Dear Diary

Comments and inquiries to share with others. (Questions for Staff can be posted below.)
tina martin
Posts: 792
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by tina martin » Tue Jun 24, 2014 7:28 am

Oh, dear, dear J. Can't imagine the concern re what you describe. The Agreement still applies. Do your best not to upset your daughter and be optimistic about your darling J. Nature is quite miraculous, wants us to be well.

You are miraculous in all you accomplish, all you can accommodate. But you and I may suffer (I know I do) from the Omnipotence Error (CBT, the TEA form). A terrible, near unbearable burden. What is the Error? We feel responsible for all that's wrong. Trust your daughter to do her best, support and encourage and love her, Love to you........t

Loveslife
Posts: 487
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:33 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by Loveslife » Tue Jun 24, 2014 4:34 pm

Dear Diary,
Omnipotence. A very interesting word that I have never actually said out loud did look up the meaning and the pronunciation this morning.

Yes. Diary, Tina is extremely wise. Tina is the Owl in the story of Winnie and Pooh. I started to think about the word Omnipotence and then thought about the word impotent.

Opposite meanings.

Diary, I will do my best to help my daughter and her son and her family find the right footing to walk through this journey safely.

Whatever the outcome, he is a remarkable and miraculous gift to us all.

As is Tina and R.

((((((((LOVE)))))))

J.
XO

Loveslife
Posts: 487
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:33 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by Loveslife » Fri Jul 04, 2014 9:20 pm

Dear Diary,

Omnipotent. OM Nip Potent. OM NIPP ATent.
Synonyms
Powerful, Almighty.
VS
Antonyms
Powerless, weak.

Ddear Diary,
When I was 17 (or possibly 16) I was raped. I didn't scream. I did what he said. I may have actually helped him. He woke me up in the middle of the night while I was on a weekend getaway with my HS friend. He came into my room when I went to bed, my friend left and accidentally left the door open)
and he couldn't "resist himself". I was asleep on my stomach, he lay onto of me, covered my mouth and told me not to scream as his wife was in the next room. I didn't. He 'made love to me' and thanked me.

I never said a word. I saw him and his wife drive away. We just looked at each other.

My other HS friend reminded me of this a few years ago before I moved to FL and I remembered it. But not for long. It was gone from my memory by the time I drove home.

Now she is my FB friend and she recently posted something about rape.

I remember it now. I remember the parts I can remember.

I. Was. Raped. And. Didn't. Fight. Back. i might have helped him.

I sort of can't breath right now. The fireworks are going off outside celebrating our country and our freedom and this is what I'm remembering.

I'm tired. I'll be better in the morning. My grandson btw is improving by leaps and bounds. He's started holding his bottle today and I just know it will all be alright.

He lost oxygen when he stopped breathing as an infant but new pathways are being carved into his brain so that he can easily regain skills and catch up with all the other babies his age.

Brooke has checked into a hospital in NY. She's in the psyche ward. She wanted me to call her there but when I tried, I couldn't. Some kind of privacy thing.

Happy 4th of July.

Love,
J.

tina martin
Posts: 792
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by tina martin » Sat Jul 05, 2014 9:00 am

Dear J. First, so very thankful your grandson is better and catching up. Brooke and you will work it out together so you can speak. The Omnipotence Error in CBT means you feel responsible for all the ills in the world, all that is a hardship to others and their suffering. Major guilt inducing force rooted in the irrational. Must fight it all the time.

The much touted primal force is also beyond rational. Can be criminal. Nature's blind, potent force that probably causes more suffering than anyone can imagine. Violations of children, of teens. Births of unexpected children. Why is there so much adultery? Ignore the person on FB, forgive, forgive yourself. You were an innocent. You were so young, so powerless. Love........t

NeverADullMoment
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:31 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by NeverADullMoment » Mon Jul 14, 2014 11:57 am


Michael561
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2015 9:29 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by Michael561 » Sat Mar 07, 2015 9:43 am

I HOPE I WILL GET A LOT OF COMMENTS ON MY POST,BUT I JUSST WAIT AND SEE. IM 60 YEAR OLD MALE RETIRED. I HAVE SUFFERED FROM ANIEXTY AND DEPRESSION BIG PART OF MY LIFE,BUT EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TAKEN MANY MEDICATIONS FOR THIS IN THE PAST SOME OF THEM WORKED FOR A SHORT TIME THEN STOPPED WORKING. IM ONE IN THE COURSE AND I LIKE IT VERY MUCH,BUT I STILL DONT UNERSTAND WHY I GET MAD AT MYSELF AND FEEL VERY NERVOUS INSIDE A LOT. I HAVE A BAD HABIT THAT I GOT FROM MY DAD WHEN I WAS YOUNG. PICKING MY FINGERS. IM LITTLE EMABRRESED TO TALK ABOUT IT BUT I NEED TO. THAT ONE BAD HABIT I WANT TO BRECK. I PUT 200PECENT IN THIS COURSE BECAUSE I KNOW IT WILL WORK AS LONG AS I KNOW THE RIGHT COPING SKILLS TO USE TO GET BETTER. I NEED SOMEONE OR MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE I CAN TALK TO ABOUT MY PROPLEMS THAT I HAVE DEALT WITH IN MANY YEAARS OF MY LIFE. I WANT TO POUR OUT EVERYTHING I HAVE INSIDE OF ME AND HOPELY THERE WILL BE MANY PEOPLE WHO CAN SEE THINGS THAT I CANT SEE IN MY LIFE THAT WILL HELP ME BECOME A STRONGER PERSON. WELL WAIT FOR YOUR REPLIES BECAUSE I NEED THEM SO MUCH I WANT TO DEDICATE ALL MY EFFORT TO THIS COURSE. TAKE CARE FROM EVERYBODY

randy c.
Posts: 187
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:27 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by randy c. » Sun Mar 08, 2015 9:19 am

Mike, feel free to post your story, comments or questions on the forums. Were all here to support each other. Check out the mini-chat on mondays and thursdays to chat with someone live. Or check in anytime , you might catch someone on there. Good luck with the program. :)

mkat
Posts: 36
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:32 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by mkat » Sun Jun 02, 2019 10:38 am

Aghhhhhh!!!!! Racing negative thoughts! I wish someone could just turn off my mind. I try to practice mindfulness, but it is not always an easy thing to do. I am forcing myself right now to write on this forum.

I guess there is no sense in complaining to people. I know what I need to do. I just have to recommit and prioritize doing the program as best as I can without thinking it has to be perfect otherwise why bother. Silly voices in my head.

Even things like, Oh this forum has so many subjects to post stuff, where should I post my entry? What topic of discussion is this? Is this stupid? Is what I'm writing right now stupid and I should just delete it and not post anything ever again?

Today, I am forcing myself to go socialize. I promised my friend that I would hang out with her and her 8 yr old daughter today by the pool. Negative thoughts say, "I won't be good company. Why bother going?"

I'm gonna go anyways though. And I am going to enjoy it and I will have fun. It will be worth it. Yeah, I'm tired right now, but I will feel better once I am there. OKay, good. I'm already talking my way through it.

Kucek
Posts: 31
Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2005 10:12 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by Kucek » Mon Jun 03, 2019 7:39 am

Hi MKat,

I hope you were able to go to the pool today and you had a good time! It's been so hot all around the country it sounded cool and refreshing. We use to have a pool and I miss it. I am struggling too, I have cycled into complete house bound agoraphobia and its very hard to recover. I need too go too the dentist very badly, but whenever I even pick the phone up too call for appt I have a panic attack and have too hang up. I fear falling or fainting when going out, because I am on a walker and/or wheel chair. Your post gave me some encouragement, you were able to go, I hope and have fun.

I have been praying very hard lately that God gives me the strength and courage too leave my home, I need medical help. I pray for all us members. Good Luck and God bless you!

mkat
Posts: 36
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:32 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by mkat » Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:56 pm

Thank you Kucek for your post. I did end up going to the pool and meeting with my friend and I ended up having a great time. I am so glad that I overcame the hurdle of not feeling like going. A lot of times I don't feel like doing stuff, but when I do it anyways, I feel so much better. I, too, sometimes deal with agoraphobia and it is sooo debilitating. I hope that you can just try to force yourself to call and make a dentist appointment because that's taking care of your health which is really important. Do you have a family member or friend that can go with you to the appointment? I'm thinking that might be a good idea. Let me know how it goes. Stay strong as best you can. I love to pray to God. I tell him EVERYTHING. Keep praying. Have faith. And I will do the same for myself. We can do it! I am now going to do some reading from session 6 workbook since that is what I am on right now. Talk to you later. Bye!

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