Has anyone become rather mean?
Before recently completing the program, I had always been extremely timid, a push over, easily emotionally manipulated, way too nice, etc. I understand that it is a normal phase that Lucinda says will eventually "level out" But I feel I've become selfish and even mean at times. I see the power I now have to fearlessly speak up for myself. I don't care what people think now. I now see how often others attempt to disrespect and manipulate me, and how I have been used and manipulated my whole life. I hold my long suppressed desires and feelings to highest priority now. I am scared to let myself be oppressed again. I now quickly respond with confidence and independence, yet with control. My partner does not understand why I have changed. I feel its not my problem if she does not want to take the time to understand me. I see now that she never truly has. I see I've done all the hard work. I see more than ever the lack of effort and love on her behalf.
I do feel this has affected my whole life even in potential friendships and also with family members. But my romantic relationship is a sinking ship. But I need to be me. I need to be and stay free. So much chaos in my life right now. I feel like I am loosing those around me, in order to keep myself. I'm not understood by anyone in my life right now. Does anyone relate?
Becoming Mean
Re: Becoming Mean
Wow. Ka Boom. (the sound of my mind blowing)
YES, YES, YES! I can relate.
I can relate to every sentence Abe with the exception of the title to your post.
Just take away the last two letters and it explains it all.
Becoming Me!
So cool! You only have a finite amount of Sundays left on this earth, Abe, and so do I. Don't let anyone keep you from being you.
XO
YES, YES, YES! I can relate.
I can relate to every sentence Abe with the exception of the title to your post.
Just take away the last two letters and it explains it all.
Becoming Me!
So cool! You only have a finite amount of Sundays left on this earth, Abe, and so do I. Don't let anyone keep you from being you.
XO
Re: Becoming Mean
It sounds like a sucess story to me. 
Re: Becoming Mean
I need to agree with the last post. Is it possible that the people in your life were there because you were such a pushover? I know that, re: my own experience, my need to be liked was so great that I put up with a great deal that I shouldn't have. Once those people were out of my life, there was a painful and lonely rebuilding stage, but it was well worth it.
I've learned to precede everything that's part of a confict with: 'I feel that', 'I believe that', and getting whatever is wrong out that way. There will always be those who tell you that you're overreacting or are too sensitive, but generally it seems to be an effective form of communication.
Hope this helps. I'm finding my way too!! (imagine wry-faced smiley here - laughing at myself. can't get it to copy over!)
I've learned to precede everything that's part of a confict with: 'I feel that', 'I believe that', and getting whatever is wrong out that way. There will always be those who tell you that you're overreacting or are too sensitive, but generally it seems to be an effective form of communication.
Hope this helps. I'm finding my way too!! (imagine wry-faced smiley here - laughing at myself. can't get it to copy over!)
Re: Becoming Mean
Wow! Yes, this for me has been the most difficult part of getting better. And my family just doesn't understand. They take it personally and feel that I don't visit enough and I don't do enough for them. I wish I had advice, but I'm going through the same thing. It's like the "easier" route is to just give in, not rock the boat, not speak up etc. but on the flip side, it means not taking care of yourself and having people take advantage of you.
Re: Becoming Mean
LOL!! Most awesome post ever. Nicely said.Loveslife wrote:
Just take away the last two letters and it explains it all.
Becoming Me!
XO