Uncontrollable watery eyes

[Iwillbebetter]

Just wondering if anyone else has/does this. I have this thing with my eyes, anytime I am talking and it is anything any bit emotional (even if most people wouldn't feel emotional) my eyes start watering up, not enough for tears to fall, but enough for people to see it there. I could just be talking about how wonderful my children are and there it will come. It doesn't even have to be something sad.

I'm starting to think it kinda have to do with the anxiety/depression. I grew up learning that my feelings were not right etc. So from a VERY early age I learned to stuff them right away. So much so that I have lost touch with them over the years. A lot of the times I really don't know what I am feeling. I am hoping that as I learn of my feeling and get back in touch with them it will start to fade. I never thought about it until just now, but I get VERY embarrassed when I am talking to people and this happens. Maybe that has helped lead to my social anxieties. Although maybe not, as those have been there since my earliest memories.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like that, if it went away, if anything was done to help it go away etc....

[Nel01073]

Hi iwillbebetter I cant remember if that ever happened to me like that but I know that sometimes when I go to stores it happens. Maybe its the bright lights but its very annoying. I think if youre worried about what people think it makes it worse. I do have a problem with blushing and it happens even if im not embarrased but just because im worried about what people will think of me when they see it . I noticed that if I dont fight it and just let it happen and do what I have to do it goes away.

[Iwillbebetter]

Thanks for responding Nel. Yes I think it does get worse as soon as I see that someone see's next time it happens I will put into practice what I've learned. I'm hoping as I work the program and better myself it will get better also. I think maybe I can just be "over emotional" and not being "in touch" with my emotions is probably part of it. Once I get more of a grasp on them I'm thinking it will slowly fade also. But Yes I think that's a lot of it to, when it happens I just have to remember for me right now it's normal and it OKAY!!

[tina martin]

Emotional tearing up can be caused by any number of reasons and can vary during different times in life. These days there is much more focus on the emotions, happy and sad. The past can factor in as can brain chemistry, hormones, the psyche. All quite complex. We, of earlier times, were more conditioned to self-control, to restrain, to be more unemotional.

So I must say I fault the culture for inciting emotions. To get through life we must be tough, not overly sentimental, or so I think. Even meditation can be a way of getting a grip on our emotions. If we sit and have a good cry that's not bad either, in my view. It's a good topic.

[Iwillbebetter]

Thanks Tina, your reply was very insightfull. I never really thought about it but VERY young I was also taught... well I was more so taught that my feelings were WRONG so I stuffed them down.... I also have a lot from my past to work threw... or learn to let go of....
Yes sometimes to sit and have a good cry can be as medicinal as anything!! I've had a few times that I have just sat and cried (not really knowing why) but felt so much better after allowing myself that time to cry!!
Hope you are doing well

[tina martin]

Oh, you are a joy. My eyes, in fact, were watery yesterday. There is plenty to get teary about. Much in life is simply tragic, but there is the flip side: one side begets another side. It's a good day and this is a good thread from you.

We can talk about what was repressed anytime we feel like it. You are not alone.

[katem723]

My eyes dont well up with tears, but I totally understand your embarrassment. My thing is turning red when I feel certain emotions or talk about certain things or the spotlight is put on me. It is very embarrassing and difficult to control.

[Iwillbebetter]

Tina, that is so true, there is much to get teary about. Especially when taking the time to "find oneself", soul searching, whatever you want to call it. It can be hard when you start taking a real good look at yourself. Digging up emotions, some of which I didn't even know I had. And then just as we've been tought to stuff feeling, tears I think in generally are "unaccepted" also. How many times are we told not to cry. You have nothing to cry about. etc.
Thank you also!! It's nice to finally have a feeling of not being alone!!

Katem, thanks for your post!! That would be hard. I know I am uncomfortable in spotlight, couldn't imagine if that were to also cause my eyes to water up!! it's hard enough knowing all eyes are on you.

I'm sure as we are able to work the program and things these will ease in time.

[tina martin]

No, we are not alone. Not sure whether the program addresses this issue, but it is an important one.

As you say, we are expected to suppress feelings and even worse, not believe our feelings, our perceptions, our own voice. It can go deeper into suppressing the self which I identified as a huge problem for myself and my long suffering brother. But I am also convinced this can be corrected. So in my view tears can be good.

[Iwillbebetter]

I don't think I recall really hearing to much about it in the program (although I didn't make it all the way) but yes it is deffinatly important. And is something that should be addressed at some point. I never realized it before, but I think that's kind of what I have done over the years. Not long ago in a conversation with someone, I was asked what do I like to do. I just drew a blank, and thought you know I really don't even know!! I am so use to just "going with the flow" and doing things to please others, I don't even know what pleases me anymore!! But as my self-esteem grows that will to!!

* I kind of look at it almost as at a young age, I didn't allow myself to grow anymore!! Often even at 31 years old, I still feel VERY much like a child. (or at least did as I am now finally starting to grow) Children (especially young) get feelings and don't know what they are or how to express them!! Like a lost, lonely innocent child, who doesn't know where they are going.

Luckily I have this program and determination!! Now I can grow and blossom into the beautiful, precious flower I was meant to be!!!