Explination?

[BronzeStar45]

I always seem to have really good moments or really bad moments. If I keep myself focused and occupied I seem to be ok, but when I sit down to relax or am stressed, my brain just starts to spin. I walk outside..take deep breathes and talk to myself with reassuring "this will pass" attitudes. I don't want to go on medication but some days seem impossible at times. Why is it that when Im occupied Im fine? That reassures that it is not a mental illness but how do I become fine all the time? And how do I explain the feelings to my wife? They are so hard to explain.