Stress Center Peer Support

This is the 3rd time I've tried to post this, and its been deleted so I will make this extremely short. If you have any furthers questions about me, please ask. My name is Jason McGrady, I'm 34 years old. In Summer 2005, I had a TIA (MINI STROKE) that lasted only 30 min and I made a full recovery. According tot he doctors I have a PFO ( Miniature flap/hole in my heart). Apparently, I had a blood clot in my leg that went through the flap and up to my brain. Right up to this moment here on MArch 28, 2010, I suffer from constant daily Panic Attacks, and stress, about what happened and what could possibly happen. My way of thinking is, well, I had a stroke, so what's to keep me from having something else happen to me. i.e. HEART ATTACK! SO I constantly worry about that. My worst fear is seeing stars. The reason for this is when I had my stroke, I saw hundreds of stars. That scared the hell out of me!!!! Today, I got my son out of his crib, I changed his diaper, changed his clothes, and took him to the kitchen for breakfast, and as I began to sit him down, I saw a star out of the corner of my eye. It instantly made me start to panic and it took me back to my event, and it even made me lightheaded! These are thing s that makes my life difficult. I will admit, I probably see a lot more stars than regular people, because I have to 5 mg of Warfarin (BLOOD THINNERS), since the PFO is too small for device closure. So, I have to take Warfarin for the rest of my life, unless there are any medical advance in miniature device closure. In the meantime, I'm stuck taking Warfarin, which makes it easy to see stars, and creates multiple daily panic attacks because seeing stars was a part of my stroke. So, how can I not panic about that. Recently, I tried out the Trial CD's from you guys, and on Disc 3, it scared the crap out of me. On Disc 3, during the group session, there's a 48 year old woman who says that she was under so much stress that it caused her to have a heart attack, and even according to the doctor, stress & anxiety was the cause of her heart attack. THAT REALLY SCARED ME!!!! So, now I'm worrying about that. I know you hear this a lot, but I felt feel like my situation is different from most. I really feel this way. Also, there was a time when the occasional eye floaters didn't bother me, but it does now. Sometimes, I tend to catch myself watching the eye floaters get in the way of what I'm paying attention to. It's really frustrating!! I was never like this until my stroke, I really hate this! Any words of advice for my situation?

Jason, Welcome.

You laid out some very real facts. Micro science has came along ways and is still adapting quickly so keep optimistic about the Heart fix. You are still young and maybe in a way it has saved your life. Had that happened 10 or 20 yrs from now you could be on a star. The more you can educate yourself and focas on nutrition and blood health and exercise the more confident you will be.
What if when you get the floaters use it as a reminder to maybe take even deep breaths, in threw the nose and out threw the mouth and recollect the moment. Take a mental quicktest for anything odd and relax abit. Easier said than done I understand. Fretting about it may kill ya, so even if you slap yourself to change the thought it is in your best interest to do so. It will take some inner reminding of yourself and before you know it, it can be a learned habit or maybe a healthy dicipline.

Glad you did not give up on your story when the first times did not work.

As Spock would say "live long and prosper".

That baby will need ya, so don't go running off.

R

jasmcgrady,
Welcome! You are at the right place to learn how to deal with this anxiety. I'm glad you are recovered from your stroke, and I can understand your worry about your health. This program will help you.
I don't know when you started the program, or if you are actively doing the entire program. Do your lessons in order and work book, relaxation tape as well.
It would be unfair to just listen to tape 3 and not understanding the first 2 sessions. We all know stress is not good for you to live under for looong periods of time. The good news is you know you are having troubles with it, and are working on learning how to control your thoughts. You hold the locks and you hold the keys! This program will help as well as many other people on this site. Post, we are all here to help each other!
Good Luck...

Hi Jason, Welcome! I'm so sorry you had to experience a TIA. My mother had those, but at an older age. So I had no idea that you can see lots of "stars" when this happens. I'm glad that you are fully functioning, that's great! As you work this program it will help you to calm down and relax. I was just at the Dr's today and my blood pressure was 116 over 70. I call that a Miracle! Because I went in there due to either a sinus infection or bladder or something was causing me to stay in bed for 9 days. A really bad cold or something. So I've come a long way since my first panic attack last spring.

So no anxiety at the Dr's office at all...I've come a long way! You'll get there too! Another bonus was that I hadn't weighed myself since the last Dr's visit in the summer. I weighed in at 135 lbs, which was amazing because I hadn't weighed that for a couple of years or so. So this time I weighed in at 137.5 lbs and this was after months of just staying in my room or at the computer to keep anxiety and panic attacks at bay. So I was pleasantly surprised that I kept my weight down while on Anti-depressants that I weaned off of and that part of keeping the lbs off was eating a good diet,. mainly protein, limited sugar and fats. Now just imagine what can happen when I start back walking again. BTW, I'm 56 and 5'3" tall.

So there is hope, just as THH suggested, start with the first CD and keep trudging along. We're here for you! Paislee

Read your post yesterday and felt overwhelmed. Others posted so beautifully. What can I possibly say? TIA's and strokes are in my family. I know them only too well.

What you must do is fight them by not giving them one inch into your life. Each day that you wake up, have your mind, your precious mobility, your body, your functions, your child.....you are untouchable. Your Will, your determination, your fighting spirit, your hope, your embracing of the day and all that is dear to you today will sustain you, give you strength and joy each day, each moment. Strokes can change many things; some, believe it or not, for the better. You see life through a different, more vibrant prism.

Much is being studied about the brain, the neuroplasticity of the brain. It is a spectacular self-healing organ. Some cells may give out, others work hard to compensate. You can end up with an appreciation of every moment of your life as few others can.

Strokes can put off and deal with anxiety. You can confront all things, never fed up your control.

Jason, your story is very similar to mine. I had a heart scare that triggered my panic and anxiety when I was 40. I'm now 50 and over the last 10 years I've learned alot and have it under control most of the time. From time to time I forget what I've learned and go back to my old ways and sure enough the problem comes back. One thing that really works for me is writing down what my worst fears are and somehow seeing them on paper and realizing how unreasonble they sound helps me. I don't get panic attacks anymore and I think this program has really helped me with that. Hang in there!

John 61, I like your story and how encouraging it is, thanks for sharing. Very good advice about writing down our worst fears and confronting them. Paislee

Want to concur that writing is an outstanding therapeudic means of helping ourself. It has been a key component of helping myself for years. The program here includes writing and I believe posting in and of itself serves a similar function.

The TIA and stroke issue is a work in progress for me. I've written about my childhood, culture shock in the US, and other matters. Being able to read, think, and write are gifts beyond measure. So if a stroke does not rob us of these abilities, it can be an awakening to what many others simply take for granted.

Thank you, John, for stating this. It may be of help to Jason and many others.

Tina, do you have you Life Story written here for us to read or just in one of your journals?