suicide- coaches plz help! anyone

[1254smit]

Okay ive been freaking out for months. I have been having panic attacks all day every day for weeks now. I have thoughts of suicide and it scares me becsude i feel like ill actually do it. I just want help i cant leave my couch because i am so scared ill do it. I feel numb and detached from myself. I have thoughts like during a panic attack i hope it will kill me etc which scares me more. My thoughts are so crazy i feel like i actually do it and when i try to seek help i dont even know where to turn too. I feel guilty being like this because my bf seems to get upset and stuff. Ppl tell me to stop thinking the thoughts but its like i feel something is clicking in my head that is causing me to feel this way. I feel the thoughts got worse when i tried one pill of zoloft but i didnt take the nect doses because my anxiety wad thru the roof now i have panic attacks every 5 mins and i dont know what to do!!!

[hope11]

Hi smit. Just read your post and was concerned about you. Please don't keep waiting for this to go away on your own. Get someone to help you go to a dr. Panic attacks can cause you to have some serious thoughts that you need help with. I'll be praying for you and hope to hear back that you are doing better. Stay strong!

[missgsr]

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do. Having anxiety is exhausting and sometimes you feel like not being alive would be better than dealing with being on the verge of FREAK OUT all the time. There have been times in my life when I thought of suicide...a lot...and once I REALLY was scared that I would do it. I called my shrink and asked him what to do when I'm actually afraid of myself. He told me to go to the emergency room and I did. What happened when I got there was not what I expected. I parked my car and cried for hours. Cried that I felt so bad that I wanted to end my life. Cried that it had gotten so bad that I was now sitting at the ER...this was closer than I'd ever been. But then I started thinking what I'd tell them when I went inside. "Hi, I'm here because I want to die." Suddenly I started thinking about the people who normally go to the ER. They are dying and there because they want to LIVE. They are physically fighting for their lives. I then started thinking of the people I loved and how they would feel knowing I was there...or worse, knowing that I'd taken my own life. I took an inventory of everything good in my life, which at first made me cry even harder because, as it turns out, I do have a lot to live for but for some reason I was having such a hard time feeling happy about all of those things. I never did go inside. I'd cried so much that I'd exhausted myself and was so tired, I just wanted to go home and go to bed, a way better alternative than taking my life and one that got me through to the next day. The next time you feel afraid of yourself....get in your car and go park in the emergency room parking lot. Sit there for as long as you need to. Cry as hard as you need to. You may be surprised at the revelations you have. And absolutely, if you really think you'll do it, go inside and get help. They will help you there and keep you safe from yourself. My thoughts are with you and please PM if you ever want to chat.

[hope11]

Hi missgsr: Your post was great! I have been concerned about "smit" since I read the post earlier this year. I hope and pray "he or she" got some help. And Praise God you saw the light before you let things go too far for yourself. Never ever give up on yourself. God is always with you and will get you through whatever you are thinking or feeling. Have a blessed day and be thankful you chose to still have this day to use your experience as an angel to bless others. Thank you for sharing this. I'm sure it will help many who read it. You will be in my prayers along with all the others on this website and those who have anxiety everywhere. It is a hard road to travel.