Procrastination

[peony]

Hello out there,

I have completed the program about a month ago. I feel a lot better than I did when I started. Most of my gains around faulty thinking.

My main problem right now is procrastination. I cant seen to get to tasks I know I need to do.

Anyone got any helpful comments? It would be appreciated.

Peony

[coachchris]

Hi Peony,

This is Coach Chris from the coaching team here at Stress. Congratulations on completing the program and feeling better. You chose to work hard and little by little make changes. Continue to do that with the tasks you are avoiding. Ask yourself why you are avoiding them.

It could be as simple as not 'feeling' like doing the tasks or there are fears and expectations attached to them. When you can understand why you are avoiding, you can then begin taking the baby steps toward getting them done.

I lot of times it is using the 'just do it mentality' and gaining more discipline and other times it's about courage.

Review lesson 12. That may help too.

Keep us posted. We are here to help.

Coach Chris StressCenter.com

[coachjanine]

Hi Peony. This is coach Janine. Just want to add a thought about procrastination. I see procrastination as giving ourselves permission not to do something. Does your list of things to do include things you "want" to do, or things you feel like you "should" do? If they are things that you don't want to do, but need to do like shop, or go to the bank, make phone calls etc.. maybe your list is too long for one day. Maybe you could choose to do one or two things a day from the list and give yourself little rewards for doing them. Also you may be feeling a little down. If you start your day with exercise, you may be more motivated to get going. We are all here to help you!

[peony]

Thanks for the helpful replies, coaches.

These things I am procrastinating are things I WANT TO DO. I am newly (1 year) retired and there is very little I MUST to do.

I am excercising 5 days per week and have eliminated coffee. I do relaxation most days. My diet could improve, although the sugar and is cut way down. I play a lot of computor games that keep me avoiding.

I found an AntiProcrastination excercise in the Burns book "Feeling Good". You break the task down and predict (1) how hard each step might be (0-100%) and (2) how much satisfaction you might get from doing it (0-100%) Then you go ahead and do it and rate how hard it really was and how much satisfaction you got from it. It motivated me because I was interested in whether I was anticipating worse than reality. It turned out that the actual experience was pretty much what I thought it would be... middling hard to do and a bit satisfying. At least I got something done this morning...

I will check out the negative thoughts (thinking errors) associated with doing the other things I am putting off. Will also review lesson 12.

Thanks again

[tina martin]

I am also retired, have been for some years. Procrastination has not gotten any better with time, I am sorry to say. It is discouraging to recall how efficient I once was and now can't do much of anything. There is lots of "planning" and little follow through. Maybe this comes with age.

Sometimes bribery works, sometimes I try to tell myself how good it feels when I've done what I need to do. But otherwise I have had the time to work on myself (Lucinda's book and others) mentally and physically and am also surprised at how good I can feel at times.

[peony]

Hi folks,

I have been reviewing chapter 12. Some of the things I have been putting off are easier to address and I have been able to actually do them. eg wash the kitchen floor. Invite old friends over (tonite), but some are very hard.

During the course, I decided to go into a hobby I have been interested in for decades: taking photographs. researched and bought a new camera, took a course, and now I am procrastinating actually going out and doing more. I am thinking it is fear of failure. If I dont actually do it then I dont have to face possible failure. Of course Lucinda says there is no such thing as failure, but dammit if feels bad when your results come short of your expectations. Of course the biggest "failure" is this "not trying/ procrastinating" thing. I know I need to look at my bad expectations and faulty thinking around this issue.

Also procrastinating signing up for gym and trainer. I need more than the daily walks. I dont know what's in it for me to avoid the gym. Maybe just that I might pay for membership then fail to go. So is that also fear of failure?

Anyone with more ideas on cracking these issues? Thanks for your other replies

[coachchris]

What-if you succeed? What-if you discover something new? What-if it's the best decision you ever made?

What are the costs to not growing? I love your courage to change and how you continue to inch your way forward.

Be patient with yourself during these transitions and continue to bring balance in. I agree with Tina to get in touch with how you will feel after you have stepped forward. This always helps me. I rarely 'feel' like going to workout but once I get started and I am finished, it is well worth the effort. I also like having accountability. so a trainer or a friend can also help keep us motivated and even enjoy it more.

You are inspiring. Keep up the hard work:)

Coach Chris StressCenter.com

[peony]

Dear coach Chris,

Thanks for the positive "what ifs". Need to do more of that.

I actually did something today that I have been putting off for many months. We bought a 2 year Apple computer "phone support" almost 2 yrs ago and I havent used it as much as I had hoped. So night before last I wrote it on a list and made a plan to do it. I did it! and learned a few new things about organizing my photos. I think I avoid making the calls because I feel so stupid asking questions, but you're right. I notice I felt elated when it was done.

I also looked through my new camera manual. It can do a lot more than my previous cameras. Intimidating, so didnt get into it too far. Again, good to have done even that.

The gym would be something for only me. My husband will go x- country skiing almost every day when the snow comes. I'm not as fit as he is and I sometimes dont like the snow. Since my skiing skills are basic I sometimes fall down. Because I am a little overweight it's a lot of work getting up off the snow. I know he wants me to go with him and says he will only go a couple of hours at a time and that if he goes longer I can go back to lodge and hang out reading /waiting for him. I'm afraid that I should be with him and not by myself at gym. It might be better for the relationship.
I like your comment that the trainer at the gym might be a good encourager.
Of course, I could do both...... The skiing is a lot less expensive.

[peony]

Dear coach,
I actually went to gym and signed up for 1 month till end of 2012. The trainer gave me a program and showed me the machines. I am going back tomorrow to consolidate what I learned today. I feel scared and excited.

Thanks for the advice. I actually think I encouraged myself by writing it all down last nite.

But of course I knew someone out there was listening and cares. Thanks for being there. Peony

[coachchris]

Hi Peony,

How is the gym going? I love the idea of committing to the end of the year. Whatif you get stronger and then move toward the skiing and it all comes together? I think you have a great plan in place. Also way to go in making those phone calls. Keep making positives choices that grow you into the woman you want to become. Our choice and decisions either move us toward that goal or away from that goal. You are choosing the positive direction. Hooray!

Keep us posted. We are here to help!

Coach Chris