes i know. I tell myself everyday im not addicted to it but then when i try and get myself to do something else i cant think of anything so it goes back to me being on the computer, with my internet friends where i feel comfortable, free, and at home. threw-out the years Ive been yelled at and told my computer is my downfall and i agree but i cant work up enough of anything to step foot out there and "try" to get a job or anything without some kinda mind altering substance, i wanna better myself i wanna be a better person, i told myself this for years, i sit up at night for hours by myself and my music thinking and wondering "what-if", "how do i do it?", i know nothing about life im completely clueless, everyone say i need counseling but i got no insurance, no money, nothing, im empty in and out, Ive tried to reach out for help from family but all i get is idea's never help, same with my friends, im so lost and confused, Ive been threw a couple websites asking for help or looking and i cant find or get anything, so im here. Ive ordered this package and tried it for the time i had it, i don't live in a quite place or have access to anything remotely quite, i get myself depressed because i see no way out of the hole im in, i just see it going deeper and deeper, so i caved one day, i called the army, went to a recruiter and talked to him, got shot down cause i don't have my GED or high school diploma, and i cant do anything about that stuff for awhile, im living with my mother at this moment trying to help out around the house and do what i can, but the lease is almost up here and i could be homeless again, i got so many personally problems and issues i would love to spill them all out but i cant, i just cant, im really looking for some kind of guidance or help here, just someone please anyone, all the strangers out there that i know nothing about im asking for some kind of help, gimme that little glimpse of hope, that bright light so i can smile for the rest of my life instead of suffer, i just wanna be happy and it seems so hard to ask, i don't know what to do.

I think you're overwhelming yourself with too many issues at once. You need to take small steps and decide which of your problems to focus on first. I know I sound like I'm oversimplyfing things, but I also totally get the circular thinking you're caught up in. The 'I can't get a job, because I don't have an education, I can't get an education because I have no money, I have no money because I don't have a job...' thing. I do that to myself alot. You want to change your life, but you don't know how to start because it just seems so hard. I also understand about being on the computer all the time. Its easy to get caught up in it and escape your real life. And when you do try to get away from it you don't have the motivation to do anything else. If I'm not on my computer, I'm either asleep or at work. But if you really want to make things better, you can do it. This does not have to be your life. Start slowly, take walks, change a few little things in your daily routine. I know it doesn't sound like much, but you have to start somewhere.

omgwut,

It sounds to me like the first place to start is to get your GED. Then you will at least have a basic education which will qualify you for some jobs. One of my friends is on the literary council in the town where I live. She is an ex-English teacher and besides teaching people to read, they have a program where people work with you to help you learn the skills to get your GED. She is always talking to me about some adult she is working with and has their GED test coming up. Try calling your town's literary council and see if they have something like this. If you get nowhere doing that, then call the high school you went to and talk to one of the guidance counselors to find out how to go about getting your GED. There has to be a way because plenty of people find themselbes in the same boat--they gave up on school, not realizing how important it was to their future.

You say you can't do anything about that, but you can do something. It is going to take effort, but you have nowhere to go but up. You have to start believing in yourself first of all. I think Firewing is right--you are overwhelming yourself with too many issues. Really think about the best way to move forward, then use all your determination to do it. You can have a future, but only you can build it.

Hope these suggestions help some.

Ya, i do agree with both of you guys.. but even when i try not to let my problems come at me all at once it seems like they do. its so hard it really is, but im willing to take your advice even tho im scared to death of even walking around my town or outside.. i don't know why, i just wish i wasn't this way.

but thank you for your advice, anymore would really help im still looking for anything to ease my mind and reading comments like Firewing's and your Samcat, it help.. so anymore responses feel free, im all eyes and ears

You haven't learned any coping skills yet. Just keep on working the program and you will learn some. But you are going to have to do the work. In the beginning, it will feel overwhelming. If you don't have any quiet place, do you have an ipod or mp3 player? I put the relaxation tape on that and listen to it that way, through my earbuds, so it doesn't bother anybody else. There must be at least one room you can claim for yourself for 30 minutes a couple of times a day. Start doing that relaxation tape and try to calm yourself down--that will help. Dr. Fisher says that is the single most important part of the program--that it lays down neural pathways for relaxation in your brain.