Stress Center Peer Support

Hi, my name is Katlyn. I recently just started having symptoms of severe anxiety and depression. I am a newlywed and also a new mommy! I thought it was normal for any newlywed and new mother to experience anxiety and depression, but I've recently moved two hours away from my family and my symptoms have got worse. I find myself staying at home constantly, simple tasks are getting harder and harder and I feel like I'm not being the mother I should be. I'm loosing out on what should be the two happiest things in my life. I feel like I'm loosing total control in my life and do not know how to go back to my normal self. I used to be a very outgoing person, there was a point in my life I was working over 40 hours a week and going to school full time and now getting out of bed is hard. I fear my marriage is in jeopardy and I don't want my daughter growing up around a mother who had panic attacks even walking into a store! Please if any one has advice I would very much appreciate it.

Thanks,
Katlyn

Katlyn,
First of all I would like to say it is very NORMAL for you to feel what you are feeling. Listen to what you have said!! (1)You are a newly wed, (2)a new mother,(3) you have moved away from your family and(4) I"m sure friends. Which I'm sure would also mean you are in a (5)new either mortgage or lease, (6) I would also assume a new neighborhood,(7) which also includes a lot of new people!!! and whatever else I am forgetting. That is ALOT of change. All those changes are bound to produce some anxiety and if you don't really know how to deal with it or what not it can only get worse!! First I would take a look at all that has changed and pat yourself on the back for doing all that. then just take it one step at a time. It sounds like you have probably not been so far away from your family before either and that can bring you to feel slightly depressed also which could bring you to not want to go out and do as much. again one step at a time find something fun for you and/or you and your new child. something you can do maybe once a week or everyother week. maybe add things as you go. anyway that's just my insight on it. I'm no professional or anything.

You are dealing with much change as Iwillbebetter states. If you have the program please give it the time and attention it calls for. A good number of people have reported fine results. It may work for you too.

We are here to try and support your admirable goals. Wishing you the best.

Thank you guys so much. I definitely didnt put all this change in that perspective. I do have the program i just started week one. So far i feel a little different a little anxious but I've heard that's normal. It's difficult to find time to do the work and all with a 3 month old, but I really want to get better so I'm trying my hardest to make time for the program. I hope all is well with everyone and thank you for taking the time out to reply to this It feels great to have people now that understand and go through the same feelings I am. I felt very misunderstood for the longest time. A lot of people would question why I feel the way I do and tell me to just get over it but for me it isn't as easy as it sounds. Once again thanks!

With life comes change, when there are so many it's easy to just shrug them off as "life". I hope looking at them in another perspective helps at least a little. I to find it hard to find the time to work the program with all the little things they ask you to do. I have 3 kids (11, 4, and 3) I think I also used that as part of my excuse when I didn't complete the program the 1st time around. So I am now starting over and taking it slower. I've decided it's ok if it takes me a little more than the week for each session. I'm finding time like on my drive to work to listen to the CD. (It seems to be more convinient for me to listen than watch) I bring my notebook (and a few other program related items) with me always now so then when I have a moment to write in my journal it's there. Or to answer the questions in workbook. I have been wanting to work on a schedule anyway. Sometimes it's trial and error also. I'll try it at one time and learn that doesn't work as well so I will try to find a different time. MIght have to change the way I do other things for it or when, but I"ve decided I AM WORTH IT!!
I wish you the best of luck on your journey. and again if you need anything I am here.

** Happy days oh happy days **

I'm purposefully popping this up so anyone can do the same to any of our threads. The optimism in your post is wonderful. Young children and work, but the determination remains. Good for you. Even I, with only the mate around, lock myself in the bathroom to meditate. No interruptions. Maybe your 11 year old can be in charge of younger ones for 5 or 10 minutes. I used to play library with mine. Quiet, please. They liked it. Just a thought.

Please don't be discouraged by spam. It will go away. Yes, happy days.

Tina Thank you I love the library idea. Funny thing is about 3 weeks ago I started taking them to the library once a week for storytime then to check out some book, so they are now aware of being quite in the library. I love the idea. I did also sit my 11 year old down and let him know I am working on me and will need his help. He loves the idea of helping me help me!! I have noticed the spam but won't let it defer me

* nothing can hold me down *

This is sooooooo good to read. I had some of my worst times when my son was around 11 and daughter 7. Cried and cried with no help (no program like this, no knowledge, lost). What I did do though, was always tell them that my problems had NOTHING to do with them. Children are so wonderful. Be loving and reasonable and they will respond.

My children are great readers to this very day. Yes, the library and books are key. Always.....happy days.

It's funny that you mention that. I have had many of those moments, I would go in the corner in the kitchen so the kids wouldn't see me and I would just cry and cry!! Sometime the kids would "catch" me and I would tell them I stubbed my toe or something silly!!! Never would I let them think it was because of them as you say they are so wonderful!! So innocent!! Something someone said recently that really struck me!! Why can't the world be more like children!! So honest. Caring. Innocent. Etc..... That is another reason I am here. I need to learn to love myself!! For how can you give your love to another even a child, if you can not first give it to yourself!!!

** Learning to love me!!! **

Katlyn, please just one bit of info....how old is your new baby. I just have concern due to losing a daughter to postpartum depression after she had her second child. Hopefully it is all the new changes in your life, so much, so fast, and quite a load to pile on all at once. Please don't hesitate to ignore these feelings for to long, especially if you feel you are getting worse. Keep up with the program, let your OBgyn know what is going on, and please stay in touch and let us know how you are feeling. Stay in touch with your family, too. I don't get on a lot but will be looking for your updates on how u are.