Stress Center Peer Support

Hello everybody. This will be my first post so please go easy on me. Well i have a subject that is kinda embarrassing, but also something that I can't get past, Erectile dysfunction. Before I go into that let me tell ya a backstory of myself. I have been doing the attacking anxiety program off and on for about 4 months now. It is going really well. I am still not 100 percent, but i know I am making a ton of progress. I have had depression for about 10 years now and maybe even longer, but that is when I really noticed something wasn't right.
My dad died when I was five years old. He was shot and killed. My brother and I found him dead on the floor after school one day. It was devastating to me. I should have gotten some sort of counseling right after that happened, but we didn't know any better at the time. So I was fine for a really long time after that. I had great relationships in high school. I had a girlfriend for 1 year(freshman year) and another girlfriend for 3 years through the rest of high school. I was very sexually active during those years and had no problems sexually. Then after high school I moved to another state to go to a trade school for automotive mechanic. My girlfriend ended up staying in my hometown. We had a long distance relationship for a while, but then we decided that it wasn't going to work so we broke up. This was really hard for me and the moment that started my depression to surface. I am 30 years old now and I never had a relationship for more than a couple of months after high school.
My depression wasn't bad at this point until my friend ended up committing suicide when I was in my mid 20s. That really fueled my depression. I tried to keep positive, but I just couldn't do it anymore. I never physically tried to commit suicide, but I just didn't want to live anymore so I just threw my hands up and said to myself "do you want to go see a psychologist or do you want to die?" So I finally went to a psychologist and I was put on Pristiq for the depression and I really didn't like that at all so I ended up switching to Cymbalta. Cymbalta really helped with the depression, but like with any depression meds it hurt my sex drive. My sex drive still could be kind of managed at this point, but after a while it just kept going down literally! lol. Then the straw that broke the camels back was I started dating a woman when I was 29 who was very demanding when it came to sex and I just couldn't perform sexually one night. Then it just snowballed from there.
After I broke up with her I ordered the attacking anxiety program and now I am medication free. Which is awesome, but I just can't get past the erectile dysfunction. I think if I was in a committed relationship it wouldn't bother me as much, but now I just have an overwhelming fear that I won't be able to perform with a new woman. Another thing that really bothers me is that I am so young, I am only 30. It doesn't make it right, but if I was 40 I would understand it a little more. I try to work through it, but it just doesn't get any better. It is almost turning into OCD with it. So I was just wondering if any other guy has dealt with this or has any woman been on the other end of this. I would just eally appreciate it if anybody has any advice, excercises, mental exercises,etc.. that they can recommend. Thanks!

HI Dan,

This is Coach Chris (female) from the coaching team here at Stress. This is not an uncommon experience for men especially when combined with stress, medication and our great ability to over-think everything.

I too was on an anti-depressant and did not appreciate the sexual side effects. I eventually came off of them too and am doing well. That was about 10 years ago. How long have you been off of the meds?

I would work very hard at writing out 5-7 positive truths about your sex life. Reread these several times a day and if you find yourself drifting toward worry or the negatives, quickly come back to the positive.

Be sure to take good care of yourself physically. Eat healthy, lots of water and exercise. Be patient. Remember the basics of the program is to become a positive thinker.

Feel free to private message me if you would like to talk.
We are here to help.
Coach Chris StressCenter.com

Hello there! Thanks for replying so fast. I have been off of the meds for about 6 months. I took Pristiq about 3 years ago and that really messed with my sex drive. Then Cymbalta was not as bad as the Pristiq, but I could notice my drive going down. I do overthink it a lot. Thanks for the excercises! I will start trying that today. I also wanted to post this topic because I know it how hard it was to talk about this issue for me at first. I wanted to encourage other guys to talk about it more. I wanted to hear stories from each side because I think it helps the one telling the story to talk about it and it helps the one listening because it lets you know that you are not alone.