Scared of these feelings

[Granville]

I have been battling anxiety and panic for about 9 years now. I have tried most therapies and spent a fortune but nothing lasted for long. I have done Lucinda's program a few years ago after it was given to me by a friend who didnt use it. It helped me a lot and I got to a state where I was managing pretty well. Until last december when my younger brother and his 2 young children died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Even now 6 months down the line, it feels like it was yesterday. All the anxiety stuff has come back and I feel like a mess. I have symptoms that scare me to death, the worst being that I get sudden dizziness and feel I am going to pass out. Unfortunately I cant visit my doctor to get checked out as I have grown up with a horrible phobia of medical procedures and hospitals and I feel that if I go there they will give me very bad news. I am so embarrassed that I should feel like this at 54 years old, terrified like a little child. I pray and promise myself that I will get over it but I cant get over losing my beloved little brother and it screws me every day. I also care for my parents and seeing them broken up makes it even worse. I dont even know why I am writing this because I feel I am beyond help, maybe I just needed to say it to someone. I just wish so much that I could be normal again without these frightening feelings . I would love to be able to do something to make my family proud of me instead of being a pathetic excuse for a man.

Sorry for the moan, my best wishes to all of you
Grani............

[coachchris]

Hi Granville,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my brother last year too. He was 47. It is hard to make sense of those experiences. My faith helps me get through. I too had the panic and the dizziness along with heart palpitations and it wasn't until the body symptoms got really bad that I ended up in the ER. I don't like Dr's either but I knew I needed help and they were able to help me get on the right track.

What did you find was helpful for you when you went through the program the first time? How could you put that into practice right now? I would also try and just pause the negative thoughts and say to yourself, "let this thought go, it is not helpful." Doing that will get managing the negatives sooner. Use your relaxation CD, lots of water and some light exercise is always a good place to start. Feel free to PM if you would like. I am a coach here at the center and we are here to help you!

Chris~StressCenter.com Coach

[tina martin]

Coachchris is very helpful indeed. Just to add a few words. My brother has been a consuming heartache for several years losing most everything. Can't even bear to speak about it. I share your feelings about doctoring, though they surely help many people. The enormous tragedy in your case for you and your parents must be unbearable. We feel for you and can be here together to express our sorrows, to give and receive compassion and empathy.

While the program works very well for some, it is not necessarily a fix-all for all time. There can be recidivism and people do start the program all over again. I work at trying to do the best I can with improved thinking, with writing, with daily exercise, daily meditation, daily attention. It is hard work, to be sure. You can recapture what you had with patience and help from others. Wishing you the best.