Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:27 am
So, after I find this forum I start reading the other posts and feel like I dont have it that bad. Well me being me, I started having the same feelings like the other people that started the post. I read one that said that their sight started to mess up. Sure enough soon after that I started having a very hard time seeing. Its like I have a peice of plastic in front of my eyes and if I move mt head and look sideways I can see fine but looking straight ahead its all blurry. Now I do have eye troubles any how so I didnt think twice about it because this has happened to me before. But since reading the other post I started wondering what is happening to me? I read another post that was about how this person was having a difficult time at a party and it seemed to me like that they could really be borderline suicidal. about 7 years ago I went through that and I still get very frightened by the thoughts of it happening again. I was put into a hospital sppent several of the longest days of my life in there. and the only thing that wasnt depressing about that time in my life was the fact that I got to leave the hospital. Within the last couple of months I finally figured out what caused me to have those dark and very disterbing thouhgts. Now, I do know that i will not go through those highs and lows to those extremes again but reading other posts that there are others going thru what I did scares the hell out of me. Kind of make me feel like I started others going thru it. Again, I know thats not the case but those years it took me to have my Aha moment really messed with my head. (sorry for the pun!)
So i guess that I am confused because of the feelings I get reading the other posts. If i have been there done that kind of thing why am I afraid to step out and give a helping hand, let the others know I have been there and I will do whatever I can to help? Tell them I know the feelings, i know the dispare they are going thru? I may only started the program but I have been to the extremes that others are now going thru. So why am i feeling the axiety and sall that stuff again????
So i guess that I am confused because of the feelings I get reading the other posts. If i have been there done that kind of thing why am I afraid to step out and give a helping hand, let the others know I have been there and I will do whatever I can to help? Tell them I know the feelings, i know the dispare they are going thru? I may only started the program but I have been to the extremes that others are now going thru. So why am i feeling the axiety and sall that stuff again????