Yes, T, I too have fond memories of the early time in LTT when we all could laugh together over our "in" jokes, and everyone, for the most part, was mutually supportive and accepting. But unfortunately for me, the last part of it was very damaging. I'm just glad that the three of you were able to stay in touch and that J and I have become close as well. I stayed in touch with Ptr for quite awhile and still see her on Facebook. She is now enrolled at a univ. not far from where I live.
Gee, I wish you weren't so aversive to Facebook, T ! Maybe some day??? There's a lot I still haven't learned about it, but the basics are pretty simple. I love being able to see interesting things that my kids and my friends and their kids are doing. I like that feeling of being interconnected, and I think that is the good part of Facebook. I just ignore the rest. I actually found this stress center site to be more complicated than Facebook! Had a hard time getting enrolled on it and finding my way around.
Anyhow, I hope you are still speaking to me, R. I'm sad that we've had such strong differences of opinion, but I hope that occasionally on this site, we can stay in contact to focus on other stuff that we care about -- like family, nature, adventures, and our two dear mutual friends, J and T, etc.
Take care all,
M.
Dear Diary
Re: Dear Diary
I am a firm believer things happen for a reason. what it is I may never know.
M, welcome to our sanity room. I tend to be abit burnishing but never intend harm. only for awareness. As you mention Facebook it can be a great tool although one must maintain a tight rein.
Sorry ltt was as brutal for you behind the scenes. I think about our validating relationships often.
R
M, welcome to our sanity room. I tend to be abit burnishing but never intend harm. only for awareness. As you mention Facebook it can be a great tool although one must maintain a tight rein.
Sorry ltt was as brutal for you behind the scenes. I think about our validating relationships often.
R
Re: Dear Diary
Back to Facebook. there should be a better way to step back from the stream other than having to use a befriend button. it may be my ignorance in not knowing what to do, breaking the friendship was not the intent. please believe that.
R
R
Re: Dear Diary
T, Congrats on the 52 and I hope there are many many more. with that much wisdom under the belt I have no doubt your on the wagon to stay. 
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
R, thank you for the wisdom you so generously bestow. I'll take it all; all my credit. He could pick the right people for the job he intended, has that ESP. Few others, if any, would have kept up with him. I get the medal, ha ha. He forgot the 50th.
As to FB, whatever you seem to allude to is what I perceived as a flaw from the outset. Actually perceived others too. I'm with Dr. K's blog of Aug. 13 (at FOX) titled, "Studies show FB may be a true, significant public health threat." The owner, MZ, is a business genius but little else, as I see him. M, it is surprising that I found this site so easy and compatible from the moment R told us about it. As to family or friends, the old land line phone still does the trick. I refuse even a cell phone. And at this site here I learned so much.
What happened at LTT had to do, in my view, with the nature of PM's. If I remember correctly, M, you and I actually had a public difference on that topic. There can be a place for PM's, to be sure, but they also can have their downside. Had the idea (right or wrong) that J was hurt in that way. All interesting to contemplate and sure glad we are here. Maybe P...ter wants to join in. In fact, I once had a frightful encounter with her in a PM. Those intense memories, I love them all.
As to FB, whatever you seem to allude to is what I perceived as a flaw from the outset. Actually perceived others too. I'm with Dr. K's blog of Aug. 13 (at FOX) titled, "Studies show FB may be a true, significant public health threat." The owner, MZ, is a business genius but little else, as I see him. M, it is surprising that I found this site so easy and compatible from the moment R told us about it. As to family or friends, the old land line phone still does the trick. I refuse even a cell phone. And at this site here I learned so much.
What happened at LTT had to do, in my view, with the nature of PM's. If I remember correctly, M, you and I actually had a public difference on that topic. There can be a place for PM's, to be sure, but they also can have their downside. Had the idea (right or wrong) that J was hurt in that way. All interesting to contemplate and sure glad we are here. Maybe P...ter wants to join in. In fact, I once had a frightful encounter with her in a PM. Those intense memories, I love them all.
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tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
Did I lose three dear friends in one swoop with that post of my attitude toward FB and PM's? Throw in twitter, texting, and whatever else the techies dream up. Dear friends, I'm a rock solid luddite except for self-help sites, including this one.
The real me is someone right out of a Jane Austen novel where the highlight of the day is a walk. Boring. Indoors we read, chatter about philosophy, shrinkology (no politics), do yoga, do tai chi, meditate. Also cook and eat healthy, listen to music, sometimes dance to Zumba. Life is beautiful. Only took since April 2008 when LTT first came into my life and, really, never left. I have a friend at AZ but just lost a meditation buddy who left because he's picking up his real life. Good for him. But I predict he'll be back and I'll be there to catch him. Can't afford to lose any other friends. Hope you are well and happy, love.........t
The real me is someone right out of a Jane Austen novel where the highlight of the day is a walk. Boring. Indoors we read, chatter about philosophy, shrinkology (no politics), do yoga, do tai chi, meditate. Also cook and eat healthy, listen to music, sometimes dance to Zumba. Life is beautiful. Only took since April 2008 when LTT first came into my life and, really, never left. I have a friend at AZ but just lost a meditation buddy who left because he's picking up his real life. Good for him. But I predict he'll be back and I'll be there to catch him. Can't afford to lose any other friends. Hope you are well and happy, love.........t
Re: Dear Diary
Gosh T. I pretty sure it wasn't me. If their that flighty maybe ya hit a nerve that was festering.
I am not sure but does not self reflection from bruised emotional nerves promote character?
Facebook and such highlight just how much folks wear the feelings on the sleeve instead of being protected by knowing and loving themselves
Have a joyfull wkend.
I am not sure but does not self reflection from bruised emotional nerves promote character?
Facebook and such highlight just how much folks wear the feelings on the sleeve instead of being protected by knowing and loving themselves
Have a joyfull wkend.
-
tina martin
- Posts: 792
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm
Re: Dear Diary
That's an interesting thought to contemplate: who or what builds character. Screens? Am so thankful I could raise my children when the only screen they had was a TV with programs such as Captain Kangaroo, or Romper Room, or Mr. Rogers.
It is a nice weekend but I must prepare myself for times alone as the Old Boy will fly to CA and also NJ. Don't know how I managed in my life, but airplanes are out of it now. Never wanted them in my life. Always wonder about your mother and admire you for your devoted care.
It is a nice weekend but I must prepare myself for times alone as the Old Boy will fly to CA and also NJ. Don't know how I managed in my life, but airplanes are out of it now. Never wanted them in my life. Always wonder about your mother and admire you for your devoted care.
Re: Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
Sigh. (Literally--I just had a heavy sigh, and I'm not sure why) I'm tired maybe? Where do I begin...
First, I'm thrilled that M. has joined in, no matter the frequency. M.is actually coming to visit our little beach town in February with her sister and I can't wait!!!
Did Tina hit a nerve as R. points out? I think that's the reason for my sigh. LTT does not bring back fond memories for me. In the LONG run, LTT was well worth the pain, I suppose, and I did learn many valuable lessons for myself. The most important lesson of all, one that I continue to fall back on, is that no matter the circumstances, "I can only change my behavior or reactions." I cannot change anyone else. With courage and a willingness for introspection, I can change ME, and that's a huge, huge lesson in life. Invaluable, actually.
I never really understood at the time how many people disliked me at LTT. I mean, i think i did, but maybe was in denial? Who knows? I've become a much stronger and more confident person, and I have LTT to thank for that.
So, yes, maybe Tina did hit a nerve. It's all good.
I've had a very busy week at work and find myself making all the decisions. Seriously. I price the inventory at what I think I can sell it for, I ORDER the inventory, I receive the inventory and I sell the inventory. Apparel handbags and Jewelry have a much bigger mark-up then shoes, so I'm focusing on increasing our apparel, handbags and Jewelry of course, all at an affordable price. Now we are even in charge of making the schedule and training the staff. Or I should say I am. I feel alot of anxiety lately and I'm not sure why. My job is very secure, B is out of prison and her father is finally stepping up to the plate and helping in her recovery and J is a very happy young mother. Her husband will be a story for another day.
Note to self: email M. after this diary entry to tell her all is well with B. B. went off the radar for a few days this week and I panicked, but all is well.
My 15 year old niece has been calling me and reaching out. She is my younger brother's daughter. She told me this week that she tried to commit suicide last May and was hospitalized for a week. She has been calling me and begging me not to tell my brother that she was just diagnosed as being bi-polar. How can her therapist not tell my brother?? My brother's wife is horrible and doesn't participate in C's life at all. She posts FB pictures every day of herself "out with the girls" etc, and meanwhile her daughter is calling me and telling me she feels suicidal and is having thoughts about hurting herself again. But she begged me not to tell her father. (my brother) I called Dr. W. and asked her what to do. She told me that "some secrets are appropriate to keep, and some secrets aren't appropriate to keep." She told me that I should tell C. to talk to her father and that I was going to have a talk with him in 2 hours. This would give C. the feeling of having some control in the matter and let her have the chance to tell her father. Long story short, they are all going to family therapy tomorrow night. Thank God!!
Tomorrow I'm meeting the carpenter at the store as I want him to put heavy duty castors on some display cases, put a certain wood paneling on the back of an armoire so we can display more apparel and also to update a dressing room. I'm also working with the town so we can update our signage.
I'm lifting weights at home, 5 pounds, 5 sets of 15, and today I raised them to 8 pounds. Also swimming laps.
Still, high anxiety. The owner of the shop praised me again on Friday telling me how awesome I am, but still, hi anxiety.
I don't know where my anxiety is coming from.
My older brother J. is coming to visit next week. He didn't really give me a choice, he is flying in from SFO and is traveling to a nearby town, so is stopping in for a night or two. This means I will have to take off from work, which is fine, as the new girl can certainly handle it and would love the coverage.
Why the anxiety? My brother is perfect. My older brother. He has the perfect wife, perfect children, a huge home/estate in CA and is the president of a large company. Whatever.
He always wants me to fix everything. He knows about C because I told him. He told me that I would be great at handling this situation and my younger brother will listen to me.
He left me alone when I was so little and he knew I was being abused. < < < That sentence deserves examination but I have a stomach ache.
I really wish he wasn't coming to visit. I tried to get out of it but he wouldn't listen to any excuse.
Sorry Diary for being such a P.I.T.A. Haha. I just had a flashback. My father had a cat when he lived in California with my stepmother. They named the cat P.I.T.A. (pain in the ass)
That's it for now, Diary.
Love,
J.
PS
((((((((HUGS to R.)))))))) He is doing an amazing job taking care of his mother. And if it means anything, I love how he doesn't back down from his beliefs. I'm more wishy washy.
Sigh. (Literally--I just had a heavy sigh, and I'm not sure why) I'm tired maybe? Where do I begin...
First, I'm thrilled that M. has joined in, no matter the frequency. M.is actually coming to visit our little beach town in February with her sister and I can't wait!!!
Did Tina hit a nerve as R. points out? I think that's the reason for my sigh. LTT does not bring back fond memories for me. In the LONG run, LTT was well worth the pain, I suppose, and I did learn many valuable lessons for myself. The most important lesson of all, one that I continue to fall back on, is that no matter the circumstances, "I can only change my behavior or reactions." I cannot change anyone else. With courage and a willingness for introspection, I can change ME, and that's a huge, huge lesson in life. Invaluable, actually.
I never really understood at the time how many people disliked me at LTT. I mean, i think i did, but maybe was in denial? Who knows? I've become a much stronger and more confident person, and I have LTT to thank for that.
So, yes, maybe Tina did hit a nerve. It's all good.
I've had a very busy week at work and find myself making all the decisions. Seriously. I price the inventory at what I think I can sell it for, I ORDER the inventory, I receive the inventory and I sell the inventory. Apparel handbags and Jewelry have a much bigger mark-up then shoes, so I'm focusing on increasing our apparel, handbags and Jewelry of course, all at an affordable price. Now we are even in charge of making the schedule and training the staff. Or I should say I am. I feel alot of anxiety lately and I'm not sure why. My job is very secure, B is out of prison and her father is finally stepping up to the plate and helping in her recovery and J is a very happy young mother. Her husband will be a story for another day.
Note to self: email M. after this diary entry to tell her all is well with B. B. went off the radar for a few days this week and I panicked, but all is well.
My 15 year old niece has been calling me and reaching out. She is my younger brother's daughter. She told me this week that she tried to commit suicide last May and was hospitalized for a week. She has been calling me and begging me not to tell my brother that she was just diagnosed as being bi-polar. How can her therapist not tell my brother?? My brother's wife is horrible and doesn't participate in C's life at all. She posts FB pictures every day of herself "out with the girls" etc, and meanwhile her daughter is calling me and telling me she feels suicidal and is having thoughts about hurting herself again. But she begged me not to tell her father. (my brother) I called Dr. W. and asked her what to do. She told me that "some secrets are appropriate to keep, and some secrets aren't appropriate to keep." She told me that I should tell C. to talk to her father and that I was going to have a talk with him in 2 hours. This would give C. the feeling of having some control in the matter and let her have the chance to tell her father. Long story short, they are all going to family therapy tomorrow night. Thank God!!
Tomorrow I'm meeting the carpenter at the store as I want him to put heavy duty castors on some display cases, put a certain wood paneling on the back of an armoire so we can display more apparel and also to update a dressing room. I'm also working with the town so we can update our signage.
I'm lifting weights at home, 5 pounds, 5 sets of 15, and today I raised them to 8 pounds. Also swimming laps.
Still, high anxiety. The owner of the shop praised me again on Friday telling me how awesome I am, but still, hi anxiety.
I don't know where my anxiety is coming from.
My older brother J. is coming to visit next week. He didn't really give me a choice, he is flying in from SFO and is traveling to a nearby town, so is stopping in for a night or two. This means I will have to take off from work, which is fine, as the new girl can certainly handle it and would love the coverage.
Why the anxiety? My brother is perfect. My older brother. He has the perfect wife, perfect children, a huge home/estate in CA and is the president of a large company. Whatever.
He always wants me to fix everything. He knows about C because I told him. He told me that I would be great at handling this situation and my younger brother will listen to me.
He left me alone when I was so little and he knew I was being abused. < < < That sentence deserves examination but I have a stomach ache.
I really wish he wasn't coming to visit. I tried to get out of it but he wouldn't listen to any excuse.
Sorry Diary for being such a P.I.T.A. Haha. I just had a flashback. My father had a cat when he lived in California with my stepmother. They named the cat P.I.T.A. (pain in the ass)
That's it for now, Diary.
Love,
J.
PS
((((((((HUGS to R.)))))))) He is doing an amazing job taking care of his mother. And if it means anything, I love how he doesn't back down from his beliefs. I'm more wishy washy.
Last edited by Loveslife on Sun Sep 29, 2013 6:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Dear Diary
PPS to Dear Diary,
Dr. W. told me "there are some secrets that are appropriate to keep and there are some secrets that are not appropriate to keep."
I think, diary, that the above quote is the reason for my anxiety. It's a theme in my life.
So, how do I fix my anxiety? Clonopin - that's how. (might as well just admit it to you diary. Clonopin and I are becoming fast friends when I feel this level of anxiety.) I promise diary, that I will try to go swim laps the next time I feel my old friend anxiety knocking at my door.
Love,
Me.
Dr. W. told me "there are some secrets that are appropriate to keep and there are some secrets that are not appropriate to keep."
I think, diary, that the above quote is the reason for my anxiety. It's a theme in my life.
So, how do I fix my anxiety? Clonopin - that's how. (might as well just admit it to you diary. Clonopin and I are becoming fast friends when I feel this level of anxiety.) I promise diary, that I will try to go swim laps the next time I feel my old friend anxiety knocking at my door.
Love,
Me.