Hey, I know how hard it can be to face limitations and so I actually came up with a new idea that could possibly help people with that by showing them my own exposures and seeing my own process. I've started to video record them on my new camera and have started posting them on youtube in hopes that it can help you guys or anybody else struggling with anxiety....so far I have 1 video about going to improv class (which is rather high on my list of fears). Unfortunately that is a before and after because I cannot take the camera into the class but there will be other vids that you actually see me in the midst of fear facing...like phoning people and talking to them for instance or possibly karaoke.
Anyways if this interests you and you'd like to check the videos out, here is the link to the first fear facing video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfZ2aUy-lwU
I will also be making other types of videos that are related to overcoming anxiety in the near future too...you may find something helpful there that you may not have known before that can compliment the knowledge and skills within the program..when it comes to expectations, self-talk and habit breaking for example.
So yeah, check it out if you'd like. And feel free to leave comments or subscribe if you'd like as well.
Mike C
A new idea
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Ninjafrodo2
- Posts: 234
- Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am
Re: A new idea
Last link was day 1 of my improv for anxiety class....here is day 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnk4yRJhBW0
Mike
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hnk4yRJhBW0
Mike
Re: A new idea
This is a very cool idea, Ninja. I will definitely check out your videos. I'm impressed with your insight and think this may be a great sort of 'accountability thread' to see how we are doing. Ok, so you are going to face your fears of Improv and also maybe someday Kareokie. (sp). I wonder if your fears have a common denominator, so to speak. Being vulnerable in front of other people comes to mind...
(I bet that being vulnerable to other people is a common fear and I've seen it again and again that we want to protect and help people who feel vulnerable to other people.) Natural for me anyway.
My fear, and it is relatively recent; in the last 6 years or so, I have a fear of traveling by myself. I'm SURE I would love it. I used to travel all by myself as I was in the travel business.
But for the last 27 years I've had someone take care of every last detail. And in the last year I've I've i think I know why I may have a fear of travel now.
But, Here's what I have going for me.
1. I am EXTREMELY organized.
2. I'm knowledgable in the general area of travel. Planes, trains and automobiles, so to speak.
3. I'm fairly sophisticated re: travel.
4. ?
5. ?
I also want to be clear that I don't mean traveling to another state at the moment or another country. I just want to travel in my new state of Florida. By car. By myself. Without anyone telling me what to do, etc.
I'm afraid to get lost. I know if I do get lost that I can call AAA, I can call home, I can ask many people for help, etc. I'm still afraid of getting lost. I'm afraid to get lost.
The rational part of me knows that this is silly if not crazy. The irrational fear takes over; what if I get lost.
The rational side says 'Are you really afraid to succeed?' OR another rational side says 'what will you do when you get to your destination?'
My first trip I want to go to a place on the West Coast of my state to visit areas from my childhood. And possibly cousins.
I want to do this by myself.
I'm afraid.
It doesn't make sense because I accomplish everything I set out to do and have accomplished MUCH in the past few years.
So, You want to speak in front of a group and I want to just get in my car and go.
(I bet that being vulnerable to other people is a common fear and I've seen it again and again that we want to protect and help people who feel vulnerable to other people.) Natural for me anyway.
My fear, and it is relatively recent; in the last 6 years or so, I have a fear of traveling by myself. I'm SURE I would love it. I used to travel all by myself as I was in the travel business.
But for the last 27 years I've had someone take care of every last detail. And in the last year I've I've i think I know why I may have a fear of travel now.
But, Here's what I have going for me.
1. I am EXTREMELY organized.
2. I'm knowledgable in the general area of travel. Planes, trains and automobiles, so to speak.
3. I'm fairly sophisticated re: travel.
4. ?
5. ?
I also want to be clear that I don't mean traveling to another state at the moment or another country. I just want to travel in my new state of Florida. By car. By myself. Without anyone telling me what to do, etc.
I'm afraid to get lost. I know if I do get lost that I can call AAA, I can call home, I can ask many people for help, etc. I'm still afraid of getting lost. I'm afraid to get lost.
The rational part of me knows that this is silly if not crazy. The irrational fear takes over; what if I get lost.
The rational side says 'Are you really afraid to succeed?' OR another rational side says 'what will you do when you get to your destination?'
My first trip I want to go to a place on the West Coast of my state to visit areas from my childhood. And possibly cousins.
I want to do this by myself.
I'm afraid.
It doesn't make sense because I accomplish everything I set out to do and have accomplished MUCH in the past few years.
So, You want to speak in front of a group and I want to just get in my car and go.
Last edited by Loveslife on Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: A new idea
((((((((((((((MIKE)))))))))))))
You're amazing, vulnerable, sweet and sincere. Thank you for taking me on your journey. I'm a 55 year old woman and I can learn from you. I've stepped out of my comfort zone for awhile now and started a new career and it's great yada yada yada. I'm ready to take everything to the next level whatever that may be, but I have to tackle this driving by myself thing first.
As a dear friend once told me...."I think I can, I think I can, I know I can, I know I can"
Great job, Mike. Keep your videos coming. XO
You're amazing, vulnerable, sweet and sincere. Thank you for taking me on your journey. I'm a 55 year old woman and I can learn from you. I've stepped out of my comfort zone for awhile now and started a new career and it's great yada yada yada. I'm ready to take everything to the next level whatever that may be, but I have to tackle this driving by myself thing first.
As a dear friend once told me...."I think I can, I think I can, I know I can, I know I can"
Great job, Mike. Keep your videos coming. XO
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Ninjafrodo2
- Posts: 234
- Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am
Re: A new idea
Its funny reading the first comment you posted and then the second one! In the first one you seem to be more in analytical/figuring out mode and then the second you just seem full of energy, excitement and enthusiasm. It was really wonderful to read that post by the way.
I do karaoke right now actually and have been since November of last year with a couple of gaps in between November and Feburary and then August till now. I wouldn't say its easy and that I have no fear at all but I am able to do it with maybe 40% anxiety unless its a new song then that might go to 50 or 60%...if its my go to song then its more like 20-30%. The on stage part and doing non-scripted stuff is alot higher than that (80-95%).
Yes you're right that the common theme behind my anxiety is with people. I get very anxious when i'm around people...when I talk, when I perform on stage, when I act, when i'm just trying to be me...i'm terrified about being made fun of, put down, discouraged, yelled at or responded to some other negative way...thats because it has been my experience and so my mind will fill in the blanks with that past experience when it comes to future or present situations when I don't actually know what is going to happen...but thats how the brain works. And you're right I am very insightful and i'm flattered that you're impressed by that. I've started searching for answers since I was 12 and have developed that part of myself pretty strong but only because I absolutely had to as I didn't have anybody to help give me the answers or guide me.
Actually now that I've read your post and how you commented about the common theme....I think its about time I actually make a video about that and why I have it...I think it could really help alot of people out.
When I read your first post by the way when you are talking about going on trips by yourself in your car, what comes to me is that there is actually something underlying this issue....I get the feeling that the driving on your own is just a symbolic thing kind of like when Lucinda gave an example about someone being afraid to drive long distances and maybe its actually because they are afraid of driving away from their marriage....what-if they got lost without that other person? I don't know if that has any relevance but thats just what came to me when I read your post. It could be that driving and getting lost could just be obsessive thoughts that come up when you're thinking about something else that you might not want to deal with too.
I love how you quoted me...thats sweet! And I think everybody has unique things they can teach anybody at any age. For me, I've pretty much had to figure everything out on my own...i've done alot of reading, I've done alot of observing and I've done alot of thinking...and I think I have alot of knowledge to offer people that is not well known but that can be a very big benefit but also in a way that can be enjoyable....I want to share these things but i'm adding the element of play, silliness and humor in there as well as using objects and analogies in my videos in order to explain what I mean in the simplest way possible. (although I haven't made those videos quite yet, i'm still working out the kinks....apparently improv-ing those types of videos doesn't seem to work so i have to figure out a way to structure them out in a way that does...i'll keep you posted).
I do karaoke right now actually and have been since November of last year with a couple of gaps in between November and Feburary and then August till now. I wouldn't say its easy and that I have no fear at all but I am able to do it with maybe 40% anxiety unless its a new song then that might go to 50 or 60%...if its my go to song then its more like 20-30%. The on stage part and doing non-scripted stuff is alot higher than that (80-95%).
Yes you're right that the common theme behind my anxiety is with people. I get very anxious when i'm around people...when I talk, when I perform on stage, when I act, when i'm just trying to be me...i'm terrified about being made fun of, put down, discouraged, yelled at or responded to some other negative way...thats because it has been my experience and so my mind will fill in the blanks with that past experience when it comes to future or present situations when I don't actually know what is going to happen...but thats how the brain works. And you're right I am very insightful and i'm flattered that you're impressed by that. I've started searching for answers since I was 12 and have developed that part of myself pretty strong but only because I absolutely had to as I didn't have anybody to help give me the answers or guide me.
Actually now that I've read your post and how you commented about the common theme....I think its about time I actually make a video about that and why I have it...I think it could really help alot of people out.
When I read your first post by the way when you are talking about going on trips by yourself in your car, what comes to me is that there is actually something underlying this issue....I get the feeling that the driving on your own is just a symbolic thing kind of like when Lucinda gave an example about someone being afraid to drive long distances and maybe its actually because they are afraid of driving away from their marriage....what-if they got lost without that other person? I don't know if that has any relevance but thats just what came to me when I read your post. It could be that driving and getting lost could just be obsessive thoughts that come up when you're thinking about something else that you might not want to deal with too.
I love how you quoted me...thats sweet! And I think everybody has unique things they can teach anybody at any age. For me, I've pretty much had to figure everything out on my own...i've done alot of reading, I've done alot of observing and I've done alot of thinking...and I think I have alot of knowledge to offer people that is not well known but that can be a very big benefit but also in a way that can be enjoyable....I want to share these things but i'm adding the element of play, silliness and humor in there as well as using objects and analogies in my videos in order to explain what I mean in the simplest way possible. (although I haven't made those videos quite yet, i'm still working out the kinks....apparently improv-ing those types of videos doesn't seem to work so i have to figure out a way to structure them out in a way that does...i'll keep you posted).
Re: A new idea
It's ok if you don't or can't post videos at the moment re: improv, etc. I just want you to know that I rewatched your first video just now and am thinking about your whole 'not preplanning a conversation because if you preplan a conversation and it doesn't go your way you get stuck' thing.
Long pause here....really thinking about it.
Spontanaity (not spell checking on purpose; who cares!) might be the key to happiness. I mean, think about it. Another huge pause...
The best moments in life are always spontaneous. <<< Hahahaha little red line that appears under misspelled words-I won on that last round.
Anyway, So, it's true. The best moments in my life and I bet if anyone thinks about it, it will apply to most of us, the best moments are spontaneous. So what the hell?
It's impossible to preplan being spontaneous. If it WERE possible you can be sure that I would preplan being spontaneous.
That's it. That's all I've got to say. Which is basically nothing.
I'm feeling very, very sad. Very, very depressed.
But I know it will pass. I'm just waiting for everything to be better.
Anyway, sorry for rambling and I'll probably delete this.
I hope you are doing well and conquering your anxiety. Thanks for listening.
XO
PS I'm going to try not to come back and edit because that wouldn't be spontaneous. Seriously.
Long pause here....really thinking about it.
Spontanaity (not spell checking on purpose; who cares!) might be the key to happiness. I mean, think about it. Another huge pause...
The best moments in life are always spontaneous. <<< Hahahaha little red line that appears under misspelled words-I won on that last round.
Anyway, So, it's true. The best moments in my life and I bet if anyone thinks about it, it will apply to most of us, the best moments are spontaneous. So what the hell?
It's impossible to preplan being spontaneous. If it WERE possible you can be sure that I would preplan being spontaneous.
That's it. That's all I've got to say. Which is basically nothing.
I'm feeling very, very sad. Very, very depressed.
But I know it will pass. I'm just waiting for everything to be better.
Anyway, sorry for rambling and I'll probably delete this.
I hope you are doing well and conquering your anxiety. Thanks for listening.
XO
PS I'm going to try not to come back and edit because that wouldn't be spontaneous. Seriously.
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Ninjafrodo2
- Posts: 234
- Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am
Re: A new idea
Its fine to express yourself, it only feels uncomfortable based off what you are thinking about what you have expressed. It can also be really hard to not want to go back and edit things so they sound much better but yeah spontaneity doesn't seem to work that way. Its fine what you posted and yeah I feel the same but because of the fear and lack of a sense of security, we'd want to control the situation...and I'm planning to make a video about control as soon as I can figure out how I want to go about it (I've attempted once but didn't seem to get the message across the way I wanted to, what I was saying was just all over the place....so i need to find some kind of structure).
I just had my 3rd class and I'll be editing the video I took before and after and then posting it on tuesday...but I actually got up in front of the class without anything planned at all....we had to sing songs about nuts....how many songs can you think about that involve nuts? at the time I could only think of the coconut song from the lion king but then after that my nut song was.....nut, nut nut nut, nuuuuuuuuuut.....it wasn't impressive, it wasn't some kind of masterpiece and i'm pretty sure I didn't make a huge impression on the audience with my performance...but it didn't matter because I got up there and tried just like the other people....and alot of them were doing the same thing that I was and I didn't say or think anything bad towards them, I actually thought it was cute what some people were coming up with.
I'm sorry you're feeling very very sad and very very depressed but i'm sure there is a reason why you are feeling those things...perhaps the situations you are in are depressing situations that make you feel sad...perhaps you are sad because you are feeling really held back....whatever it is, there is a reason for it and because of that, its ok that you feel what you are feeling based off the situation...but lets try what we can with where we are at in order to move past that...and this could mean starting off reading these messages and gathering more information...thats ok.
And its too late to delete this message because I already read it and responded to it
I just had my 3rd class and I'll be editing the video I took before and after and then posting it on tuesday...but I actually got up in front of the class without anything planned at all....we had to sing songs about nuts....how many songs can you think about that involve nuts? at the time I could only think of the coconut song from the lion king but then after that my nut song was.....nut, nut nut nut, nuuuuuuuuuut.....it wasn't impressive, it wasn't some kind of masterpiece and i'm pretty sure I didn't make a huge impression on the audience with my performance...but it didn't matter because I got up there and tried just like the other people....and alot of them were doing the same thing that I was and I didn't say or think anything bad towards them, I actually thought it was cute what some people were coming up with.
I'm sorry you're feeling very very sad and very very depressed but i'm sure there is a reason why you are feeling those things...perhaps the situations you are in are depressing situations that make you feel sad...perhaps you are sad because you are feeling really held back....whatever it is, there is a reason for it and because of that, its ok that you feel what you are feeling based off the situation...but lets try what we can with where we are at in order to move past that...and this could mean starting off reading these messages and gathering more information...thats ok.
And its too late to delete this message because I already read it and responded to it
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Ninjafrodo2
- Posts: 234
- Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am
Re: A new idea
Sorry there was an unforeseen technical issue that has arisen when it has come to uploading on youtube, therefore I haven't been able to present you the 3rd day of improv but i'm working on that and will upload the video once the issue is resolve which i'm hoping will be within the next couple days
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Ninjafrodo2
- Posts: 234
- Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am
Re: A new idea
After alot of hassel, I finally got day 3 of improv class experience up...here ya go!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xURzwHhqqY
Mike
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xURzwHhqqY
Mike
Re: A new idea
Great job, Mike, and thanks for all of your effort.
So, I'm just going to type and let the letters fall where they may....
A song about nuts.
Skippy peanut butter comes to mind. But not a song. Sorry I can't help you with a melody about skippy peanut butter. Skippy peanut butter, it should be a noun instead of an adjective? La la la tea la la?
Or maybe even a verb? Tra la la de da la la.
Ok. Spontaneous. You asked for it, you've got it. (even though you really didn't ask, i see how hard it is so i'm going to risk being vulnerable too.
i have had a very bad week. i work in the cutest place and love my job. but the place where i work was broken into 2 nights ago. the front door was wide open and the back light (on a sensor) where i park my car, was smashed. someone reported it and long story short, i had all of the locks re keyed yesterday.
But here's the thing. THE THING. (probably deserves capital letters)
I recovered out of the clear blue sky a few months ago a horrible memory. very traumatic. and the name of the place where i work and spend ALL my time is tied up in the horrible memory from my past that i suppressed. so, recently one of our key people left. that's a kind way to word it. but she also knows what happened to me in my past. (i tried to type out the details but i just deleted them)
anyway, the person that left had a set of keys. she went to the store around 10pm and opened the front door and smashed the light in the back because she KNEW it would freak me out. (she once told me that she likes to 'gaslight' people.)
So, the good news is that i now recognize that i'm extremely vulnerable at times to slipping into an unhealthy mental health pattern. (this puts it mildly)
I reached out to my little brother this morning and told him the whole horrible saga. He has been helpful (sort of) Actually, it has been me that is helping him. his 12 year old daughter has been admitted to an inpatient psyche unit for an eating disorder. OH MY GOD WHEN WILL THIS ALL END?
the other good news is that the owner wants to change the name of our store. (I also told her a bit of what happened. as little as possible) I told her no. That is not the answer. The answer is ..........
hmmm. The answer is for me to be aware of my fragile state at the moment, take baby steps and protect my mental health as much as possible.
I am off line. I took my FB account down.
I am aware that at times I think i suffer from ptsd? or something. and a comfortable pattern is for me to suppress this memory again. but that would be bad. so, little by little i am trying to take my power back.
i've come a long, long way. I'm a success in business and working on other projects in the community. really cool stuff. no one knows this part of me. this fragile part. this fearful part.
yup. i'm afraid of people not liking me too. and you're right. those people don't exist anymore. they can't hurt me anymore. and most of all, it's not about me. if someone is trying to make fun of me it's about them. it's their issue. not mine. <<< that one is hard to remember.
most of all. the most important thing that i've learned in the last few years is this;
simply do your best. Your best will vary from when you are feeling strong and when you are feeling not as strong. but if you always do your best that's all anyone can ask of you.
and i'm the most honest person i have ever met. blink blink blink goes the curser when i pause.
I am.
so, i just told my brother that i feel so sad for the little girl (16 1/2) who was so young and innocent and naive (evian spelled backwards; i bet you didn't know that) who didn't tell a soul that she was brutally raped because at that point i didn't think anyone would bother to help me. it's a pattern.
anyway, so that's all very sad and depressing because i feel sad and depressed. the keys are changed, the light is repaired, the store is perfect again, (except for the website which is a disaster, but one step at a time to get that fixed) but i'm fragile.
and that's ok. I'm doing the best that i can. tomorrow i'll probably do better.
XOXOXO
J.
So, I'm just going to type and let the letters fall where they may....
A song about nuts.
Skippy peanut butter comes to mind. But not a song. Sorry I can't help you with a melody about skippy peanut butter. Skippy peanut butter, it should be a noun instead of an adjective? La la la tea la la?
Or maybe even a verb? Tra la la de da la la.
Ok. Spontaneous. You asked for it, you've got it. (even though you really didn't ask, i see how hard it is so i'm going to risk being vulnerable too.
i have had a very bad week. i work in the cutest place and love my job. but the place where i work was broken into 2 nights ago. the front door was wide open and the back light (on a sensor) where i park my car, was smashed. someone reported it and long story short, i had all of the locks re keyed yesterday.
But here's the thing. THE THING. (probably deserves capital letters)
I recovered out of the clear blue sky a few months ago a horrible memory. very traumatic. and the name of the place where i work and spend ALL my time is tied up in the horrible memory from my past that i suppressed. so, recently one of our key people left. that's a kind way to word it. but she also knows what happened to me in my past. (i tried to type out the details but i just deleted them)
anyway, the person that left had a set of keys. she went to the store around 10pm and opened the front door and smashed the light in the back because she KNEW it would freak me out. (she once told me that she likes to 'gaslight' people.)
So, the good news is that i now recognize that i'm extremely vulnerable at times to slipping into an unhealthy mental health pattern. (this puts it mildly)
I reached out to my little brother this morning and told him the whole horrible saga. He has been helpful (sort of) Actually, it has been me that is helping him. his 12 year old daughter has been admitted to an inpatient psyche unit for an eating disorder. OH MY GOD WHEN WILL THIS ALL END?
the other good news is that the owner wants to change the name of our store. (I also told her a bit of what happened. as little as possible) I told her no. That is not the answer. The answer is ..........
hmmm. The answer is for me to be aware of my fragile state at the moment, take baby steps and protect my mental health as much as possible.
I am off line. I took my FB account down.
I am aware that at times I think i suffer from ptsd? or something. and a comfortable pattern is for me to suppress this memory again. but that would be bad. so, little by little i am trying to take my power back.
i've come a long, long way. I'm a success in business and working on other projects in the community. really cool stuff. no one knows this part of me. this fragile part. this fearful part.
yup. i'm afraid of people not liking me too. and you're right. those people don't exist anymore. they can't hurt me anymore. and most of all, it's not about me. if someone is trying to make fun of me it's about them. it's their issue. not mine. <<< that one is hard to remember.
most of all. the most important thing that i've learned in the last few years is this;
simply do your best. Your best will vary from when you are feeling strong and when you are feeling not as strong. but if you always do your best that's all anyone can ask of you.
and i'm the most honest person i have ever met. blink blink blink goes the curser when i pause.
I am.
so, i just told my brother that i feel so sad for the little girl (16 1/2) who was so young and innocent and naive (evian spelled backwards; i bet you didn't know that) who didn't tell a soul that she was brutally raped because at that point i didn't think anyone would bother to help me. it's a pattern.
anyway, so that's all very sad and depressing because i feel sad and depressed. the keys are changed, the light is repaired, the store is perfect again, (except for the website which is a disaster, but one step at a time to get that fixed) but i'm fragile.
and that's ok. I'm doing the best that i can. tomorrow i'll probably do better.
XOXOXO
J.