Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:13 am
I have been going through a personal hell since the summer of 2008. It all began with a seventeen year marriage falling apart that eventually lead to divorce one year later. Basically the marriage was a typical disaster leaving our four children in the middle of a mess. Eventually things started to level off and we all found our place with-in our incredibly complicated family dynamics.
My marriage began after I had left the woman of my life, which in itself is a very long story. I had relocated and picked up the shattered pieces of my existence and eventually met this woman and started a family and that was the beginning of my seventeen-year trek to a secondary disappointment. After things settled down from my divorce my personal life began to look up, the woman I had always been in love with and left 24 years ago contacted me and I was on top of the world as we finally forgave each other for our past problems and began to simply talk over several months, this was absolutely wonderful as I was getting that second opportunity to actually be with the woman I truly love (Unconditionally) to this very day. She had never left my heart over the years we had been apart. We eventually got together and began dating, we began making plans and it all seemed so real. For nine months we were headed in the direction of complete togetherness or so I thought and then on June 17th of this year the bottom fell out of my world again, she ended our relationship in a moments notice leaving me only to speculate what had gone wrong, she wouldn’t and hasn’t spoke to me since that morning from hell. So basically my life had gone “full” circle (Literally) and here I am completely consumed with desolation. But wait! There’s more. A few weeks after losing her companionship again I became ill, I had found a tumor, which lead to several weeks of tests prior to a surgery for removal. During the process of preparing for this a second issue developed however I could not address it due to the urgency of the tumor problem. I finally had the surgery on September 2nd and fortunately the tumor was caught before it became malignant which if left would have metastasized into my lymph system. Now I am in the midst of addressing the second issue, which is in my colon, how fun this is! It is absolutely miserable to say the least. I have never had a sick day in my life, I am 48 and now I am a train wreck both emotionally and physically.
So I guess I am writing this because I had ordered the program with hopes of heading in the direction of healing but (Another brick wall) the program never arrived! When I placed the order they entered the wrong address number so when I received the confirmation email I caught it and called to have it corrected but they entered the address number down wrong again? How can this be? Perhaps they did not correct the mistake at all. So I called and cancelled the program, I will be going to a specialist for my medical issue and financially I will not be able to afford this program right now anyway my treatments will be in Portland, Oregon which is a two hundred mile round trip commute so I will need every penny I can pull together for expenses. Perhaps I can order the program later after I learn more about where my health status is, if it is ugly then perhaps this is a mood point all together. I will be losing this website access soon since I will be unable to purchase the program.
I apologize for climbing on my soapbox with my rant but it is really hard when there is no one to share my feeling with. Also, I used to be able to write well, in fact I spent many, many credit hours in college for it but this too I am seeing to be a difficult thing to do well anymore. All the medications and all the stress I am going through has really taken its toll.
My marriage began after I had left the woman of my life, which in itself is a very long story. I had relocated and picked up the shattered pieces of my existence and eventually met this woman and started a family and that was the beginning of my seventeen-year trek to a secondary disappointment. After things settled down from my divorce my personal life began to look up, the woman I had always been in love with and left 24 years ago contacted me and I was on top of the world as we finally forgave each other for our past problems and began to simply talk over several months, this was absolutely wonderful as I was getting that second opportunity to actually be with the woman I truly love (Unconditionally) to this very day. She had never left my heart over the years we had been apart. We eventually got together and began dating, we began making plans and it all seemed so real. For nine months we were headed in the direction of complete togetherness or so I thought and then on June 17th of this year the bottom fell out of my world again, she ended our relationship in a moments notice leaving me only to speculate what had gone wrong, she wouldn’t and hasn’t spoke to me since that morning from hell. So basically my life had gone “full” circle (Literally) and here I am completely consumed with desolation. But wait! There’s more. A few weeks after losing her companionship again I became ill, I had found a tumor, which lead to several weeks of tests prior to a surgery for removal. During the process of preparing for this a second issue developed however I could not address it due to the urgency of the tumor problem. I finally had the surgery on September 2nd and fortunately the tumor was caught before it became malignant which if left would have metastasized into my lymph system. Now I am in the midst of addressing the second issue, which is in my colon, how fun this is! It is absolutely miserable to say the least. I have never had a sick day in my life, I am 48 and now I am a train wreck both emotionally and physically.
So I guess I am writing this because I had ordered the program with hopes of heading in the direction of healing but (Another brick wall) the program never arrived! When I placed the order they entered the wrong address number so when I received the confirmation email I caught it and called to have it corrected but they entered the address number down wrong again? How can this be? Perhaps they did not correct the mistake at all. So I called and cancelled the program, I will be going to a specialist for my medical issue and financially I will not be able to afford this program right now anyway my treatments will be in Portland, Oregon which is a two hundred mile round trip commute so I will need every penny I can pull together for expenses. Perhaps I can order the program later after I learn more about where my health status is, if it is ugly then perhaps this is a mood point all together. I will be losing this website access soon since I will be unable to purchase the program.
I apologize for climbing on my soapbox with my rant but it is really hard when there is no one to share my feeling with. Also, I used to be able to write well, in fact I spent many, many credit hours in college for it but this too I am seeing to be a difficult thing to do well anymore. All the medications and all the stress I am going through has really taken its toll.