Stress Center Peer Support

God this is something I hate but can't seem to shift it. I am scared to give away any information about myself I take it all down to lack of any self esteem or assertiveness, this is how bad it is infact, at work I am actually being trained for a second time doing the same thing as I can't speak up and say "Aw I am actually qualified in doing this", Do you know how demoralizing it feels to be trained by someone who you should actually be training as you have more experience? Basically I worked somewhere else prior to my current job, got qualified etc but they went bust so had to get another job which is where I am at now. It was all listed on my CV but I don't think they actually ever looked at it.

That is just one example.

Another few things being, I work with a guy, he has respect from everyone else as they think he is a bit of a computer whizz, and then you hear him talking to others and he really doesn't have a clue what he's on about but because the rest don't know any better he is seen as a brain box. Now if I let slip I have been building and repairing computers since 93 I think I would put him and his ability to install a browser to shame

We also have this other guy, again he is looked up to, he is seen as the mad clubber by the way he dresses and music he listens to etc, everyone thinks he know all there is to know about the club seen etc, again you hear him talking the guy doesn't have a notion. If I let slip I have DJ'ed several times on the most popular dance radio show in the UK i think he would loose any repect he has.

But its easier just to say nothing and give the image of a shy, boring fart who knows nothing at all. Why am I so secretive about my abilities etc?

Anyone?

dj...I am the same way with things. You seem like a very interesting person. I think that maybe you're just avoiding any type of conflict. If you tell these people how qualified you are, or how you dj'ed on a popular radio show they would feel awkward. In return you might feel awkward too. Or, they might talk about you behind your back because they're jealous and you want to avoid the conflict. Maybe you just want to stay out of the spotlight too? I'm not a therapist or anything, but maybe I shed a little light on the situation. I get like that too sometimes. I won't tell people talents I have. I play the piano, and I'm classically trained and teach a little bit. One of my friends has this girl friend who sings and plays guitar really well. I never told her that I can play piano and the guitar too. I feel like maybe I just have low self esteem too...like maybe I'm not "good enough." Ugh...so I can totally understand where you're coming from.

Originally posted by Carla42:
dj...I am the same way with things. You seem like a very interesting person. I think that maybe you're just avoiding any type of conflict. If you tell these people how qualified you are, or how you dj'ed on a popular radio show they would feel awkward. In return you might feel awkward too. Or, they might talk about you behind your back because they're jealous and you want to avoid the conflict. Maybe you just want to stay out of the spotlight too? I'm not a therapist or anything, but maybe I shed a little light on the situation. I get like that too sometimes. I won't tell people talents I have. I play the piano, and I'm classically trained and teach a little bit. One of my friends has this girl friend who sings and plays guitar really well. I never told her that I can play piano and the guitar too. I feel like maybe I just have low self esteem too...like maybe I'm not "good enough." Ugh...so I can totally understand where you're coming from.

Thanks Carla

dj maybe you like keeping your abilities private? or you don't want to brag? I'm kinda of like that sometimes. I play piano and write songs, but I never really tell anyone...I think because I feel like they might not be good. Sometimes it's alright to talk about your accomplishments, not obnoxiously, but maybe just say oh yeah i used to dj on "so and so" radio show...and then say do you like that type of music? then you can have a conversation about it and not seem like you're trying to brag.

Besides this program, I have invested some time in reading and as well as listening to some audio books by both Louise Hay and Dr. Wayne Dyer. I have found them both helpful in regards to self esteem. I'm an artist and have put my abilities on the shelf for years. I would keep my portfolio hidden in the closet, and just try to stuff the whole notion of pursuing my career as an artist down the drain. I was afraid of facing any sort of rejection and a million other things. Now I'm finally realizing that I can't let anyone else or fear control the direction of my life. I'm only on session 9 in this program and there are still some things I need to work on, but suffocating my God given gift is one of the reasons why I've been so unhappy. I hope we can all achieve freedom from fear.