Dear Diary

Comments and inquiries to share with others. (Questions for Staff can be posted below.)
forever young 06
Posts: 284
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by forever young 06 » Wed Feb 19, 2014 6:41 pm

Lyndalu I regret the lack of post on these boards. I loved this thread it had so many posting and I felt close to the one who posted here. I am glad you are doing better. I don't sleep all night either. I might get 4 hrs once in a while. I sleep the first part of the night but if I get woke up about 1 or 2 I can't go back to sleep. I get up really early when I do wake up I I just get up. I wish I could get 6 to 8 but not gonna happen but at least I can go to sleep I am so thankful. I went off my Prozac last march and tried getting back on after having some of the weirdest spells I though I was dying I still have some today. I tried getting back on it and could not sleep for 6 wks it was awful. I was a mess. I am on celexa now and doing better.

mark167
Posts: 74
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:31 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by mark167 » Mon Mar 03, 2014 8:08 pm

Hi LyndaLu, How are you doing and what has been going on with you the past month? Did you see the new PCP and has that changed or improved anything? I hope you are okay and your sleep has improved. Please keep us posted. I look forward to seeing your reply and a smiling face again. :)

coachchris
Posts: 757
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:34 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by coachchris » Tue Mar 04, 2014 6:21 pm

Mark, great to see you in the forums. I like the goals of better sleep and better exercise. Does this mean early to bed early to rise? I know I really have to work on that myself. I tend to like to stay up too late and then it messes up my daily routine.

How are the girls?

LyndaLu
Posts: 794
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:43 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by LyndaLu » Mon Apr 14, 2014 1:49 am

Dear Mark:

Hi. A lot has happened since February 2014.
I completed a workshop called "Healthy Living".
I am now just starting to read the very large book
that came along with the workshop. The book is
about managing your symptoms of physical and
mental health issues. I am also going to see a
Nutritionist tomorrow. I need to lose a lot of
weight because I am obese and the obesity is
just making my physical and mental health
conditions worse.

I am still attending classes and workshops
and support groups at a local women's resource center.
The center has been a great help to me. All of the
classes are free and for women only. The center is
there to help empower women. The classes I have
taken are: Healthy Boundaries, Women's Group,
Courage To Change, Mobil Empowerment on Sexual Health,
Self Esteem, Abuse, Guilt and Advocacy.

I am enrolled in two programs that offer classes and
workshops and support groups in my city. I have
participated in classes about Positive Affirmations,
Women's Boundaries, and Alternative Realities,
to name a few. This next week I am even signed
up for some "field trips" that are offered by the
programs too. I am going out for pizza one day
with a group of my peers and another day we
will be going out to eat Mexican food. And then
on another day I will be visiting a local museum.
Transportation is provided.

I was in a Partial Hospitalization Program for
six weeks last year and after I graduated from
the program I qualified to participate in
an aftercare support group every Monday
afternoon. I attend every Monday afternoon
from 2:30pm until 4:30pm. A group of my
peers that also graduated from the PHP
also attend. It is so nice to talk to folks
that are going through some things that I
am going through too. We all have our
different issues and we suffer from different
conditions, but we can still relate to one
another. I have met so many great people
at this PHP and the aftercare program.
I have exchanged phone numbers and
addresses and I am finally starting to
forge some friendships. I have not had any
friendships for quite some time. I love
to hear all of everyone's life stories.
So many of the folks that I have met
are very, very intelligent. Some have
college degrees and even masters degrees.

I have had some issues with chronic pain
since March and I definitely believe that this
has had a negative effect on my mental health.
I just HAVE to get to an Orthopedic doctor
about my right shoulder pain. I have limited
mobility in that shoulder and it really impacts my life
in a negative way. I am so sick of being in pain.

I have been going to the dentist a lot the past
six months. I have found out that I have something
called "dry mouth" and it can be caused by
medications and that dry mouth causes a lot
of cavities. I have severe panic when I visit the
dentist so this does not make me happy about
the dry mouth. This means a lot more visits
to the dentist, a lot more anxiety and a lot
more money flying out of my wallet. I might
as well have an automatic payment plan with
my dentist and have regular monthly payments
taken out of my checking account to them.
The amount of money I have spent is just too much.
I am a poor person. Someday I will not be able
to afford to go back at all.

Mark, OMG, I did finally get to see my new
Primary Care Physician ( I had been having a lot
of trouble with my new insurance company).
I only saw him one time. He used inappropriate
touch and unprofessional language. That is
pretty much all I am going to say about him.
I signed up for a new, new primary care and
I saw the new, new doctor on April 8th.
I think the new, new doctor will work out fine,
although he and his entire staff seem all just
"down to business" and nothing else. Maybe I
can teach them all to smile a bit and at least
LOOK like they enjoy their jobs. Well, at least
they did their jobs thoroughly and effectively.
I will be referred to a kidney doctor about
a cyst in my right kidney and I will be referred
to a thyroid doctor about my thyroid.
PS: I still hate my new health insurance company.
I am on the phone with them all the time for
one thing or another.

I have been keeping very busy in April 2014.
I applied for some free medication assistance
and I was told by my Gastroenterologists office
that I was denied. I will now have to call the
drug manufacturer to find out the reason for
the denial and what I can do to appeal it.
I take one very expensive name brand drug
for my physical health and I need the
assistance very badly.

The best part about April is that I am
starting to find some friends. I got an e-mail
address from someone in one of my workshops
and we are now writing to each other.
I met a gal at my Partial Hospitalization Program
last year and we finally met for lunch the other day.
Then I contacted another gal from my
Partial Hospitalization Program the other day
and we are going out to lunch next week.
This is a very big step for me because I have
not had any friends since I lost my job five years
ago. So I am hoping that I can continue to
keep in contact with these folks on a regular
basis. I also have met a lady at one of my
support groups and we chat on the phone.
I have one other gal that I call about once a month
to see how she is doing just to check in on her.
And I have a phone number for a lady that is in
one of my programs that I attend but I have not
called her yet. Whew, I am out of breath !

I have had more anxiety lately and so my
psychiatrist gave me a little Clonazepam.
I am taking a very low dose but it has
really been working out. I am going to need
that Clonazepam this Friday because I
have agreed to have lunch with some
relatives that are visiting from the Stress
and I am really dreading going to see them.
But I myself chose the restaurant, the day,
and the time for the lunch ! So, I have
had control of the whole affair so far.
Hopefully it will just be a one hour lunch
and then they will all be one their way. I just
don't want them asking me a million
questions about my recovery. I know that
they know NOTHING about mental illness
and so why should I go on and on talking
about all of it if they are just never going
to "get it". Maybe they can talk about
THEIR lives and then leave MY life alone.

Well, it is very late and I am very hyped
up now. I am sorry I wrote my whole
life story on here. No one will probably
read it, but at least I got it out of my
system.

I will see you all next month.

Lynda Lu :shock:

coachchris
Posts: 757
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:34 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by coachchris » Mon Apr 14, 2014 10:18 am

Hi Lynda,

How great to hear all of the positives you are creating in your life. I know that takes a lot of effort on your part, so part yourself on the back. You are loving yourself well!

You are a great example of how to plug into the resources that are in our local communities and how effective they are. Thank you so much for sharing!! You have given hope to many, I'm certain of that:)

Many blessings,
Coach Chris StressCenter.com
bootcamp@stresscenter.com

forever young 06
Posts: 284
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by forever young 06 » Fri Apr 18, 2014 10:07 am

lyndalu I read your whole post and enjoyed it. I am glad to see you are getting out and doing things. I need to do the same I spend way too much at home. I wish I could find some support groups but I live in a very small rural town I don't think we have any thing. I may try calling around to see if we have any thing.

Loveslife
Posts: 487
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:33 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by Loveslife » Sun Apr 20, 2014 9:10 am

Dear Diary,

I'm so glad to see/read that others here use the tools of 'Dear Diary' and find them sharing their stories as I shared mine.

I've left a piece of myself here, diary, and I'm grateful I was given a voice, I'm grateful I was lent an ear, and I'm grateful that at times I borrowed my friends shoulders to lean upon.

Diary, I'm passing the flame to anyone that needs you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crTc1V34m8g

Love,
J.

tina martin
Posts: 792
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:24 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by tina martin » Mon Apr 21, 2014 8:39 am

Yes, the promise lives on. You and R live in me as long as I have my wits. Can't believe what LTT, StressCenter.com, AZ have done for me, helping me to face whatever is in store. So, yes, Gratitude is big.

As you may know I tend to be critical of technology, but cherish the magical friends it enabled me to meet. Why, oh why, did LTT have to close? Love........t

Loveslife
Posts: 487
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:33 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by Loveslife » Mon Jun 23, 2014 9:11 pm

(((((TINA))))) ((((((((R.)))))))
And all others that can benefit from Dear Diary.

I have a problem. My Grandson James turned one last month and the whole family came for a visit.
But I have a heavy heart.

I've reviewed The Four Agreements and the only answer I have is The Fourth Agreement.

4. Always do your best.

I'm not ready to post the problem concerning my darling, cute as a button grandson yet, but I've 'COME BACK TO THE HOUSE AT POOH CORNER' to try to start.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpXUYIOoFzM

Loveslife
Posts: 487
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2010 6:33 pm

Re: Dear Diary

Post by Loveslife » Tue Jun 24, 2014 7:07 am

Dear Diary,
The reason (I think) that I don't want to talk about the problem with my grandson with you is that I can't fix it.
My friend M. has given me great advice to encourage my daughter, build her confidence and be supportive. I am doing this.
My grandson was put on monitors about one month after he was born because he was at high risk for SIDS. He did stop breathing a few times but not for long and now he is one and all is well. We thought.

(and it might still be-hard to say with a one year old)

Her pediatrician a few months ago recommended The Birth to 3 Year Old Development group come and access him and they did. They said he was behind because he was only using one half of his body, won't hold his bottle, keeps his fists in little balls, can't walk yet, etc. They said he was behind in fine motor skills but expected him to catch up.

When they came down I took the week off and spent a lot of time just playing with him. By the time they left he was walking if I held his hand only, clapping, (but only using one hand to clap into the other) and playing "how big is J." "Sooooo Big" and a few other things.

Progress. He was keeping both hands open all day and I was sure that given a week or so he would be holding his bottle. (Also, he can't 'pinch' his food together and feed himself) He uses a sort of big fist like gesture. Hard to explain.

Anyway, long story short. The team came back and spent 2 hours with him and they brought an Occupational Therapist.

He tested at 15 percent of normalcy in all categories except speech.

I asked my daughter if they are suggesting he see a neurologist. (I'd be pounding down the door to a neurologist) but they said, 'possibly'.

I have to be very careful with my daughter as she told me that she panics if she talks about it for too long and so I have to wait for her to bring it up. We face time every night. I face time with my Grandson.

I know I'm looking for symptoms so I may be imagining things that aren't there.

Wait and see. In the mean time this is a very critical time period. His brain can carve new pathways that will allow him to catch up and hopefully he will be like every other little boy pretty soon.

But I can't upset my daughter.

Work is unbelievably great and I am running the store now. Doing all of the schedules, payroll, planning, budgeting, buying, etc.

I can take a few days off and fly up to see them but money is an issue.

I don't know what to do but The Fourth Agreement in this case doesn't feel like it applies. My best may not make the difference that this little boy needs.

The End.

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