So lost in anxiety, please help me...

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Annalyzer24
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jul 24, 2007 6:21 pm

Post by Annalyzer24 » Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:02 am

Hi all,
I have been struggling with anxiety for about 10 years now. I have tried so many things!!!! About six months ago my mind decided to turn all this crap into a HUGE death terror! It has been consistantly on my mind since and is very scary! I deal with a deep, dark, depersonalization disorder that I can't seem to pull myself out of! It's hard for me to believe that I will ever get over this because it is something that is going to happen no matter what I do! I'm so shaken and really need to hear some hope and success stories about this! I look around and wonder how everyone else can't be feeling like this??? It feels so horribly real to me, like I've discovered some horrible truth that everyone else is niave to! I start thinking about eternity, heaven, hell, just the weirdness of being here, etc.... It is a living terifying hell!!!! If some of you could please give me some answers, I would be so grateful!
Thank you,
Anna
"Dance like no one is watching"

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Dec 14, 2009 9:18 am

I had this particualr fear of death pounce on me a few years ago. After being absolutely consumed with it for awhile, and not actually conking over dead, my mind apparently decided that I wasn't going to die in the immediate future. However, getting there was long and arduous and did it ever take its toll. I still get these thoughts about dying but now it only happens when I am really tired or getting over being sick with something else.

This thought was a little tougher than the usual run of the mill scary thought because its so FINAL. However, no matter how scary the content it is STILL JUST A STUPID SCARY THOUGHT. Really! Now when I have them I tell myself, "Oh, theres that death thought again. Wonder how I will die this time... " And kind of make a game of it. It's hard but, once I got some distance from it, I was actually able to laugh at it. I started making fun of the anxiety. What huge stupid lie could it try to get me to believe next?

When your in the middle of it, it's hard. REALLY hard. Every time you find some proof that anxiety is lying to you (and it always is) then you brandish that truth like a weapon and tell anxiety what a lying ass you think it is. LOL!

Really hope it helps to know you are not alone.

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:55 pm

Anna -

Take heart; eventually the fear subsides. I've had similar fears for many years and I've found that the more time that passes, the less those fears affect me. I used to be very preoccupied with them but I became accustom to the feelings and they no longer scare me. Granted, I've replaced them with new fears (LOL) but the point is that you'll get over this just like everything else. The good news is that I'm learning to deal with my fears, to face them, and they're having less and less impact on my life every day.

Remember back over the years you've had anxiety. I'm sure that there have been many fears that you've had that have come and gone. Something that might have frightened you five years ago may not have any impact on you today. For example, when I first started having panic attacks I was fixated on my heartbeat and was certain I was going to have a heart attack or stroke. Now, I almost never think about these fears. I've become desensitized to them.

As for your particular fears that you mentioned in your post, I'll share some of mine that are of a similar nature. I used to worry that after death, I would just float around in blackness, being conscious, but completely alone. I would also think about how my life on Earth was just a tiny moment in the eternity of the universe. What would happen when my time was over but the universe kept going on? I would take that thought a step further: it also frightened me that we live on this tiny planet in the middle of nowhere in the huge vastness of the universe. It made life seem so unimportant; that our little world was nothing and just a tiny speck in the blackness of space. Those thoughts made me feel such loneliness and so vulnerable as well as made life seem so unreal and like an imaginary state.

Sometimes these thoughts still occur to me, but I have had them long enough that they don't bother me the way they used to. They usually come at night when my mind is wandering and unoccupied. Now I realize that there is nothing to fear about these thoughts and that regardless of what I think or fear, the world will continue to turn, life will go on, and whatever happens to us when we die is out of my control and therefore not something I should worry myself about. Of course, there's the caveat that life after death is dependent on your religious beliefs, so in that case there are some things you can do depending on your point of view. I'm not going to impose my religious philosophies on you; you'll have to decide those for yourself.

In the end, YOU'RE GOING TO BE JUST FINE. You haven't stumbled onto the secret of reality. While I'm sure you are a very intelligent and creative person, you can rest assured that whatever fears you might come up with, somebody, if not many people, have most certainly had the same exact fears before.

Take care,
Jamie

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:47 pm

Great take on this Hot Rod. I love that you found a way to LAUGH at your thoughts - it's obvious that you are at a better place with this now, as am I.

Annalyzer, Are you working the program? These are just HARMLESS scary thoughts, and are covered specifically in the program. They are just your mind's way of distracting you from something else in your life that you are probably not dealing with. This program will show you the way out of this crap.

Hang in there!

John

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Dec 15, 2009 3:40 am

Wow, Thank you! I do love the idea of laughing at my thoughts...
Sea runner, I can relate to your thoughts so well! It does help me a lot to know that some one has thought of the same things and has become desensitized to it. It just makes everything feel so unreal and pointless and then I freak out... Thanks you so much for the hope. I did the program a long time ago. I would like to re-do it, but I am missing a lot of peices and cant afford the whole thing again. Con the peices be bought individually?
Thanks again,
Anna

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