Neither Rhyme Nor Reason

[Awiest87]

Hello,

My name is Alex. I am new to the program. I am 27 years of age and experienced my first panic attack 8 years ago. The first time I experienced a panic attack I was smoking Marijuana. It left me with a choking sensation and though I was still breathing, I could not feel the air entering or leaving my lungs/throat. I immediately stopped using Marijuana. From then on out, the panic attacks became worse and more frequent; I began to experience all sorts of different effects. The problem I've always had is trying to pin point why they occur. I don't feel depressed, life is good to me other than this issue. My panic attacks are totally sporadic. I can be working at my desk, behind the computer, driving or just hanging out with friends and POW! Pain down the arm, numbness, heart palps, head pressure, eye pressure, sweating, choking, coughing and more. ALL VIOLENT, ALL AT ONCE!!!!! For 7 years now I've been on xanax, multiple anti-depressants and have had two psychiatrists. Nothing seems to help. Everyone else here seems to have an underlying issue but I cannot find mine. I feel like it is pure hypochondriasis. It's to the point that I can't stair at one thing for long, I can't be on the highway without pulling over at least once. Etc. I don't feel like I am afraid, I'm not going to die or am I in denial? Anyways, I'm glad to be here and look forward to talking to you all.

[randy c.]

Alex, first of all welcome to the program.It sounds like you have taken all the steps to recovery and ended up here.I think your in the right place.Lesson 2 should be very helpful,at least it was for me.I think you are anticipating your next attack and that keeps the next one on deck.I personally have alot of experience with this.you need to repeat to yourself anxiety will not control me anymore over and over even if you dont believe it at first.In time you will. Any way welcome and check out the forums there is a wealth of knowledge there,and stop by the chatroom.

[Awiest87]

How can I be anticipating them if I'm not even thinking it? I mean I could be in the middle of talking to a friend, laughing and having a grand time with panic completely out of my head and i will feel the symptoms attack out of nowhere.

[randy c.]

Alex, I used to panic because I felt good or normal. I know that sounds weird but I would be talking, laughing having a good time sometimes weeks after having an attack and a thought would creep into my head(while in conversation) why am I not anxious? And thats all it would take. I hope this helps a little.