Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:48 pm
Hi everyone,
It's been quite some time since I have posted here. I really need to tonight, though. I've come a very long ways with my anxiety in the past year, but I need some support right now.
A good friend of mine called me tonight to tell me that she has 2 tumors on her throat. They haven't done a biopsy yet, but will be doing one on Thursday. Immediately upon hearing this, I start to panic. It's like, all the months I've spent feeling panic free - gone. I hate this about myself. I really do. I seriously can't handle bad news. I hear it and bam, instant panic. It doesn't matter what it is regarding, a friends health, bad news in the world, predictions about the future. I think it's because they are things I have no control over. I hate change. I hate bad things happening that I have no control over. It's so hard for me to cope with any of it. I'm just incredibly sensitive to bad news of any kind.
On top of that, I'm stressed out because I'm moving this week. I just feel like everything is crumbling around me. Life was getting so much better for me and now all of this change and bad news... I just don't know.
I feel like I should be strong for my friend. I know she's scared. I just can't go through life wishing that people wouldn't tell me upsetting things. It's just not realistic. I have no idea how to cope with it. Not a clue. The only reaction I know is to panic and I hate that.
It's been quite some time since I have posted here. I really need to tonight, though. I've come a very long ways with my anxiety in the past year, but I need some support right now.
A good friend of mine called me tonight to tell me that she has 2 tumors on her throat. They haven't done a biopsy yet, but will be doing one on Thursday. Immediately upon hearing this, I start to panic. It's like, all the months I've spent feeling panic free - gone. I hate this about myself. I really do. I seriously can't handle bad news. I hear it and bam, instant panic. It doesn't matter what it is regarding, a friends health, bad news in the world, predictions about the future. I think it's because they are things I have no control over. I hate change. I hate bad things happening that I have no control over. It's so hard for me to cope with any of it. I'm just incredibly sensitive to bad news of any kind.
On top of that, I'm stressed out because I'm moving this week. I just feel like everything is crumbling around me. Life was getting so much better for me and now all of this change and bad news... I just don't know.
I feel like I should be strong for my friend. I know she's scared. I just can't go through life wishing that people wouldn't tell me upsetting things. It's just not realistic. I have no idea how to cope with it. Not a clue. The only reaction I know is to panic and I hate that.