Derealization. Feeling scared.
Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2012 7:52 pm
I've had anxiety pretty much my whole life. I'm 19 now. about 3 years ago I went through a phase where I started smoking weed. I probably did it about 10-15 times and I regret it. The first time I had a bad trip of unreal feelings and what not. The next day I felt better but still kind of strange. It went away I believe after a couple days. I thought it was just a "paranoia trip" and I thought it was just cuz it was my first time being high. So I smoked more times and though I never had it as bad as that first time, I was always nervous so finally after doing it probably once every couple weeks for about 5 months, I stopped for good. A month or so later my anxiety got worse. My mind would race even when I wasn't in anxious situations. I was concerned with it even at home sometimes. But then it would go away and come back every few weeks. Sometimes I would obsess over a thought or feeling for a few weeks at a time sometimes and basically the whole time I would have myself convinced that things were a little off. Finally got the program about 6 months ago. THEN, after feelling great for a few weeks, i had a really bad night in late july this summer. I felt weird and unreal. It was a long tiring day and I was in a car riding back from recording with my band. We had been in this basement for a few hours then when we left I just felt really weird in the car. This was just a case of bad anxiety to me at the time. But it ruined my night and since then I've been even more concerned with this unreal feeling. I started taking setrenalene 25mgs (zoloft) but it made me feel more out of it plus i felt emotionless and had no appetite. I stopped taking it after 1 week and felt great for like 2 days but i've been sinking more and more. It's been 5 days since I've been off the meds. I found out about a week ago that i'm not alone with this feeling/symptom and it's called derealization. This is the symptom I experience when I'm in a scary situation like sitting in a class and I start wanting to leave. anyways, the reason I'm scared is because i worked a day shift today at work and usually those aren't near as bad as nights but i felt really tired and my mind started racing about half way through the 6 hour shift and now i'm in my bedroom chilling on my bed and I don't even want to leave my room the rest of the night. I know the feelings will come back.
The reason behind this long rant is I noticed the program doesn't talk much about this symptom and if you've experienced it feel free to post your story!! I would love to hear any advice.
The reason behind this long rant is I noticed the program doesn't talk much about this symptom and if you've experienced it feel free to post your story!! I would love to hear any advice.