Stress Center Peer Support

hey everyone.. here is my situation.. I had a beautiful baby boy almost 4 years ago, & since he was born severe cleft, & failure to thrive they called it, because of his disabilities, social services came in & took him at 2 months old, & kept a court action going for 2 years, we held on because every month we were told he was coming home at the end of that month,, for 2 years we endured. they told us & the foster parents that he was well enough to come home, so everytime it was "that day" the day to come back,he would be conviently sick & have to be rushed to the hospital.. this went on for the 2 years.. the fostermom was suspected of "doing" things to make my baby sick.. but finally the court had enough of the case & took away our rights... so the fosterparents adopted him. ( it was said bye the courts we have visit rights ) & we are to be in his life. all if a sudden my son is not "sick anymore" & tho he is almost 4 he still wears diapers, he is not potty trained, he is so skinney, & i have no say, but i get to see him whenever its conveinent to the new "mom" they were also told to tell him we were his "other" mommy & daddy, but they have yet done so.. i just found out that adopted mom has schitzo phrenia... & we BOTH do not like each other, but Its still her that conducts the visits.. she wont let her husband, so when we talk to our son, he has to get the ok to say i love you.. which he dioes not know cause we dont get visits that often maybe once a month if we are lucky.. So... my question??? How do i still be in my 4 year old's life & Not make her Mad?? I have to see her & have contact for my son's sake how do i let go of the anger i have over what she did?? she wanted him so bad but does not love him.. she hits him... No one will do anything about it.. case closed.. I cant walk away from my baby! but i cant even talk to this woman.. neither can my husband.. & she tells everyone she hates us cause "Joey" is HER baby. help.. He Is my son! God it Hurts! sorry this is long
By the way, we were never charged with abuse but the judge just though that since my baby was with her so long... he should just stay...

Yikes--

No wonder you feel bad. That situation sounds so tangled up and un-right.

I guess you have to deal by loving your son and remembering him in every encounter that you have with that other lady. And taking the long view and not letting your itchy trigger finger of resentment and anger go off. Soon your son will be old enough to figure out who is the real loving person in the situation.

Is there a way you can go back to court? Are you seeing a counselor for moral support?