Fear is back.....

[John61]

I guess this whole panic and anxiety thing is like loosing weight or dieting. You work out and diet and loose weight then you get lazy and the weight starts to creep back. I'm thinking the same thing about anxiety, you work the program, maybe take meds and watch your diet and start to feel better. Then you get lazy and start to think incorrectly and beat yourself up and fall back into bad habits and sure enough the anxiety comes back.

How do you all remind yourself that when your feeling good you still need to work the program or what ever method you use to feel better?

How does everyone include your significant other without them getting tired of hearing about it?

[Bryson]

yeah anxiety really messes with your relationships. Its an everyday struggle you just have to trust that you have strength to get through this. I will pray for you.

[tina martin]

This is a great comparison to dieting. In fact, in weight matters it is known that keeping it off is generally harder than taking it off to begin with. My way is to never stop building myself up, that positive self talk, positive self image, positive outlook. Negative conditioning will rarely go away for good. So we need to do all we can to try and keep the reverse present to counteract it. Exercise is my practical way, as is meditating with self invented positive mantras.

Now I've been married a long time. Maybe I was an extreme, but I generally did not involve my husband in what was my difficult childhood. Another person can do only so much and we can reasonably expect only so much. We must take responsibility ourself, or so I think.

[John61]

Very true Tina, I never thought of that, keeping it off is tougher. I've been married for 20 years and I don't really include my wife in this because her life is already on overload with kids, work, etc. I feel like I have this whole other life that she doesn't know about.

[tina martin]

20 years is a long time. While we can't expect others to take the place of a professional, keeping issues so secret may be questionable. It could even be your secrecy that bothers you. Depending on how you were to address this, it might just result in positives, for both of you. Just a thought.

[John61]

I have talked to my wife about it in the past and she doesn't always handle it well or she will throw it up to me if we're arguing. She has many good qualities but compassion isn't always one of them, I think she gets scared thinking I'll just totally loose it. I think it's a society thing that men should never feel like this or have these types of issues but unfortunatley I do.

[tina martin]

I sure don't think men are excluded from feelings and the issues they can evoke. Men who are sensitive are rare and special. The contest sometimes is who gets more attention. If you give the program your attention she may just reconsider her position.

More brainstorming just to try and make you feel better.

[John61]

Thanks for the comments. Sometimes I just get sick and tired of having to "work at it" and feel jealous of other people that just go through life without anxiety attacks. It only takes a little bit of negativety to knock you entire day off balance.

[AimCat]

John and Tina: Interesting back and forth on the including spouses or not in one's anxiety. I, too, have been married 20 years, and my spouse really doesn't "get" the anxiety or depression, really. It's kind of a big part of me to just ignore. Though I also know it is a lot to ask him to be understanding of my irritability when his experience is, basically, that I snapped at him. Sometimes, I snap at him a lot.

I'm currently getting anxious about not preparing my children to incorporate positive self talk into their lives. I want to raise kids who are a little better prepared to manage their emotional lives than I was. (Or, to some degree, my husband is.)

Anyway, I'm tired of thinking about my (emotional) "diet" too. But I guess like diets, it's a matter of really developing the good habits so that they become so ingrained that we don't even feel like having a banana split or 8 slices of pizza...

[tina martin]

AimCat, you recognize you snap at him, perhaps unnecessarily, and that's a good indicator. It is my belief children will believe what we believe. We are their role models. So the best thing to do is to try and get a handle on your depression or anxiety (maybe with the program here) and aim for harmony in your family. Just my thinking.

I was hoping others would post but since they did not, I'll also say to you, John, that we never really know (from appearances) what others are feeling or enduring. Not too many people are free of some baggage or another even if they put up a good front. Or so I think.