I feel like I'm falling off the wagon

[Drewskie]

It's been 7 years since I went through the program and I've done really well in that time. I was always worried about my health. I would have panic attacks, and didn't know it. I was putting a strain on my marriage. But, I got it under control.

Recently there have been several people I know diagnosed with various forms of cancer and I've allowed myself to let fear and negativity crowd into my life once again. The most difficult situation has been a very young man (teenager) that was diagnosed with Leukemia. It's been over a year since his diagnosis, he's over 100 days removed from his bone marrow transplant and is doing well. My problem is that I keep thinking, "what keeps him from going crazy, worried about it coming back." I've also allowed myself to start "finding" symptoms in myself.

It all seemed to have come to a head over the last couple days. I've had a sinus infection/cold. I went to the Dr. and was given antibiotics and prednisone (which makes me jittery). The lymph nodes under my jaw have swollen up very large and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I know that it is a result of my infection. I knew that already, but had to go back to the Dr. just for conformation. He's not worried and told me that they could even remain swollen for weeks after the infection is gone. But, now I'm checking other areas of my body to see if lymph nodes are swollen there as well because that would confirm my fears. I guess I'm looking for some help from those that have been in similar situations. Have you ever "relapsed", so to speak? How did you regain your focus?

Thanks,
Drew

[coachchris]

Hi Drew,

This is Coach Chris from the coaching team here at StressCenter. Thank you for writing and reaching out.
I too was stuck in hypochondria and obsessive thinking for many years, 10 to be exact. After going through the program I learned to identify my obsessive thinking and replace lies with truths.

I would be telling yourself that your obsessive thinking always lies to you and brings confusion. You are choosing to be a truth teller. You are a healthy man. Their story is not your story. Be very assertive with your negative thinking.

What is the core fear under the health concerns? Fear of suffering, fear of dying, loss of control or fear of panic?

Are you taking any medication?

I look forward to your reply.
Coach Chris
888-480-6785

[Drewskie]

I would say that the underlying fear has to do with dying/not being with my family. I have a young daughter (3) and another baby on the way. My life is great. I love my family.

Also, my father died when I was 18 (11 years ago) and it was very difficult, obviously, on me and my mother. I know how I felt and the impact it had on us and I don't want my kids/wife to have to deal with that.

I do not take any regular medication. At the time of my post I was taking Prednisone for my sinus infection and after a discussion with my Dr. have learned it makes me "jittery" and emotional. I don't think I'll take that anymore.

Sorry for the long delay in responding.

Thanks,
Drew

[Drewskie]

Deleted Double Post

[coachchris]

Glad you gleaned some insights regarding the prednisone. Over the years I have seen prednisone exaggerate body symtpoms for some people.

How are you doing with taking thoughts captive and doing negatives to positives?

[lockdo]

We all must persevere!!!