Stress Center Peer Support

how is everyone feeling today?

This is my second run through the program. I did it half-heartedly last yesr but am at session 5 now and very serious about it. I suffered major panic attacks and depression at the end of June and actually self-admitted myself to a psych hospital to get it under control. Never experienced that before. My experiences were much the same as "Mike" in Session 2.

I was put on Pristiq (depression) and the benzodiazapines Clonapin and Ambien for anxiety and insomnia. I'm sticking with the Ambien for now because I sleep so fitfully even now, but am staying clear of the Clonapin and am relying on the Stress Program. I am much better now. The hospital "therapy" groups were $500 a day and a total waste compared to this program. BTW I was stuck in a group with five bi-polar women the first day so I said "Bye bye, I'm gone guys".

My main issues are self-hatred and living in my past mistakes. I made some horrible financial decisions that got us saddled with two houses and ferocious debt. I feel trapped (and really am actually trapped in a financial sense) but the program has at least helped me to free my mind. It can't fix my problems but it is helping me deal with them, along with the negative self-talk. The crisis phase seems to be over but I still am not engaging in the things of life properly. Chores, events, church, family gatherings, are all very difficult to do. Agoraphobic to a degree? I guess. I did not realize that this is a companion problem of anxiety.

Hanging in there but this is a tough road. My wife has been wonderful but I am fearful of letting her down by not totally recovering. How far can I go? What should my realistic expectations be? That is the question.

How am I feeling today? Aside from being glad it's Friday, I'm thrilled at a web site I found about a week ago, inspire dot com.

It's for discussion of various issues connected with people who have/know/care for someone with Neurofibromatosis. The discussion about sensitivities in particular grabbed my attention. I'm reading other folks with NF who describe the same kind of problems I have with noise, "fragrances", and bright light. Some posts describe the feeling of relief at finding they aren't the only one, aren't "weird", etc.

Today I found something online about NF-1 and sleep disorders. There does appear to be a connection. A-HA!! It's something about a gene that's important in circadian rhythm, is the one that gets mutated in people who have NF-1. The mutation means that the body's clock gets thrown off. I hope I can learn more.

purpmartin

im feeling okay today, trying to use the cards, and that positive talk stuff, for me thats hard because i hated myself for the past 2 years. but i have to say , just for this moment, i feel alright with myself. i also in the past year have been jumpy with noises, and fragrances, espesially with my wifes hairspray, i have this thing about the air being poisened. i guess that also goes with how i feel about the world being against me. and its me against them mentality. however its good to know others are going through similar things, i will check out that website, maybe it will inspire me too.thanks and keep posting, i guess this is the way its supposed work. actually interacting with people. even if its on the internet. its a start.

Actually, today I am feeling better than I have in a few weeks! I have had more energy and been more active today. My husband was home from work today and we rode out and enjoyed the sunshine...although it was very hot! I am grateful to God that I feel better today. I am excited about starting some vitamins for the first time! I am going to start tomorrow so I will see how that works. I know I need vitamins and my doctors have told me that over and over again that it would not hurt for me to take a multi-vitamin.
I pray that this good feeling remains!!!