About this "taken advantage of" stuff... in ch. 7

[Samdaman]

I'm a bit confused... It almost sounds like paranoia when people talk about being taken advantage of and warn others not to fsll into same trap... I didn't expect to read this here, this caught me off-guard. "People who suffer from this condition (lack of assertiveness) are often taken advantage of by others. You are so easily hurt and made to feel guilty that others use this to get what they want from you. In other words, they know what buttons to push to get to you and make you feel bad."
So...... now I'm to fight not anxiety, but against others getting what they want from me? If that happens, then I might "feel bad" and somehow means I'm being taken advantage of?
I'm a simple guy.... if others get what they want without causing me harm, I don't mind, even if they or others consider me bein' taken advantage of. What ultimate problem or "weakness" here am I to overcome? This part of the lesson feels like someone's personal philosophy being revealed rather than a plan of action or strategy. Her words were lost on me. But still, I'm enjoying the program .

[coachchris]

Hi Sam,

Thank you for sharing your insights. I can really here you working through the lessons and trying to make application. Lucinda lays out all of kinds of personality and thinking styles. Some match our stories and others don't. You are very wise to focus on the topics and thoughts that fit your journey.

People who lack being assertive usually feel like a door mat and blame others for the negative situations that they are experiencing. We lack the ability to say no because we worry about what others are thinking and allow ourselves to be controlled through guilt and fear. Not everyone does this, but it is very common.

Hope this helps. Keep taking good care of you!

Coach Chris