Anxiety about visiting extended family

[Lis20]

I recently started this program. I am on week 5. This week I have been having extra anxiety about going to a family celebration this coming weekend. I rarely go to (extended) family gatherings because of my anxiety/depression issues. I avoid seeing them as often as I can. I haven't seen them in years. I do visit with my parents and sister regularly and I am okay with that if visits are short. In the past when being around aunts, uncles, cousins I always felt like I was not having a good time. I would look around and see that everyone else seemed to be having fun. Adults drinking and partying. Kids playing and yelling and screaming like kids do. I felt like I never fit in. I felt uncomfortable trying to connect with people/family. Everyone is always nice to me, but I just don't know what to say to them. I don't know how to act. I really don't want to go to this event this weekend and I would back out except that I am going with my sister and her kids and I don't want to disappoint her. She seems excited about going and seeing the family. Does anyone else get these feelings around their family? I feel bad that I don't want to be a part of their lives. I don't want them in my life. They are all great, wonderful people, I shouldn't feel this way. I envy their lives, maybe that is part of it. I always think that everyone else has it better than me. I just want to know that I am not alone with these bad feelings. I really hope this program helps me to change my thinking because my thinking stinks!

[randy c.]

Lis, I think its normal to be nervous about seeing family you havent seen in a while. Your over thinking it and anticipating what might happen way before you get there, but thats what we do as anxiety sufferers. Do they know you have anxiety? Are you afraid of what they might think if they find out? Maybe you could talk to them about it,it would be a good conversation piece and I bet they would listen because everyone has anxiety in one form or another. If you dont go, explain it to your sister and get rid of the guilty feelings which cause anxiety. Try this...Write down all of the what ifs about going to the reunion,then change it to so-what-if. It kinda changes the way you think about it. Dont try to fit in, just be yourself. If you go it will be a huge confidence builder, because you will prove to yourself that your not gonna let anxiety control you anymore. Hey come to the chat room Friday about 12 or 1 est. Coach Chris and others will be there,you tell your story, ask questions and get or give advice. I hope this helps and remember its just anxiety.