Regressing :/
Posted: Wed Mar 20, 2019 11:25 pm
I just got home from the ER because of a racing/pounding heart. It happened last month and I was able to wait it out at home, but this time it bothered me so much that I wanted to go have it checked out. This was the first time I've gone to the ER for anxiety issues, surprisingly, and I've had anxiety and panic attacks for many years. Everything checked out perfect, which I assumed would be enough relief to make all of my anxiety go away, but nope. I'm definitely better than when I went, but I'm still feeling a little uneasy tonight.
I first went through this program about 20 years ago, and it changed my life! I couldn't believe how much better I felt and I never, ever worried about anxiety. But, about a couple of years ago I began having anxiety here and there, and then it got much worse. I ordered the program again last August, but I'm not doing it as consistently and as well as I did the first time. I thought I could just start out at the beginning and then skip to the areas I was having the most trouble with. I also had stopped doing the relaxation session as consistently. It seemed to be working fine, though. About a month ago I noticed how great I felt and how I wasn't letting anxiety keep me from doing things it had been in the past. And this is going to sound weird, but I was actually craving Dr. Pepper and drinking more of it this particular week. I felt "back to normal" and it felt so good. Saturday evening I was just sitting in my chair getting sleepy when all of a sudden my heart started racing and pounding. It lasted for about 8-10 minutes and I thought I was going to have to go to the ER. My husband was able to help me calm down and I felt better. Not great, but better. The following days were filled with dread and worry that it was going to happen again. My anxiety was consuming me. After a few days I started feeling back to myself, but still with a little more anxiety than normal. The past five days, I've had Dr. Pepper/tea at least 4 times and today the racing/pounding heartbeat happened again. I don't know if it's a coincidence or not. It's hard to believe that just the caffeine alone caused this when I've drank caffeinated drinks throughout the years with no anxiety.
I guess I'm needing someone to remind me that there's a reason for the order of the sessions and the workbook/relaxation session. And, to reassure me that even though I feel like I'm regressing, the program can work again for me. Thanks for the support!
I first went through this program about 20 years ago, and it changed my life! I couldn't believe how much better I felt and I never, ever worried about anxiety. But, about a couple of years ago I began having anxiety here and there, and then it got much worse. I ordered the program again last August, but I'm not doing it as consistently and as well as I did the first time. I thought I could just start out at the beginning and then skip to the areas I was having the most trouble with. I also had stopped doing the relaxation session as consistently. It seemed to be working fine, though. About a month ago I noticed how great I felt and how I wasn't letting anxiety keep me from doing things it had been in the past. And this is going to sound weird, but I was actually craving Dr. Pepper and drinking more of it this particular week. I felt "back to normal" and it felt so good. Saturday evening I was just sitting in my chair getting sleepy when all of a sudden my heart started racing and pounding. It lasted for about 8-10 minutes and I thought I was going to have to go to the ER. My husband was able to help me calm down and I felt better. Not great, but better. The following days were filled with dread and worry that it was going to happen again. My anxiety was consuming me. After a few days I started feeling back to myself, but still with a little more anxiety than normal. The past five days, I've had Dr. Pepper/tea at least 4 times and today the racing/pounding heartbeat happened again. I don't know if it's a coincidence or not. It's hard to believe that just the caffeine alone caused this when I've drank caffeinated drinks throughout the years with no anxiety.
I guess I'm needing someone to remind me that there's a reason for the order of the sessions and the workbook/relaxation session. And, to reassure me that even though I feel like I'm regressing, the program can work again for me. Thanks for the support!