Stress Center Peer Support

My 18 year old who just graduated from high school is leaving home, He is moving 2 hours away (in a week) and im having a very hard time dealing with it. My panic attacks have started again (havent had any in years). Im just wondering how the heck im going to deal with not seeing him every day. I know we all have to go through this with our kids but i was just wondering if someone has any advice for getting through this and controlling my anxiety. Im sad but so dang proud of him.

I know it is hard. I remember when my eldest child, a son, came in the day before Mother's Day to tell me he was moving out. It wasn't for college, just to move out with friends and be on his own. It was hard, as I felt, Hey, I'm not done raising you or getting my act together." I felt as if I needed to be "perfect" before he moved on. Kind of a weird feeling, but it was true. I was working on myself, changing habits, not that I was a bad mother or anything, I just didn't feel I had accomplished what my heart desired with this son.

Mainly, he was the eldest that put up with a lot of struggle in our family life. He put up with me running a Daycare in our home while my husband started a new business, he also had to be around when we had to live with my parents for a several months, many things that I didn't feel was ideal. They weren't horrible and he got to have young parents and do quite a bit. He helped my husband with our new business and got to use our shop to build his truck engines. But he also had to put up with 4 younger siblings. So it was hard, but as soon as he moved out another son got to have his room. He came back and noticed that his room didn't even get cold before someone else was moved into it. But I had three sons sharing a room so that he could have his own room, which he was able to have all while growing up and other privileges.

Anyway, he didn't move as far as your son is going to, so there will be an adjustment and it is hard. I watched all my children leave home except for the baby who seems to still stick around, but act as if he owns the place! Hang in there, it is just what we raised our children to do and that is to become independent, even though it is very hard. Paislee

Thanks Paislee you always give such good advice. You are absolutely right thats what we raised them for and i have to accept that fact. Im so proud of him and i know we will be ok. I think i have a lot of guilt because my husband who has raised him wanted to adopt him, he so wanted my husbands last name and it just never happened, it seemed like the cost was to much and something always came up and now its to late. Just like you, its seems like i harbor tons of guilt with Christopher and its killing me.
I sure hope i can get the program soon so i can relearn everything and get back to normal.

My son moved to Texas four years ago then two years later my daughter went away to college then a few months later my husband left me and I was alone for the very first time in my life and terrified.
What helped me what my son left was that I knew how to send text messages so every couple of days initially I would text him just to check up on him and sometimes text him in the evening when I was going to bed and say "goodnight" but eventually we were texting less often and maybe speaking on the phone once a week. It is a very difficult transition to go through but you can do it. Be thankful he is not going to a school in another state and that he is only two hours away so you can go and visit him from time to time. Be proud of yourself for raising him well and now he is ready to venture out on his own and experience life. Know to expect some anxiety because this is a life changing event and something you have not experienced yet. Accept that yor anxious and give yourself permission to feel that way. For me acceptance is the key and trying to fight against the anxiety just makes it worse.