Last friend

[Stephanie972]

Hi everyone,

I have an aunt who I've always felt close to. I think of her more as a friend. We used to meet for walks or shopping or for sleepovers at her house where we'd stay up late talking, laughing, and catching up. She lives about half an hour away. She's been my friend through it all.

I don't make friends easily and it's even harder to for me to maintain any new friendships (in person. It's nice and easier to share online in forums like this & get to know people from a distance.). Right now, and for the last couple of years, my aunt has been my only "real" friend.

Anyway, things have changed over the past year. Her son has moved back home and she's started a new job. We only see each other every other month now. She rarely answers my texts when I try to maintain some kind of connection between these visits.

I'd like to spend more time together, or at least feel reassured that she still wants to be friends with me. I think about saying something to her but I don't want it to have the opposite effect.

The only reason we see each other now is because of my scheduled hair appointments. She says she still likes to join me for the day (every other month), but then I don't hear from her again until right before the next appointment.

I'd appreciate some insight or advice on this. I have an appointment coming up in a few weeks. I haven't heard from her since June. Part of me wants to reach out to her again, while the other part of me feels resentful and hopes she forgets so I can take my daughter with me instead, or just go by myself.

[Truthworldwide]

Hi Stephanie,

It sounds to me like the anxiety talking. A "what-if" scenario.

Take a look: "...feel reassured that she still wants to be friends with me."
"She says she still likes to join me for the day (every other month), but then I don't hear from her again until right before the next appointment."
"...part of me feels resentful and hopes she forgets so I can take my daughter with me instead, or just go by myself."

It seems that she may indeed be busier these days, with her son back home, but also you are having obsessive thinking about her "not wanting to hang around with you." Your thoughts are spinning around and diving more negatively, but, you don't have any *actual evidence* stating she doesn't want to hang around.

I'd call her, state cheerfully "it's time for my next appointment, let's grab something to eat beforehand!" and go from there. You can even ask her how things are going and how busy she must be.

Sounds to me like she's got her own thing going on at home and she's just wrapped up in it. Go get a hold of her and have a blast!

[Stephanie972]

Hi, Tom.
By reading your reply I see how negatively I was thinking. You're right, she's never told me she doesn't want to hang out with me or given me any reason to believe that it's true, other than just by her being busy.

I can see how I get stuck on thinking (inventing) the worst, especially when it comes to friendships. Maybe I will reach out to her before my next appointment and see how she's doing and if she'd still like to join me.

Thank you for your thoughts!