Stress Center Peer Support

First post from me so I'll say hi to you all.

I don't really know what I'm after to be honest but maybe someone could offer some advice.

I do have the program and went through it about 5 years ago but to be honest it didn't have much effect, but that maybe at the time I was to anxious to absorb the information, it did put ab end to panic attacks but I'm still not functioning.

I have had anxiety since I was a teen, I'm 30 now, I also have depression, I do function in that I have a job am married with kids and on the surface I suppose I have a good life, but I have a real sadness about me, if I look at photos of myself smiling I can see right through that fake smile to deep sadness if you know what I mean? There is just no joy in life.

I also have social anxiety so have no friends and I can't make any either, I get the impression most people see me as a very odd character, I blush profusly in social situation I suppose making me look like a bit of a freak show.

I grabbed the bull by the horns this week and finally went to my doctor, she put me on citalpram, I started them yesterday but I was so aware of the side effects I brought them on myself, ie I felt sick all day yesterday and couldn't sleep last night, and I'm to scared to take anymore.

I am prepared to go through this program again but can it give me the results I desire? I just want the sadness to lift, I want to enjoy my life because at the min I'd rather die but my faith is stopping me from ending it all so that's out of the question.

Any advise would be much appreciated.

ukguy1981,

I am going through the program for the second time and getting more out of it than I did the first time. The first time I was lazy and didn't write down all my negative thoughts and change them to positives, as it teaches us to do in lesson 3. I figure, what have you got to lose by going through the program again? You have already paid for it.

People probably don't see you as odd as you think. I had surgery on my nose for a possible skin cancer and had decided to go to a restaurant I liked afterward. Well, I had no idea they would cover my face with gauze from one cheek to the other. Do you know not one person ever stared at me, except a two year old? Everybody just acted like I looked perfectly normal. People are a lot more accepting than you think is what I am getting at here. If you blush, just tell them you get a little nervous when talking to others. It is no big deal. Most people could really care less.

Hope this helps some. If you start exercising, I read in one neuroscientist's book that in a year's time, that is as effective as taking an antidepressant. If you start focusing on what you have, instead of what you don't and start focusing on the positives and on positive "what ifing" then your mood will probably start to lift.

Best of luck to you.

Samcat..Now, that was some excellent advice, my dear friend !!!

I would like to add that people are "usually" much to busy in this day and age to "even" care what we think we look like...

ukguy, I think you are suffering from "low self esteem" and you have "absolutely" no need to, since you are as good as the next fellow down the road!!!

This may have begun in childhood, but now, you have it within your very own power to know that you do not have to "measure" up to anyone's expectations of you!!!

I think you are the "one" who is being waaaay too hard on yourself!!!

Give yourself a break, my friend!!! Just lay back, mellow out, and say to "heck with it"...
and "I am going to be myself, because that is who God made me to be, and that is good enough for me"...

You, my friend, were made in the very "image" of God and you need to see yourself, as He sees you, not as you "perceive" others see you!!!

You are a very worthy, lovable, kind, loving, warm, unique and beautiful person!!!

Now, that is who God made you to be and that is who you REALLY ARE, MY FRIEND!!!

The next time that you look into that mirror say, "I love you"...

Have a wonderful night's rest ukguy, knowing that you do not have to measure up to anyone's expectations of you, because your are GREAT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!!

Hello UKguy ,and welcome to the program. Good for you for contacting your doctor because you need something to help you.

If you put effort into the program you will get alot of of it. This is my thrid time going through the program and each and every time I am learning so much more.

Be kind to yourself. You can do this. I believe in you.

Take care and God bless.