Stress Center Peer Support

When my beautiful child ignores what I say, sometimes I get furious. It scares him. I feel guilty after. I am not violent physically, I just get this crazy look on my face and yell as if to say "how dare you not do what I say..." I am sure this has to do with me being a 4th child out of 5 and never being shown respect nor listened to. But that is no excuse. I love my child so much and hate it when I lose my cool. I don't want to pass my negative traits on to him. Any suggestion?

See your post now and so want to say to you: don't worry, your child will be fine. Children are fantastic. They respond to love like flowers to sunshine. Your child feels your troubles but only loves you in return.

There is a friend who was a 5th child and like you, felt like a 5th wheel. She had bad anxiety all her life, but she was a wonderful mother. Her children, whom I know well, tell me so. Yes, they know she had problems, but she was a loving, devoted mother. You, no doubt, regardless of your own frustrations, are a loving, devoted parent.

It sounds like you know WHY you behave this way so that's a great first step. Now you can start working on how to fix it. I think sometimes just having that understanding, allows you to step back for a moment and choose a different behavior. I think kids should still listen when being spoken to by their parents but there's still a kind way of conveying that. When you feel yourself getting angry, take a moment to compose yourself and deal with the situation in a more calm manner. Easier said than done, I know but the more you practice, the easier it'll get.